Mallory Cyr, MPH

Today, I graduated.  I graduated with my Master’s Degree in public health from Boston University.  Not “regular” graduated, but graduated from overpriced extra college, from one of the top Public Health schools in the country.

While I joke that it was not challenging, because academically, a lot of the content I already was familiar with because of my national MCH role, it actually was pretty tough at times.  Can you do a multi linear regression? Ok.

But for me it was about so much more than a few biostats equations.  I struggled a lot with WHY I was doing this, which many of you know.  Last weekend, a dear friend and colleague of mine, a “title V mom,” posted on Facebook about how much it meant to her to see other families share the milestones of their young people because it was an image of hope, and of what could be possible for her child, and for others.

And all of a sudden I remembered why I got myself into this situation in the first place.  It is not about me. (Really, I swear).

Today, at graduation, our speaker, Monica Bharel, the Public Health Commissioner, for the Massachusetts Department of Public Health, said, “Choose courage, Choose hope.  Choose selflessness.” And had us think about “What are you passionate about?”  (My answer was, “Nothing. I shouldn’t be here.”)  then helped us define that by asking “What makes you angry?”  ….and the list flowed in my brain.

I remembered.  I did this, to show the potential of young people no matter their limitations.  Let the façade fall aside, it SUCKED so hard sometimes.  I cried, I hated it. I questioned my choices on many, many occasions. I thought about quitting and just moving home.  I thought about “What would happen if I went home and just stopped replying to e-mails.”  But then… I would get a message from one of “my young people.”  One of the selected for Dumbledore’s Army, simply asking about how to succeed in a class in which the teacher was not accommodating, or wondering what to do after graduation because they had real hopes and dreams that others did not support.  And I remembered.

 

I am here, and I did this, WE did this, to show it’s POSSIBLE.  With love, strength, support, work, and determination.  It can be done. I also want to mention.  During the time I was in school, Owen and I had no formal assistance.  We had no PCA’s, no nursing help.  We worked multiple jobs, and truly did this independently (except for the endless love and support from our networks and friends and families)

I want the lessons that we learned to serve as a beacon, a tool, an “inspiration,” to show others what can be possible for them, or their children.  What makes me mad?  When those amazing people are told they can’t, or even just made to think they can’t. And you know what else I realized, sitting there today?   The only person who EVER told me I can’t…. was me.  Now… I don’t believe that either.  Cause I DID IT.

The final part of my graduation ceremony, our incredible associate dean, asked us to accept the charge of being world changing MPH’ers.  I closed my eyes, and thought about if I really, truly was ready to accept the challenge.  He asked us, “Do you promise to use your new passion, energy, and knowledge to create a healthier world?”   And we all looked at each other and muttered “I will.”  He looked at the faculty and said, “They don’t believe you. No… actually. We KNOW you will, but we need you to know you will.”

I stood quietly, and the tears came.  For the past three years I have asked myself this same question.  Why me?  Can I?  Should I?  Do I make a difference? Do I want to make a difference?

Moments before I marched into the arena, my best friend, and counterpart, just beginning the journey towards her MPH, wrote on my Facebook newsfeed, “You changed my life Mal.  #forgood.”  And I knew, I was ready to accept the charge.  We all shouted and cheered.  “I will!!!!!”

Was this my “dream?” No… not really.  But life is what happens when you are making other plans, and I believe in the universe, and that I was brought here for a reason.  I am working to make sure that my dreams align with what the universe has in store for me, and THAT is my passion.  That is my charge.  As I move forward with my incredibly hard earned MPH, I hope ALL young people have the strength and courage to think about what makes them want to get up in the morning, that they can laugh when things get tough, or know that they are loved, and valued and wanted no matter what they do.

Just because my path is not mentioned in a speech does not make it less important.  It is what has brought me here today.

So for all of you, who believed in me, and who believe in your own children no matter how terrified you may be for them to take the Next Step, this degree is for you.  It truly, truly is. 

Thank you.  I love you all.  Now let’s get this MPH Party started.

-Mallory H. Cyr, MPH

I leave you with this:

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
but I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm all right song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

You were bound to Fly Away

The song in Starbucks right now, “You were bound to fly away…”

I can’t write this stuff.

Except that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  So indulge me.

There is no more denying it.  Fall is HERE.  You know how I know?

PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE.

Also, I’m wearing my Ralph Lauren fleece, because it’s cold.  And school. 

Which brings me here right now. 

This semester I’m taking a class at the College of Communications at BU, which I’m so excited for.  I get to write again and be creative, and think about other things besides how sad and unhealthy the world is.

Unfortunately, this class begins at 9:00 a.m., which for anyone who lives in Boston, knows is just ridiculous to even try to be anywhere for which is why most people just sleep at their offices (or get there at like 5….) or roll in around 10:30 when all the BU students are already where they need to be, and the B line becomes normal again.

