"This is a song about weddings....and LL Bean..."

-Joshua Radin

Anyone who knows me well, knows that the end of summer is not something I like to talk about. Or think about, or acknowledge, let alone celebrate. I just quietly switch from shorts to jeans, wear hoodies a little more often, and try to keep my tan as long as possible- all the while acting like nothing really was changing.

For a long time, the end of summer was unspoken because it meant I had to go back to school, which was hard. I had to leave the people that supported me and made me truly feel happy, and go back to a town where I forced myself to fit in, had few people I could really trust, and spent cold nights alone. Granted, the semesters got better and better, but only recently have I reached the pointwhere the smell of a fall evening doesn't give me a tough knot in my stomach.
but here I am. holding my head high as we wave out Summer 2010. I am learning to embrace Memorial Day, and Labor Day, as more than just fake holidays where people don't work, but as the seasonal bookends to that time of year when my heart is happiest.
Memorial Day 2010 was a pretty fantastic kick off, as we had our entire family together, and I got to ring in being 25, and this Labor Day weekend, has been a quieter sort of fantastic as well.

Friday night was spent at a birthday party for one of my "faux little sisters" who used to live next door to us. We're not really related, but I remember the days both she and her sister were born, so may as well be right? There were 12 or so little girls from ages 6-8 and they made pizzas, and played games outside, and watched the birthday girl open presents. I sort of just drifted about in a cloud of nostalgia, realizing I don't even know what the "cool toys" are any more. (Does anybody understand the zhu zhu pet hype??? ....anybody? I thought we were still on Webkinz!) At the end of the night the "grown ups" had a glass of wine, and I just completely caved as Gracie ran over to show me her newest color of nail polish, and the body glitter one of her friends had given her. I asked to see it, and rolled the scented body glitter all over my shoulders, just as I would've done for a dance in 7th grade. Then to end the night we all picked a pack of silly bands and went on our way. All in all a successful Friday night. And a conclusion that body glitter should probably make a comeback (although- it really only grows up into "dry oil shimmer spray" but please, all girls love to sparkle)
Saturday was the star of the weekend though
We were a little worried for awhile with the impending "hurricane Earl," and like any good over reacting Mainers, my family was stocked up on water, canned goods, and was ready to batten down the hatches. I predicted, that much like every other big weather event we get our hopes up for, it would be anticlimactic, and if anything happened, it would rain enough to ruin our plans, and that would be that.

And although I had secretly prepared myself for a quiet rainy day of putting away a months' worth of laundry and staying in bed to watch my weekend dose of Reality TV, I was quickly excited to see that Saturday morning proved to be absolutely perfect! Sunny, with just the lightest breeze (ok maybe it was a little windy) and the sister and I were off to the madness of the outlets on Labor Day weekend, and to see a free concert of: JOSHUA RADIN!!!!!!!!

Joshua Radin is sort of an unknown name to most. He sneaks in places like the movie Post Grad's soundtrack, or the soundtrack on Grey's Anatomy. Just little places, enough to stomp on your heart, and make you cry tears of joy and hopelessness all at the same time. But for me, I knew more of him.
I first discovered JR the summer after I graduated college, before my life had really taken off, and there were some remnants of the past just hanging on by a summer thread.

It was this song.

I began to find more and more of his stuff, and he took up most of my "sleepy time" playlist. Literally, every night, his voice would calm my ridiculous, overanalytical mind, and I'd drift off. He was with me when I spent the early nights alone in the giant house in Auburn, when I was searching for purpose in Gray, and he always makes an appearance on my ipod when I need to crash on a plane before getting to Who Knows Where.
One of his more upbeat songs, that I'll end with, has also been made into an alarm that frequently wakes me up when I need to wake up on the right side of the bed...

So Maisy and I met up with some friends for lunch at Sam's, snagged some amazing deals at the Abercrombie outlet (don't hate) had a round of pregaming at Starbucks with the necessary girl talk, and finally parked our camp chairs on the LL Bean lawn to wait for the show to begin.

