So you want to say "Yes to the Dress!"

Unlike most brides who begin planning a wedding, dress shopping was probably what I was least looking forward to. I spent more time scouring photos of styles that might actually work for my body (3’ 9”, a central line I would have to creatively tuck into whatever neckline I chose…) than those I actually liked.  My biggest fear was that I would have my family fly in, we would devote a day to shopping and all leave defeated and disappointed. Well, i am here to tell you that is NOT what happened, and dress shopping was easily one of my favorite memories of the entire wedding planning process!  I thought I would pull together some of my Dos and Don’ts so that all my tiny brides, or differently shaped brides can have a positive experience on your big day (or maybe just make it suck a little less!)

DO your research! A few places I found on Yelp were NOT wheelchair accessible. Regardless of the fact that myself and some of my wedding party required accessibility, I struggle to give my business to places that are accessible to all. I had a list of places I wanted to go when the day came. Come to find out, we only needed one! We went to Luv Bridal in Denver, and they were fantastic from beginning to end. You can read my full review here.

DON’T bring a ton of people. No really. I invited my mom, my sister (Maid of Honor) and one of my bridesmaids who was local and it was perfect!. I did not ask people to fly in, or invite the entire bridal party. Let me let you in on one of the biggest wedding planning secrets you’ll need.  When you invite people… you also invite their opinions.  This place happened to have a limit of how many people could join you, but I just advise bringing people who know YOU and that YOU want to share the moment with. If that’s everyone, great, but you can also meet up with your crew for bottomless brunch after and let them be surprised just like everyone else!

DO advocate. Ugh. So annoying right? I’m the bride, everyone should KNOW what I need!  When you have a disability, you are no stranger to advocacy. Well guess what? You don’t get to put that away when you’re planning a wedding. I took a few minutes to call the bridal salon I had an appointment with and explain that I was not of average height, and what they were working with.  I did NOT do this to ask permission to shop there, or create any sort of pity party.  I wanted them to be aware so they could make informed choices when choosing dresses and make the most of my time AND theirs! They were so wonderful, and acted like this was business as usual for them!

DON’T pop bottles.  I know… I know…. how can I possibly be giving this advice?  I imagined my dress shopping experience to be welcomed with glasses of champagne because, duh… wedding. But it was BYOB, and we didn’t, and I am GLAD! Have you ever decided to have just “a couple glasses of wine” and ordered some weird stuff from Amazon? You want to be in your BEST state of mind. Also, for my ladies with disabilities, standing on that round circle in dresses that don’t fit, you don’t need anything else impairing your balance! Trust me, there will be PLENTY of champs in your future!

DO stick to your budget!

I was terrified to buy a dress.  I know people spend four times our wedding budget on dresses and I was afraid to even try one on!  I was transparent about our budget from the beginning and guess what? My dress was UNDER our budget! It all worked out.  And if it hadn’t? I probably would have kept looking. I know this is a big day folks, but my wedding motto was also “it’s ONE DAY!” You have to pay rent after the wedding! Stick to your guns! I also shopped around for alterations and found an amazing deal going through a local seamstress vs. what the salon wanted to charge me!  Yelp is your friend!

 

DON’T limit yourself to your comfort zone. I went in thinking I knew exactly what I wanted based on what had always worked for me, and what wouldn’t work, but guess what? I tried on a mermaid fit, and guess what? It looked amazing!! It wasn’t what I wanted for the day, but I was shocked to see that something I never thought would work for me kind of did!  

DO be HONEST.  This is your day and your body, and your emotions.  I told my consultant at the very beginning that I was feeling nervous, and dress shopping was not always a positive experience for me. I was NOT looking forward to this day. Because of this, she was always checking in and making sure I was having a good time. If there is a dress you don’t love, SAY IT! You’re the customer!  What don’t you like about it? Be specific, so your team can help find what you love!

DO try a veil. I was CONVINCED I was not going to have a veil, but you see people on these wedding shows put on a veil, and get “all jacked up” and then everyone cries? THAT IS REAL! My consultant found me a veil, and I put it on, and shoot! I was a bride. I definitely took it off for the reception, but it added that touch of glamour I just never imagined.  Even if you just try one one….trust me, your mom wants you to. 

