2017 in Review

Good morning!

I could be sleeping in right now but it’s the last day of 2017 and I don’t want to waste it!

A lot of people are saying 2017 was a garbage fire and while some of that may be true, I think most of the negativity is seeping over from a decision our country made in 2016.  Regardless of that, 2017 was good to us, and I’m not here to talk about the negativity.  I’m here to talk about the AWESOME things that happened in 2017, and you know what that means.  A COUNTDOWN!  Because… say it with me now: “I love bulleted lists!”

Here we go!

• In February, we went to Nevada, for the annual dinner for Nevada Big Horns Unlimited.  It’s a tradition that is a big part of Owen’s family, and I got to go and be a part of it with his whole family.  Maybe after a couple more years I can even explain it to people when I tell them we’re going!
  
  
  
• WE MOVED! After 5 years living together and two different studios, we FINALLY were able to snag a one bedroom, AND it’s on the first floor, which is essential for safety, when the fire alarm goes off here all the time.  We’ve never been on the first floor, and that alone has been life changing.  Nevermind the fact we now have a bedroom, a couch, closets, high ceilings.  It really is beginning to feel like home, and not a dorm room furnished with the most minimal budget furniture we can find!

• We had the opportunity to represent the Mountain States region at their annual meeting, and I got to visit Salt Lake City for the first time!  Having been involved in the genetics community, always representing New England, it was a little weird to be telling people we are in Colorado now, but it was great to see some familiar faces, meet new people, and know we still have a set at the genetics table!

• After several attempts, and not being able to make it work I finally had the chance to speak at the Youth Leadership Forum (YLF) in Kansas!  I had dinner with one of my good friends from my MCH life, and was reminded the speaking to youth is really one of my all time favorite things in the world to do. Being able to share my story, and help youth understand what it really takes to create a life they love, and be independent to the degree they are able just gives me that surge of energy, that buzz of…. “I think this is my passion!”  Thanks Kansas! 

• I started “going to” therapy consistently.  Yup. We’re going to talk about Mental Health.  Ready?  I have gone to therapy off and on since I lived in Maine. As many of you know, I am a verbal processor, and having someone who just lets me blabber, who asks questions and challenges my thinking is just helpful.  When I was in Boston, I had the only therapist that ever took my insurance, and it was basically less helpful than going to coffee with a friend.  Every time I went, we literally had the same conversation… but hey, it was FREE. When I moved to Denver, I found a wonderful person who was also a life coach, AND $130 A VISIT. Plus the Uber to get there, and the time off I had to take from work.  Then I took the plunge and signed up for TalkSpace, and it has been one of the best decisions I made.  I still pay out of pocket, but I have access to my therapist 24/7 (who I LOVE) and it’s all virtual.  I don’t have to schedule appointments or figure out how to get there.  I send her messages while I’m drinking coffee in the morning, or if I have after a bad meeting at work.  She has helped me set goals, and begin to process some of the things we experienced while living in Boston (and even before then).  For so long we were both in survival mode, most of our feelings sort of got pushed aside as we just had to get through the day, the week, that degree.  Now that we are settled, its time to practice some self care and really check in with where we are at and how we can be our best selves moving forward!  Virtual therapy may not be the best model for everyone, but it is a perfect fit for me, and I’m so glad I took the plunge!
  
  
  
• I got a new scooter!  As you all remember, this summer brought some literal bumps in the road as my old reliable scooter Barbie took her last scooter breath.   I was absolutely stunned as my community came together and I was able to raise enough money for a new scooter in less than two days.  I am SO grateful for all the people who love and support us on our journey and helped me to maintain my independence for the rest of 2017!

• We went to CONCERTS!  When we were long distance, Zac Brown Band was our soundtrack, and although they came to Boston a couple times when we were there, we just couldn’t make it work to see them.  This time, we weren’t about to pass it up, and seeing them at Coors Field (while its not Fenway) was incredible!  AND THEN THERE WAS KESHA. Seeing Kesha was not only fun, it was cathartic and healing.  I know that sounds silly, but both Kesha and I have been through a lot in the last few years.  Kesha was the first CD I blasted in my car in 2010, she was my going out anthem, the song that played when I got driven to my hotel in Vegas and said goodbye to Owen along with “You have my number, use it or don’t!”  The crowd at this show was one full of love and acceptance.  Yea, she got political and we needed it.  She only sang for an hour but it was the best night we had in a long time.  I sang, I cried, I let my hair down, and there was glitter, so much glitter. 