It was a very chill vibe, and with the exception of a few obnoxious teeny bopper girls shrieking, the group was well behaved and downright quiet and peaceful. I sort of couldn't believe we had such an opportunity for free! We sat there under the stars, and listened to him sing, and tell stories about every song (most of which were about ex-girlfriends.... and yet... who would leave THAT!?!?!?!... although- he's a musician, and probably either overemotional, or apathetic...or a Sagittarius.... but I digress) and it was just so perfect. I was reminded of the power of live music, and how there is something about the thump of bass that you can just feel deep in your heart and it makes you feel alive. ....and why I tend to have a thing for musicians....

He sang a few favorites, including Closer, but nothing too emo, and he was actually so freaking funny, he didn't really give us a chance to get into a slump, which was good too. He did some new stuff too, which had never been performed live before, and his new album comes out on October 12 so that went on the Ical.

It was over way too soon, and Mais and I hit Starbucks one more time and wandered the town to unwind before heading back home, and admitting to ourselves that summer really was over. But with that performance, and seeing the man live who has seen me through so much without even knowing it (ew that sounds cheesy right?) It just felt good. It was a good night.

The rest of the weekend was spent doing more shopping, relaxing, and clocking in a few more hours at the pool before it's covered with snow again. It was pretty perfect.

So there you have it. Mal v. 2010, is ready to bid this amazing summer farewell, and ring in the fall.

I'll let Mr. Radin kick it off for us, cause well... I couldn't say it better myself.

Happy Labor Day.

xoxox

I went to meet with the people I'm going to be working with/for. It was incredible. First off, I had to meet with the superintendent of the Maranacook school district, since I'll be on their payroll, and it started off sort of intimidating since I've NEVER had anything of a job interview before, but it was comforting to know I already had the job, and it was basically just to prove I knew what I was doing and would be an asset to the team.
He began professional, and sort of edgy, and he asked me "So...what do you know about the Maine Support Network?"
And I proceeded to tell him, "Well, I've been involved with them for about 7 years," and he was immediately impressed and relaxed. We chatted for about 20 minutes and it ended with us talking about camp (He asked, "so do you do any public speaking...") And he closed with. "WELL. you really made my day!"
which clearly made MY day. I felt really really good about it, and the fact that he was psyched to have me on board!

Then I rode over to the MSN office with a lovely lady named Coleen, and she was wearing lime green crocs, which was only ok cause it showed me these people were super down to Earth, but when we got to the "office" I nearly died.
First of all, it's basically just an adorable house and it just happens to look like I decorated the place. Never have I walked in somewhere and had such an "oh my god, I belong here!" reaction. The first thing I saw was a Vera Bradley towel, about which I gushed, and come to find out, one of the girls' (who is absolutely lovely!) family owns the CALICO PATCH IN FARMINGTON!!! So I totally know them!
Coleen asked if I liked coconut coffee (favorite!) and she made me some, then we went to sit in another office that had THE SAME exact PURPLE carpeting as my room, as well as the purple desk chair I just retired!
A bit later, I met with my supervisor, and she asked me questions about my working/learning style, and we just chatted. Her signature colors are pink, purple (um remember my room at school anyone?) and zebra! She's amazing. She told me all sorts of things I need to get for work (they're going to give me a work expenses credit card!) and one of them is a bluetooth headset and she already had a pink one, as well as ringtones for all her coworkers. We're SO on the same page! I can't wait to start. truly.

After being pumped from all of that, I called Colin and we went to Starbucks. Sometimes we go out and it's like we both have so much that is unsaid, and it's strained and weird, but this was one of those times that was just wonderful, where we're just 100% open and comfortable, and we reminisced about old dramas, theater drama, and laughed way too hard at stuff that wasn't funny. It was good.

