Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Rare patient seeks doc.

I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and I need to prepare myself emotionally.  I haven’t had a GI specialist since that one time in Boston when I had to break up with one.  For those who are new here, I like to compare healthcare to dating.

I have to take an Uber, schedule a time that works for both of us, and pray it’s a good fit.  Much like men prior to the fiancé, GI Specialists don’t really know what to do with me, and much like I was during that time period, I don’t want to be fixed.

I’m strong, I’m vocal, I do things my way and this works for me.  Doctors (and most men) don’t know how to handle this.

And let me just Internet shout:

So phew.  Now can we just talk like people? I don’t want to pay for a bunch of expensive, invasive tests because YOU’RE curious.  Sure, go ahead and google me, I highly recommend it.  Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.”  Nobody does, and sharing vulnerability makes us equal.

Don’t judge my choices, my life, or reprimand me for living the way I choose- for swimming, for traveling, for enjoying a cocktail with brunch. While you’re googling, look up “dignity of risk.” 

Cause guess what? I’m living my life for me. You may be super excited because I’m “rare” and maybe you can write a paper.  One for the books. I write too.  I have letters after my name even.  So stop looking at your watch, and listen.  Learn from me.  Soon we can get the check, and I can get back in my Uber.

Then we’ll decide if we want to keep seeing each other.

Thursday, May 17, 2018


It’s definitely been awhile since I’ve dipped a toe in the beauty blogger pool, but with all of the wedding planning that's been going on (which is going to be my next post for sure!) I’ve been spoiling myself a little, hitting Sephora for the perfect lip color and treating my skin to a little extra TLC!   I plan on only doing this bride thing once, so I’m playing that card as much as possible.

Which is EXACTLY why I justified the purchase of the new glitter mask by Glam Glow!  What better time to have magic unicorn princess skin than MY WEDDING! 

Before I get started, I’ll let ya know, I have nothing to disclose.  Nobody gave me this for free, and it’s not a sponsored post, but hey Glam Glow, if you’re interested, you know where to find me.  

Let’s start with the product.  It’s easily a cult classic and was created especially for incredible insta stories.  The Glam Glow My Little Pony GravityGlow Glitter mask is available at Sephora and is available in three colors/ ponies-  

- Princess Luna Black—the powerful princess and beauty icon
- Pinkie Pie Pink—the socialite and life of the party
- Twilight Sparkle Purple—the lovable perfectionist 

For those who know me, know this was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, because, I’m a multi-faceted Gemini and ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!! 

After far too much pondering and analysis of my character traits in the aisles of Sephora, I selected Pinkie Pie, the socialite, and life of the party, because come the big day, that is what I’ll be channeling.  
Let’s rip that band aid off quick.  Yes, it’s $60. for 1.7 oz of pink glittery goop.  Yep. Weddings do weird things to me.  

But I know I’m marrying the right dude, because when I showed him my purchase, hidden in my tiny Sephora bag, he just looked at me, shrugged and said “I mean… I get it.”  

The mask comes in a cute little tub, which is in a cute little box, and you guys, IT COMES WITH GLITTERY STICKERS. Some of them might be on my phone right now… so again.  Totally justified.

The other really awesome thing, is it comes with a little spatula for applying the mask. I’ve actually used the spatula with other masks and I will never mask without my spatula again!  I believe it’s made of silicone, and is easily washable with soap and water so you can sanitarily apply your mask each time.  

The mask itself is a thick gel, but the glitter is chunky and embedded in the gel.  I’ve found a few pieces here and there but it’s nothing like the fallout of a glitter eyeshadow or the glitter your teachers hated using for crafts! You know what I mean!

As for the application, I think I’m still getting the hang of it.  the thicker you apply, the easier it is to peel off, but the longer it takes to dry.  I tend to go heavier on my T Zone and then a little less around my face and places that touch my hairline.  Basically, just SLATHER!  Really do your best to avoid eyebrows… cause we all like having eyebrows right?  Keep them suckers glitter free! 

I basically spread a thick coat of glitter goo on my face, avoiding my hairline the best I can, and settle into my favorite Bravo binge.  You can give this thing forever to dry.  Seriously.  I sat for about 30 + minutes this weekend, and there were still places that could have used more time.  Relax.  Snap.  Post an Instastory.  Use all the hashtags #Glamglow #Glittermask #GlitterandGlow.  Enjoy the masking experience, for when you are finished, your face will glow as much as the sparkly gunk on your mug! 