Anyway-  the Comm School is 1.8 miles from my house… it takes me exactly 30 minutes to get to work which is downtown, at the very last stop of the train, so why would it take LONGER to get 4 four stops?  BECAUSE THE B LINE.

But also- because Scooter.  So whereas an average BU Basic would be able to squeeze in any old spot on the  train so they have to force the doors close- I don’t have such a luxury.  Last week, I left my house around 8:00… thinking I might even have time to grab a coffee, and THREE TRAINS LATER, I am on my scooter, in the middle of hoards of people, not even in the parking spot, or able to reach the button to tell the driver when I need to get off.  Total anarchy. I honestly went all 2 years ago and almost started weeping.  But whatever. #Blineproblems.  We’ll get there.

I’m also moderately determined to not need to have the “accommodations talk” with my new professor.  I’m not afraid to talk to her, and I’m no longer afraid to ask for help, but I don’t want to play the “scooter card.” I’m sure it will come up, and honestly that’s what I want to do my story on for her class- about what it’s like for a non-walking individual to get around this god forsaken city, and how it is NOT the fault of MBTA, but the general public who think that standing in your way staring at you while you’re trying to get on the train is actually going to make the ramp come down. 

I just want to show that I got this… I’ve lived here for 2 years, and go to work on the B line every day.  If I have to leave the house at 7:30 every Wednesday then gross, but I just need to put on my big girl journalism panties and roll with it.

But for now… here I am.  Drinking a latte, writing on my sparkly MacBook, remembering who I am, and what I’m passionate about, in a CITY.  Full of opportunity and people who want me to succeed.

Seven years ago, the beginning of September, I sat in a coffee shop in the small town of Farmington, with a journal, and tried to convince myself it was the same thing.  It wasn’t, and I knew it… but it was a step in the journey.  And here I am.

There is so so much more to write about, as I venture into this fall, feeling like the best Me I have ever been, but I just had to capture this moment and share it.  For all of my young college almost graduates who are cranking on your last year, just remember- the dream is out there.  You just gotta find it… and it may not be what others think it is.  Keep on, keeping on.

Love you all. 

M.

Teaser Blog

There is SO much to write about, and it will happen.  I haven't even really been putting it off, i've just actually been doing some grown up prioritizing and have had SO much going on.

Last week I had 3 assignments due the same day, and I have ONE MORE assignment before the academic year is over for me.
 My BUSPH class ended like 3 weeks ago, and my fellowship is STILL happening until June 13.  Ri. Diculous.  I am so done, I can't even make werds anymore.  And I've had other random stuff come up, like writing things for other people, which is remarkably more challenging than just rambling in my safe little corner of the cyber-verse

I promise though, lots to come, and I will have lots to write this SUMMER. Since it's the first time in 2 years I will not be taking classes!!!!

So hang tight, and be sure to come back soon.   We went to Baltimore and back, had some scooter adventures, went to BOSTON CALLING, which was epic upon epic.

and apparently I have a birthday soon.  This silly entry is basically serving as a reminder to myself to write about all these things, and not forget anything!


CRAZY.

All right.  Thanks all for dealing with my madness!   So. close. to the end!!!!!

Brunch, Baseball and Beauty

This past week ended up being pretty epic! It was super busy but also relaxing, enjoyable and the perfect way to kick off spring in Boston!

Sunday was Easter, and as much as I waffled with going back to Maine to spend it with my family, we had just had a weekend in New Hampshire, and frankly, taking the train and organizing all the transportation and getting from point A to point B, is a lot of work, and sometimes counteracts the realization we might actually get from the trip.  So we made the executive decision to stay here and enjoy our own traditions, which we are still figuring out.  Holidays are odd as adults, because I’m realizing so much of our important traditions, I don’t actually believe in the context of.  Don’t get me wrong, I love any excuse to be with family and have a huge dinner, but Easter was sort of like… “well. We don’t have kids, I’m not hiding eggs, and we’re not going to church.”  What does that mean for us?

PAJAMA BRUNCH.  Clearly.

There is a place in the South End we had been trying to get reservations at for awhile now, and when we decided that we were going to be in the city for Easter Sunday, I made us a reservation at Tremont 647!  It was fun to try a new place and we went home comfortably stuffed.  I am learning my ideal religion involves the worshiping of sun and brunch.

Then we had an evening of total spontaneity (well not really, but deciding on Friday, was spontaneous for me) and ended up going to a concert at Brighton Music Hall to see an old school hipster band I liked in college, HelloGoodbye.  