• In September, my family came to visit, and I realized that it was the first time since I’ve lived in another state that both my mom and dad, and my sister have come to visit at the same time, and it was AWESOME.  They were able to sty with us since we have a bigger apartment now, and we did so much!  We brunched, we went to Taste of Colorado, I got to take my dad to the Grateful Dead bar by our house (which I’m pretty sure is now one of my favorite memories of all time), and we went wedding dress shopping!  I know we all went, feeling vaguely pessimistic, since dress shopping for me tends to be challenging, but the angels at Luv Bridal were incredible, and made it the best experience.  I didn’t expect to find a dress on my first trip, but I did, and I was actually sad when it was over!  We also went to the butterfly pavilion, which was so special, since butterflies are a symbol of the Nana, and it was like she was right there with us. Then we surprised my family by taking them to dinner at our future wedding venue.  It was so exciting to be able to share Denver with them, and celebrate how far we have come!  

• THE WEDDING STUFF!  Last year at this time, we had just gotten engaged, and I was absolutely overwhelmed at what had to go into having a wedding.  I thought we could never do it, and people kept asking if we had a date or a venue and I already felt like we were behind.  Then we took some time, thought about what we wanted, enjoyed looking at venues and now a year later, it’s really happening.  I have a dress, we have our venue, DJ, photographer, and it’s really going to be what we want it to be!  We are SO excited to have all the people we love in one room, it’s going to be so incredible.  280 days and counting! 

• Last but certainly not least, in the last couple weeks of 2017, Owen GOT A JOB!! Since moving to Denver he was worked endlessly, applying and networking to land a consistent opportunity that was a good fit, and something he could get to easily.  Well, his hard work paid off, and he is now a marketing research recruiter, and works just a few blocks from our apartment (and my office).  In addition to this huge accomplishment, in 2017 he worked at the elections division again and really found his niche in dog sitting which has been SO FUN!  He has such a knack with the canine crowd, and it has been great, spending time with different kinds of doggos,  so we can practice before adding our own furry friend to our home (I mean.. .we all know we’re going to eventually).  If you need a dog sitter in the Denver area, find Owen on Rover!  

So there you have it!  I thought it would be tough to make a list of 10 things, but really it was hard ONLY picking 10!  Cheers to all of you who supported us, and helped to make 2017 so incredible, I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store.  May the new year bring you all health, and happiness!  Be safe, have fun, and make the most of this last night of 2017.  

The Scooter That Love Bought

Last month I presented at a youth leadership conference.  It has been a long time since I have presented to young people, who have hope, ambition and dreams for the future.

I sort of had to sand the edges of my recent presentations since I have mostly been presenting to providers, or older students who are pretty aware of how broken our system is, in all the ways.

In this presentation, I spoke about the importance of asking for help, and identifying the supports you need to be successful.  It was also around this time, I remembered one thing I am really bad at:  asking for help.   Over the years, and through my own transitions, going to college, living in Boston, moving to Denver,  it seems I have waited until the last minute to speak up and say I can’t do it on my own.  Or it is when my body simply shuts down to say “Yea, this is too much, you need to bring in some back up."

When I returned from this conference full of energized youth, it was becoming clear that my Scooter (who we all know fondly as Barbie) was not doing well.  She could not go a block without her battery dipping frighteningly low, and she was making sounds that I just knew were not good.  I had bought a new charger, hoping that would buy me some time, but I knew she was at the end of her scooter life.

I had a technician come out and evaluate the situation.  Her prognosis was not good.  They don’t sell just a motor, and for what it would have cost me to have her repaired, would be more than a new scooter.  Barbie had taken her last scooter breath.  All in all, she served me well.  For the amount that I use her, it really was amazing that she lasted as long as she did.  The model of scooter I typically get, for portability and for my size, is really not meant for daily commuting and city adventures in all seasons.  I always tell people, “She was meant for malls and airports.”

So here I was, without a scooter.  While I like to tell myself that having a scooter makes my life easier, the reality is, I need it.  The weeks without one were a strong reminder of this.  After a few days of just walking within our one block radius, my whole body was in pain. 