*1 episode of Vanderpump Rules later*

I will be honest, I have not found a lot of peel off masks I'm a fan of. I tend to have dry, somewhat sensitive skin, and most peel off masks remind me of liquid duct tape, and leave me feel angry at how long it take to peel off instead of the zen I am supposed to experience after an “at home facial.” 
NOT THIS ONE. If I didn’t have a nose, I’m pretty sure I could get it off in one piece.  If you let it dry all the way, literally, lift it up and gently peel.  It is the most satisfying, mesmerizing experience! 

The instructions say to cleanse your skin after, but I’ve splashed it with water, used a toner, and made sure I didn’t have any glittery remnants behind before applying a moisturizer, and my skin feels amaaaazing.  And I think it looks good!  Even my toughest beauty critics at work have mentioned they think the glitter mask is working!  

So what's my arbitrary made up rating? 

I give it 4 out of 5 pony stickers.

I wish I got more product for the price, and I wish it dried a little quicker.  Otherwise… I’m already deciding what pony to get next.

I’m hooked. This may be my holy grail mask, and I’m sure it will be limited edition!

So with that, let me know, have you tried it? Loved it? Hate it?

Want more beauty product reviews from me?    Tell me what’s up! 

Love you all!  Peace, love, and my little pony Glitter masks! 

Friday, March 16, 2018

How do we do it?

I originally wrote this post on Valentine's Day, but since I've been experiencing a serious case of DBS (delayed blogging syndrome) I thought it made sense, to just post it on our 7th Meetiversary.

Good morning everyone and Happy Valentine’s Day.  Or Galentine’s Day, or Singles Awareness Day!  However you choose to celebrate, I’m here for it! Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of the V-day.  Although in elementary school, I remember agonizing over which Hello Kitty/Barbie/Little Mermaid valentine would go to who, so nobody would get the wrong message. 

Then I was single and bitter for a good chunk of my life, but never missed an opportunity to go out for pink drinks with my gal pals. And now here we are.  I’ve become that person I never thought I would be.  Planning a wedding, caring about flowers, and centerpieces, and loving every minute of it.  I remember when Owen and I first started “dating,” (Disclaimer, I hate that word, because our “dates” consisted of Skype calls and trips to Vegas… I think we had been together for over a year before we saw a movie like normal people) telling my friends and family about him, and everyone was like “Mallory… I think you really like him. I’ve never seen you like this.”  My face would turn red and I would smile, and just feel true happiness, it was WEIRD. 

This month, our story was published in the newsletter for the Kansas Youth Empowerment Academy (KYEA) and we were asked to share how we met, and our advice for a happy relationship, or for young people with disabilities who are looking for love.  We shared the abridged version here, and if you recall, a few years back, I shared a more detailed version of the story of how we met.   But having this opportunity, got us thinking, that maybe I should just write an actual blog entry.  Many of you know, we have a Facebook “Fan page.”  I believe it was on our first Meetiversary, 1 year after we met, Owen had a status about meeting me, and over 100 people liked it.  I was surprised, honestly.  Yea, I had been single for a while, but man, people were that excited to see me with someone, finally? 

People were following our story because it gave them hope.  It showed them that just because they had a disability, they could have love, that they DESERVED love.  It showed parents of kids with disabilities that their kid would find someone who loved, respected them and gave them an experience that most “typically developing” adolescents have.  So we said “Heck! Why not?”  Our Facebook “fanbase” has followed us through a move to Boston, 110” of snow, a graduation, celebrating jobs, a move to Colorado, an engagement, and now THE BIG DAY! And I’ll be honest, I didn’t know that we would hit some of those milestones, but really, not because of each other, it’s just been a real adventure. 

When we were moving to Boston, it was the biggest, scariest thing, either of us had ever done, and I remember people saying to me, “AND you’re MOVING IN together!” like that was really the scariest, hardest part of what we were doing.  Never mind the fact I was going to be going to grad school while working, or we were learning to navigate a city, and access healthcare. WE WERE GOING TO BE SHARING A BATHROOM.  Granted our first studio was 500 sq. feet, and it was quite a transition, but it was mind blowing to me how people perceived relationships, and that moving in together was so scary.  We are so grateful we lived together.  There were days (most) that it was the other person that kept us going.  I wouldn’t have finished grad school if it weren’t for Owen telling me I was needed there, and I was doing this for a reason.  He gave me pep talks, reminded me to eat, and laughed with me every step of the day.

It wasn’t easy, but we learned, we grew, and we conquered- one chapter after the next.

So how?  Why are we as successful and strong as we are?   When we were brainstorming for KYEA it was tough to articulate what we have created over the last 7 years, but I’m going to attempt to share our Top 5 tips for a happy, healthy, relationship, and what made us know we wanted to go the distance.   Ready?