I had seen the sign on my way home from class on Friday and tickets were super cheap, we had nothing that night and we figured, why not!  It ended up being really fun.  At first I was hesitant about the venue, when we were waiting outside in the cold and someone said they would “come get us,” when the doors opened, and then I turned around and saw people at the other door getting wrist bands and going inside.  Sigh.  Good thing we didn’t actually just live life sitting around waiting for people to “come get us!”  So I flagged someone down and we went inside.  The “Accessible” entrance of course totally had a mini bump to get in, and stupid me, in a rush to get inside, stuffed my iPhone in my pocket, and as soon as Scootie and I went over the bump, it fell on the ground and smashed.  Again.  Perfect way to start the night.  Then, as we entered the small venue that was general admission, with no actual seating, we tried to strategize the safest place for us to be.  Granted it wasn’t expected to be a heavy metal show or anything (Actually, it was on 4/20, and I lost count of how many times the word chill was used)  but still, we wanted to be safe.

Just when I was about to just settle in the back by the bar, a staff member came up and asked if we would like to be seated next to the stage.  They made some hipsters get up off the floor and move their stupid backpacks, then tucked us comfortably in a corner inches from the stage and put up a rope so nobody would come in contact with us.

It ended up being a fun show!  We were able to get drinks, move around how we wanted and the crowd wasn’t that unbearable!  Everyone was super nice, and it’s cool that this place is like 2 blocks from our apartment, although it’s definitely a starter venue, as the opening band pulled up in a mini van (ran over the curb) and went in the main entrance where people were waiting.  Excuse me kids, does your mommy know you’re here?

After some steamed buns and egg rolls at our favorite spot, Shang Hai Social Club we went home far later than our usual senior citizen bed time, excited to sleep in the next day because it was

MARATHON MONDAY!

And it was beautiful, and uneventful.  We watched the first couple hours of the race on TV and were amazed by the winners, and the wheelchair elite division, which just astounds me.  Then we went to …you guessed it, BRUNCH!  Because that is the wonderful thing about Marathon Monday.  There is brunch at places that typically would not be open on Monday.  We went to one of our favorite places in Coolidge Corner, where we were able to watch the race right out the window (for more of where our favorite brunch places are- check out my Yelp page here) and we talked about how amazing it is, that we are able to experience all of this, and it is just a part of our neighborhood.  This was a week of just realizing how cool it is that we LIVE here.

After brunch we met up with Team Next Step to cheer on our runners, then hung out for so

me good food and drinks, and had an awesome time just unwinding with the cool kids we’re going to be working with all summer.  Then Owen went out for another round and I came home and enjoyed some home spa goodness and reality TV since I had to go to work the next day.

It was such an incredible day, and although there was a tiny bit of trauma, retracing the path we ventured last year, and seeing footage of the finish, the day went on without a hitch and it was a true depiction of what Boston Strong really is all about.

Thursday was another big Boston milestone for us.  Our very first Red Sox game at Fenway!  And they were playing the Yankees.  A few weeks ago we went to a fundraising event for camp, and on a whim, won the tickets in the silent auction.  As soon as I saw our bid highlighted, I realized the tickets were for specific seats that were most likely not accessible.  THESE are the things you do not think about- but you learn from.  Camp was amazing and were able to arrange it so we could get (awesome) seats and still attend the game!  So we did.  And it was awesome. And FREEZING.  April is NOT warm.  I’m sorry.  I keep thinking, “YAY SPRING” but no… it was not warm.  But between hand warmers, epic layers, and a ginormous DD coffee we made due!  But… I do hope our next game it is above 40 degrees….

This weekend began the process of my spring transformation.  This time of year, I always get so antsy with EVERYTHING. I want to change my hair color, get fit, and move somewhere warm.  Ugh Spring Fever!  While I can’t necessarily do all of that, I took some baby steps to see that I feel my best powering through these last few weeks of school.  First I got my phone fixed at a random kiosk at the mall, got a watch resized that I got for Christmas and haven’t been able to wear!  Then I used a Sephora gift card that has been burning a hole in my pocket to invest in some big girl skin care products. It’s funny, because I’m realizing, even though I am so into beauty and products, I basically use free samples, and whatever is laying around (or things that are given to me, aka LUSH) to wash my face.  Now that I’m in a place to really take care of myself, I decided it was time to take the plunge.

Yesterday it was rainy and gross but I made myself leave and I got a pedicure, and made the decision to get some pre-summer highlights and a hair cut!  When I first started school, I made the big decision to try to get back to my original hair color, and it was torture, but I went a whole year without coloring my hair.  I just babied it, and got it trimmed every 6 weeks.  Now, I’m ready to brighten things up again!  It feels so good!

So with all of that- it is time to move forward!

• 2 more weeks of BU classes, and one final presentation (5 minutes, 6 slides…yikes)
• 6 more weeks of LEND- a poster presentation, and a paper

And a quick trip to Baltimore for a transition conference, where Owen and I are speaking on a panel!

There you have it! 

Spring… enough with the 40 degree weather. I’m ready for May.  Any day now….