It was also a reminder that there are times where you simply NEED to ask for help. 

My colleagues at work were absolutely amazing, and I did not have to Uber the two blocks to work the entire time I was scooterless.

When I found out I needed a new scooter, my heart sank.  I knew that was probably going to be the case, but it wasn’t something I was prepared for.  We are trying to save for our wedding, and I am just beginning to make a dent in some of my ever lingering medical and student debt.  This was not good news.   Not knowing how long it would take me to save for a new scooter, and needing to get back to my regular work schedule, I decided to take another leap of faith and ask for help.

When I was much younger, I witnessed the magic that can happen when a community comes together to help someone in a time of need.  While times have changed, and the form in which community fundraisers occur has changed, I figured I would put it out to the universe.

I created a Go Fund Me page, and explained the importance of getting a new scooter.  How she helps me get safely to work every day, and gives me the independence I need to be active in the amazing city we live in.  Without a scooter, I am limited in both my social, and professional life.

Let it be known, I felt a little weird doing this.  I felt like I should be able to buy a new scooter.  That if I made the choice to pay out of pocket, I should always be able to do so.  I should simply forego our plans of having a wedding, and address our immediate needs, that we unfortunately have to deal with, when others our age may not have to.  But I did it.

And there are NOT words, for what I felt when in just over 24 hours I had raised enough for a NEW SCOOTER!  Friends, family, people I didn’t even know, donated all amounts so that I could get my independence back.  People donated in honor of people they had lost, people left notes of encouragement that they wanted to see me back in action.

I fought back tears at work, as I got notified of donations of $100, $300…. People who had needs and families of their own.  I still can’t believe it.

Today I took the new scooter on her maiden voyage to spend time with my best friend!  Having the freedom to be able to come, and go, and just get a cup of coffee brought me so much joy after two weeks of feeling stuck within the small area my little legs could take me!

Thanks to the gratitude of everyone who pitched in, I was even able to get a new model that might last me a little longer and be a little safer than the model that Barbie was! 

I am so excited for new adventures, and I promise I will name her soon, but in the meantime, please accept this as a HUGE universal thank you.  As the state of our country feels bleak, and hopeless, I have been reminded there IS good in the world, and LOVE CAN WIN.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

A Night in Room 506

Things have really been picking up for us!  Owen is doing an internship, supporting with fundraising, and social media.   In addition to my “Day job,” which is undergoing a serious transformation because the whole organization is restructuring (a good thing), Face Forward is in full swing, and it looks like we are going to have an amazing turn out this year!!

Because of all of this, we have had some days where we had an obscene amount of things to accomplish.  One day, a couple of weeks ago, I had to bounce from meeting to meeting, and then switch gears for an event, and then a concert that Owen and I were going to, at House of Blues.

I must say, I was really proud of how this day went.  It was the first time in a long time, I have had to be in my multiple roles in one day, and I was able to feel fully present at every single piece of the day.  Then, at a certain point, I made one last phone call, and made the decision it was time to put it away.  Owen and I had the opportunity to debrief a little and unwind at the open house, I wisely remembered to actually print our tickets for the concert, and we took the train down to Fenway.

Come to find out, the concert started an hour after I thought it did, so we actually had even more time, but it worked out.  We had awesome “ADA” seating, high up, with a private bar, and a great view.  We weren’t next to the stage this time, which worked out because parts of the concert were SUPER loud (or I’m just old.  Those kids and their damn rock and roll!)

It was a fun night.  I found myself doing a lot of “Oooooh! I remember this song!  I didn’t know they sang this!”  And enjoying a ton of high school nostalgia, and basking in chart toppers that graced the ORIGINAL Now Album (yes, kids, BEFORE there was even a number in the title… I think they’re up to 51 now?)

 

After the show, we both felt remarkably energized, and I was starving.  Usually, when I’m going to a show, I like to get dinner before hand, and transition a little better than bolting from a work event, but we had done it, and now we wanted food.  No big deal I figured, these crazy kids go out all the time and now the T is open late!  Let’s do it!  (Side note- we did not even have a drink during the concert, all of these decisions were made at full mental capacity…. Just saying)

We settled into one of our favorite places, Boston Beerworks, and enjoyed sandwiches and their epic sour cream and chive fries, before heading back towards the B line to go home. 