When I got home I realized I ached all over and didn't feel that great. People were going to reconvene that evening at Brandon's but I layed down for a couple hours, and woke up feeling warm. I had a low grade fever and I decided I had better pass and rest up since Colin's party was the next day.
I went to bed early and felt fine the next day....weird.
Mom and I went to Portland for a dr's appointment and came home to get ready for the soiree. Which was absolutely FABULOUS.
Jess was there, and all my boys of summer.
It was seriously such a great time. My parents went too and we all had an amazing time. I love all of those people.


My rents left a little early, and the rest of us snuggled in the living room warming up and telling crazy stories of our ends of college. It was so perfect.
I got home at like 11, uploaded my pictures, and went to bed.
Before long, I felt muscle twinges start in my legs, and I got cold. I snuggled deeper under the blankets, trying to will what I knew was coming, away. but it didn't work. My teeth began chattering and my body shook to the point where all my muscles were contracting. I tried to straighten my legs or curl up into fetal position, but I couldn't stop the pain of my hip joints shaking and grinding together. It hurt. I tried for a few minutes more to get the feeling to go away, but it was more than being cold, and I knew it.
I reached for my treo above my head and dialed my dad's cell phone that I knew was by his bed.
Soon my parents came down and got me a heating pad and eventually the chills subsided and I was able to fall asleep. But we all knew something was going on, and my dad stayed by my bed for at least an hour (I think he actually kept checking to see if I was breathing. It was scary shit)

In the morning, mom and I went to the lab to get blood cultures because usually that means a line infection, although, I usually would get a high fever during or after the chills and there was none, so we were a bit confused. It was a task trying to get blood, because for some reason my line wouldn't draw and my veins just suck. We went to Denny's to escape everything and eat really crappy food that was SO GOOD. I am now in love with their hash browns!
The day went on, and again I went to bed (after watching Breakfast at Tiffany's- it IS a good movie)

Saturday we were supposed to go to CT to get Maisy from camp, and for my cousin's grad party but because we didn't have the lab results back yet and I still wasn't feeling up to par, we decided it would really be a good idea to just stay home (I have good instincts by now and sometimes you need to go with your gut) So that day, dad went, and mom and I stayed home and did house things.
That night, after an amazing meal of stuffing myself with all the chinese food I could eat, I got hooked up and as I was surfing myspace I felt my legs get twingey. Nooooo.....
Sure enough, in the time it took me to put up an angry away message and get in bed the chills had fully errupted again. I tried to relax, but we decided we had to do something, so we quickly tapered my TPN and unhooked me and by then, I was able to relax but my hips and muscles still hurt to the point where I could barely walk.
From 11-2 that night, mom and I sat in the ER. We read all the magazines in the place, ate sherbet and I had more blood cultures and a chest X-ray before we went home. By this point we just wanted answers.

We got a phone call the next day that the second set of cultures had come back positive and we needed to go back to the hospital. Finally. At least we knew!
I got admitted and sent upstairs (after the triage guy thought my name was Nancy...psh...and I lied about my husband Tom...come on now)
I got hooked up to fluid, since I was also severely dehydrated from not getting TPN and my bloodwork was all off and some antibiotics.
Colin is the best BFF I could ever have, and since we were supposed to hang out that day before he went back to CT, as soon as I was settled in he came bearing iced lattes.

I was in the hospital for 2 days before we got back my labs got back and we had been told what antibiotics would work for the infection. I watched way too much MTV and actually got a good portion of the way through Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, so I'll be set when the movie comes out! But I have concluded, the worst thing in the world is to be in the hospital when you feel OK!!!!! Even going to the cafe with Starbucks was rained on since my vintage IV pump had a battery life of .2 seconds!

BUT now I'm home on IV antibiotics once again, and hopefully that will take care of things. I start work on Monday! Excited.

So for now I am going to drink tea and read more HP! There's a week in the life... see what happens when I go like A DAY without writing!?