1.     No B.S.  Seriously.  Before O and I made it official, I had hung out with guys before, but it never went beyond being a “thing.”  They didn’t want anything serious, and nobody wanted to commit, bla bla bla.  I straight up told Owen, “If we’re long distance, I’m not leaving this as a “thing.” I don’t have time for petty bullshit and I don’t play games.” He had me at “Me either.”  And there was none.  We didn’t (and still don’t) post passive aggressive digs on Facebook, we trust each other. I know that’s easy to say, but really. TRUST. 100%

2.     Communication. This goes hand in hand with #1, and together, they make a healthy relationship.  Ta DA!  But really.  Even when I was younger, I remember all of my friends would come to me with their relationship drama, and I hear things now, and my response is always “Well, did you tell them/talk to them, etc.”  And my mind is blown at how often the answer is, “No…” or “They should know!” I don’t know about most people, but I know that I am not a mind reader.  Owen and I talk about EVERYTHING, and we did before we moved in together.  I think part of the reason we may be so good at this is because we were long distance for a year and all we could do was talk!  We asked each other get to know you questions long into the night and covered so much before we even were together in person. Owen is well aware I’m definitely an over communicator, and not only do we talk about the “big stuff,” when we have to, but we just check in pretty frequently.  How’s it going? Are we happy? Are we on the same page? When the answer is no, what do we do about it?  I don’t know, we’ve just always been able to open up with each other in a way we never good before, and that was one of the reasons we knew we wanted to do this for real. 

3.      Support each other.  No matter what.  When we moved to Boston, Owen left everything he knew so that I could go to grad school.  I know it was hard for him, probably in ways I’ll never truly understand, but he never ONCE made me feel bad that we had moved there or that I was in school. When I doubted myself, and I wanted to quit, he would make me dinner or run me a bath and say “The world needs you, you can do this.”  We still have conversations about what we wanted to do with our lives, and how the other one would be there no matter what. I have no doubt in my mind that we never would have made it through the “Boston era” if we did not have each other.  Period. 

4.     TAKE A RISK. I will never forget when Owen flew to Vegas for my birthday because he was in love with me and he didn’t know if he would ever see me again.  Like that is some rom com stuff, you know?  At the time I didn’t really even know what to do about it, because nobody had ever made me a priority like that or been so honest.  But it CAN happen and I continue to tell people “If someone loves you, they will find a way.”  Don’t waste your time on people who can’t make you a priority, because there is someone out there who will! It was scary for me to say “Yes, let’s do this,” that night in Vegas.  Truth be told, I had never had a serious relationship before Owen.  Sure, there were guys I talked to, and it was fine, but I always knew going into it, it would never be more than a “thing,” and it wasn’t what I wanted for the rest of my life.  This was different.  Owen was everything I didn’t know I wanted. 
I’m not going to lie, we both talked a lot about the disability piece as well.  I had always said I didn’t want to be with someone who had a disability, because I had enough of my own "stuff" to deal with.  What ended up happening was we found someone whose “stuff” aligned with our own, and understood each other on a level, that nobody else would.  Don’t be afraid to take a chance, and take a step outside of your comfort zone. You deserve someone who gets you and loves you on ALL levels.

5.     At the end of the day, all you can do is laugh. 
When I first met Owen, before we even began dating officially, I remember he made me laugh.  Like really, genuinely, laugh, not like “I’m laughing because you want me to think you’re funny.”  I actually remember thinking “Huh… usually I’m the funny one… this is kind of nice.” When we would meet up in Vegas, we would walk the strip and talk and laugh.  I always tell people; Owen makes me laugh in the kind of way where you remember something he said, days later and start laughing again.  It’s true.  We have FUN, and everything is an adventure.  Seven years later, we still will get the giggles as we’re falling asleep.  I didn’t know if I would ever find someone who not only appreciated my unique (kind of dark) sense of humor, but we compliment each other perfectly and it is the laughter and looking on the bright side that has gotten us to where we are.  The world can happen around you, but if you get home, and can smile about the life you created, with the person who is by your side, it’s going to be ok.

Writing these five things makes a relationship look pretty simple.  We all know that is far from the truth, but with these five things at the foundation of a relationship, the rest will come together.  It takes time, patience, and a whole lot of vulnerability, but it’s worth it. 

My life has become something I never thought it would be. So what’s the point of all this?  Be patient, be yourself, and don’t settle.  For all those young people (or not so young people) who are thinking they’ll be alone forever with their cat (and hey, that’s ok too), live the best life you can,  and someone will notice, and want to live their best life with you.