We arrived at the elevator in Kenmore Square and hit the button.  It didn’t light up.  We hit it again.  And again.  Nothing.  Both of our phones were dead at this point, so I asked a kid nearby what time it was, and he informed me it was 12:38.

“I don’t get it.  It’s open later, isn’t it?”

Then we realized the gate to the stairs leading to the train was also closed and locked.  Oh no.

Of course, at this point, I also had my old/new completely NOT portable scooter, so there went any idea of ubering, and we also had NO phones to even complete such a task.

The funny thing is, a couple of years ago this probably would have ruined our night, caused panic attacks and we would’ve made some foolish decision like walking the two miles home because “it’s not that far.”  But at this point in the game, we just looked at each other, laughed and went “What the hell are we supposed to do?”

Luckily, we were very centrally located.  We were still near all the bars of Fenway, there were other people around, and there was a hotel right across the street.

“There’s a bus that stops here.  We can ask the hotel where it goes, at least.  There’s that.”

Without having much other choice we headed into the (ritzy, historical) Hotel Commonwealth to beg for a brief lesson in MBTA since we have only taken a bus once in the 2 years we have lived here.  Luckily, we did discover that the hotel was accessible, the woman was pleasant, AND it smelled delicious.

She looked up the bus schedule and told us that there was a bus arriving in 6 minutes, which would eventually end up a couple blocks from our house!  Perfect.  So we went back outside and waited.

Soon a bus pulled up, far away from the curb, and we watched anxiously as the driver turned off the ignition…. Put his coat on…. Shut the doors to the bus…. And left.

The bus was silent, and dark. The street was dark, and it was almost 2 a.m. at this point.  

We looked at each other.

After thinking for a minute we concluded we had two options.  “Well… the hotel is right there, so let’s see if they can call us an accessible cab, and we can actually get home.   Or, I mean, I guess we could just see if they have a room.”

Here we were, two miles from our home, both having to work in the morning, completely stranded, with no way to get in touch with anyone.  Planning FAIL.

We headed back into the hotel and waited sheepishly while the woman at the front desk finished with the phone call she was making.  Once again she was super kind to us, and called about a wheelchair accessible cab for us, before even asking if we wanted to stay, which I thought was great. 

Unfortunately, the accessible cab would’ve taken “around a 2 hour wait.”  TWO HOURS. On a Thursday night at 2 a.m.  What?  I also had this terrible image of an “accessible cab,” arriving, at 4 a.m. and not actually being what we needed, and we would’ve had sat there for 2 hours, when we could have been, oh you know, sleeping.

Had it been early, we probably would’ve challenged our city and seen what arrived, but at this point I just wanted a bed.

“Ok then, do you have a room?”

“We have one room left actually, with 2 beds, but it’s not accessible, is that going to be a problem?”

No, Ma’am.  The problem has already occurred.  The problem would be sleeping in Kenmore Square, since we apparently can’t read fine print on new transportation policy.

A few minutes later we were checking into a GORGEOUS, historical, non- ADA room at the Hotel Commonwealth.  Truth be told, the “lack” of accessibility really didn’t matter, because the room was huge. 

The other funny thing, of course, cause… oh hey universe, you so funny.  The room was #506.  Our apartment number?  506.

Almost home… so close, but SO FAR!

Without having toothbrushes or any other clothes but those on our back, we set the alarm clock on the bedside Kindle Fire, and climbed into the cloud of an Eloise style bed, and passed out.

And slept like a dream.  When the sun was up, we turned around, checked out of our room, and headed home to begin the day.

I’m considering a business investment, because the hotel got a stellar review.

Our solution?  Crazy? perhaps.  Impulsive?  Maybe.  But we were able to make it happen, it meant that we got home safely, and were able to take care of ourselves to be able to be productive the next day.

Lesson learned.  No regrets.

Healthcare, Hotels, and Horse Racing...

Well.  I’m done with everything!!! And by everything, I mean,  I’m not taking classes for a couple of months.  I’m JUST working, and planning a summer conference!  Hooray!

Before I jump back into real time, of all that’s been going on, which frankly, you don’t want to hear about, or is just me figuring out how to have “down time.”  Mostly me playing Farm Hero Saga, and talking about all the things I feel like I SHOULD be doing, then realizing the world won’t end if I don’t do them.  It’s thrilling.

So let’s jump back to Mid-May, when Owen and I were going to present at a conference in Baltimore.  We were moderately excited for the quick trip, and made a point to stay the extra night to make it a mini get away, since it’s a lot for us just to fly somewhere for one night (or in and out the same day. ugh.)

As fate would have it, Scootie took her last scooter breath the DAY before we were supposed to leave.  This whole process will be another blog post, but basically, as I was heading to work, she stalled in the middle of the road (she had struggles with intersections), I pushed her the four blocks home and then even after giving her a full charge, there was just nothing.  A day we all knew was coming, but OF COURSE it would happen before we needed to get on a plane.

Traveling with AND without a scooter is a blessed curse.  Traveling WITH a scooter, is easier for me.  Well, easier for my legs.  We can zip through airports, explore cities with less limitation, and it doubles as a luggage carrier.  But it also means we need to hunt for accessible cabs, be more aware of curbs, elevators, etc, and just, have a giant motorized beast to account for.

Without a scooter, I can jump into cabs, sit anywhere in a restaurant, dart through crowds with reckless abandon.  but that’s about where the joy ends.  When I don’t have a scooter, I realize how much difficulty I really have getting around.  My legs are TEENY.  And I move slow, and everything is high, and I get tired.

but alas, there was no choice, and we left for Baltimore with no scootie (may she R.I.P.)

Of course, as our “vacation” luck would have it, the weather was terrible, and upon check in we elected to do my favorite travel activity, the “Post check in nap.”  This serves many purposes!  Not only to rest up before the events of the evening, but to properly assess the quality of the bed and compare it to other places of hospitality that may be superior.

I had stayed at this hotel before, and as soon as we checked in, I remembered all the not so wonderful things about it- how I could hear everything the family did and said in the room next to me, and how I had to call the front desk every time I wanted my thermostat adjusted because I couldn’t reach it myself.  

So back in the moment- we take our nap (awesome, btw).  And as we are waking up we hear what sounds like someone DESTROYING the ice machine. I honestly thought we were going to exit our room to a hallway of ice, since it was right next to our room.  Soon, we realized the people in the room next to us- courtesy of the paper thin walls, were indeed filling a COOLER with ice, for shenanigans that were to occur that evening.  We thought nothing of it at the time.

Being pretty hungry at this point we began perusing Yelp to find somewhere to eat dinner, since we had already eaten at the affordable restaurant in the hotel.  Within minutes, Owen came across a place called MAISY’S!  So duh.  We had to go there!!!

We knew it would be an adventure, getting anywhere without Scootie, but I refused to spend the night sitting in the hotel when the day had turned out to be pretty nice, and we had designated this a weekend of recreation, in addition to the conference.

What we learned was that- if you are someone who values your time and and energy- do NOT use Google maps.  for the love of Steve Jobs, just use Mapquest.  We killed about an hour trudging in the wrong direction before we realized, Maisy’s was actually like four blocks, a straight shot from our hotel.  Up a hill, of course.

So we trudged.  There were a couple of times that I began to doubt myself and thought “Why don’t we just swing in to Subway… cause it’s right here.”  But we didn’t.  On this journey to Maisy’s, I also realized a couple of things, some of which will be saved for another blog.   The biggest was that- I NEED scootie.   I often over-estimate my own ability, and since I went so long without using any mobility equipment but my car when I graduated college, I had sort of convinced myself that it was a luxury- that it simply increased safety, and saved time.

After a much needed rest and dinner at Maisy’s, we trekked back to the hotel, for what we THOUGHT would be a restful evening.

We settled in for the night and after laughing to the point of tears at the ridiculous billionaires on House Hunters International:

Home Buyer: *sigh* I just don’t know if I want to have to pay a staff.  Is it really Spanish enough?

Owen:  Spanish ENOUGH is a must have? I just want to use the bathroom without having to crawl!!

...if you can’t laugh about it, just go home.  now.

Even though the party was over for us, the cooler filling boys next door were just getting started.

Mind you- I do not consider myself a prude.  I have had my Vegas nights, and I like a night of cocktails as much as the next girl.  But I was over it, come 2:30 a.m.  I have never in my life called the front desk in the middle of the night before, but I guess there is a first time for everything.

Thanks to the paper thin walls, we heard everything from endless drunken obscenities, to an actual beer inventory being taken, to slamming into walls and talking about doing illegal substances.  It was when there was an actual attempt to come into our room thinking it was someone else’s that I lost my cool.

I also was exhausted and we both had to present the next day.  I called the front desk and explained we were not feeling safe, and I had never in my life experienced such disrespectful debauchery.   HOOLIGANS.

I was promised that security would address it, they never came, and we somehow fell asleep to Iggy Azalea’s Fancy on loop.

Needless to say, the next morning, when it was ONCE AGAIN put on loop at 8 a.m. sharp, I was already feeling less than enthused about sitting in a conference all day.  I have done this long enough however, where I just went through the motions and inhaled all the caffeinated beverages necessary to put on a good show.

Suffice to say this conference, was one that just left me shaking my head and wanting to quit everything.  It was disorganized from beginning to end (I still am not done getting all my paperwork in to get reimbursed…), and was one of those times where we just left going, “some people will never get it.”  I felt offended as a presenter when my words were twisted and others were put in my mouth, supplementing answers the audience WANTED to hear, versus the reality that needs to be spoken.

It was just rough.

But it also went hand in hand with a lot of the rough realizations I’ve had recently, that I am done reading the script.  I am done saying the words of others, and preaching the good intentions of all these “programs,” and “resources.”  If I am going to stay in any of this murky health care nonsense, it is going to be to speak the truth.  My truth, and the truths of others, even if it’s not pretty, and from what I’m gathering…. a lot of people and organizations are not ready for that.

So be it.

But now I was fired up.  I may not be good at the script anymore, but you know what I am good at? HOTELS.

So I marched my little angry advocate self down to the front desk in my little coral sundress, and kindly explained how I am not sure what horse racing shenanigans are going on, but what we experienced the previous evening was absolutely unacceptable.

The woman nodded, and knew exactly who I was talking about, as apparently they had already been rowdy when they checked in.  She confirmed they were not checking out that evening, which happened to be the evening that we had dubbed as “vacation,” and after the day we had, after getting only 2 hours sleep, I refused to let it be a repeat of the night before.

“Then we need to move, or we’re leaving.”

Within moments I was investigating a hospitality suite on the club floor.  “I’m pretty sure this will do,” I said, trying to hide my giddiness that it was a room about 3 times the size of our apartment with a full kitchen and gorgeous dining room table.   “However, we had an ADA room, so let me confirm that this will work for both of us.”  And I had Owen come and check it out, SINCE, in order to be provided with proper customer service and a pleasant lodging experience, we had to sacrifice our ADA accommodations (which were far from luxurious, but helpful).  Since we were exhausted, and only there for one night, we dubbed it workable and moved in.

That night was much better.  We had a sushi dinner and debriefed about the day’s events, and just let ourselves relax.   The bed was comfortable, and we had a great breakfast before flying back to our own little Element in the city.

but there was one other piece that cannot go unmentioned.  As you all know, it is sort of a theme in this blog, and in my life when the universe just provides irony that makes us go “haha…. very funny.”   And I’ve grown to appreciate it, and Owen recognizes it pretty frequently as well.

In addition to our swank suite we achieved, we also were granted access to the Sheraton Club!  A top secret hide away that you build up so much in your head, but is really an over air conditioned lounge with a buffet with fruit and some chicken dip.   But there was free bottled water, and a view of the harbor.

The reason for all the Baltimore Shenanigans, for those who may not know, was that the “Preakness” was also that weekend, which is the 2nd race of the triple crown.  I have absolutely no affinity for horse racing, nor have I ever attended or paid attention to any sort of derby.

But as we were snacking, and enjoying the harbor view in our “exclusive” Club Room, that we had achieved through a mission of advocacy, I overheard that one of the horses was named “Social Inclusion.”

We looked at each other and just shook our heads and laughed.  It was the perfect way to end the weekend.  Owen and Mal, with a view of the harbor, rooting for Social Inclusion.

I couldn’t have written a better punch line myself!

(for the record… it did not win).