DO let your consultant do their job. Seriously.  It’s great to have ideas and Pinterest photos, but this girl knew what she was doing.  My dress was the last dress she pulled and when I came out of the dressing room, the whole salon gasped and went “THAT ONE.” Now here’s the thing, when I found the stock photo of my dress on the model, I NEVER would have even pinned it. It was nothing like what I had on my “Let’s Get Married” wedding board, but it fit me like a dream. Not only did it fit me, but I could move in it! I could go to the bathroom by myself, and DANCE! It was MY DRESS. 

DO enjoy every moment!  After my day with my “Bride Tribe” I went back to pay off my dress, and pick up my accessories, and I went by myself.  My consultant brought me different tiaras and took photos, and that was when I felt it. My mom cried as soon as I put on the first dress I tried, but I’m a tougher crowd.  Here I was, buying a wedding dress. This was happening!  It my first “bridal” moment.” And I just let myself have it. 

Of course everyone’s day will be different, and it may not be that simple. Maybe you do want to go more than one place (frankly I was sad we only had to go to one store because it was so much fun) but just remember, at the end of the day, whether it’s mermaid, or a ballgown, or a pantsuit whatever make YOU feel beautiful on your big day will be the right choice! 

#GlitterMask

It’s definitely been awhile since I’ve dipped a toe in the beauty blogger pool, but with all of the wedding planning that's been going on (which is going to be my next post for sure!) I’ve been spoiling myself a little, hitting Sephora for the perfect lip color and treating my skin to a little extra TLC!   I plan on only doing this bride thing once, so I’m playing that card as much as possible.

Which is EXACTLY why I justified the purchase of the new glitter mask by Glam Glow!  What better time to have magic unicorn princess skin than MY WEDDING! 

Before I get started, I’ll let ya know, I have nothing to disclose.  Nobody gave me this for free, and it’s not a sponsored post, but hey Glam Glow, if you’re interested, you know where to find me.  

Let’s start with the product.  It’s easily a cult classic and was created especially for incredible insta stories.  The Glam Glow My Little Pony GravityGlow Glitter mask is available at Sephora and is available in three colors/ ponies-  

- Princess Luna Black—the powerful princess and beauty icon
- Pinkie Pie Pink—the socialite and life of the party
- Twilight Sparkle Purple—the lovable perfectionist 

For those who know me, know this was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, because, I’m a multi-faceted Gemini and ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!! 

After far too much pondering and analysis of my character traits in the aisles of Sephora, I selected Pinkie Pie, the socialite, and life of the party, because come the big day, that is what I’ll be channeling.  

Let’s rip that band aid off quick.  Yes, it’s $60. for 1.7 oz of pink glittery goop.  Yep. Weddings do weird things to me.  

But I know I’m marrying the right dude, because when I showed him my purchase, hidden in my tiny Sephora bag, he just looked at me, shrugged and said “I mean… I get it.”  

The mask comes in a cute little tub, which is in a cute little box, and you guys, IT COMES WITH GLITTERY STICKERS. Some of them might be on my phone right now… so again.  Totally justified.

The other really awesome thing, is it comes with a little spatula for applying the mask. I’ve actually used the spatula with other masks and I will never mask without my spatula again!  I believe it’s made of silicone, and is easily washable with soap and water so you can sanitarily apply your mask each time.  

The mask itself is a thick gel, but the glitter is chunky and embedded in the gel.  I’ve found a few pieces here and there but it’s nothing like the fallout of a glitter eyeshadow or the glitter your teachers hated using for crafts! You know what I mean!

As for the application, I think I’m still getting the hang of it.  the thicker you apply, the easier it is to peel off, but the longer it takes to dry.  I tend to go heavier on my T Zone and then a little less around my face and places that touch my hairline.  Basically, just SLATHER!  Really do your best to avoid eyebrows… cause we all like having eyebrows right?  Keep them suckers glitter free! 

I basically spread a thick coat of glitter goo on my face, avoiding my hairline the best I can, and settle into my favorite Bravo binge.  You can give this thing forever to dry.  Seriously.  I sat for about 30 + minutes this weekend, and there were still places that could have used more time.  Relax.  Snap.  Post an Instastory.  Use all the hashtags #Glamglow #Glittermask #GlitterandGlow.  Enjoy the masking experience, for when you are finished, your face will glow as much as the sparkly gunk on your mug! 

*1 episode of Vanderpump Rules later*

I will be honest, I have not found a lot of peel off masks I'm a fan of. I tend to have dry, somewhat sensitive skin, and most peel off masks remind me of liquid duct tape, and leave me feel angry at how long it take to peel off instead of the zen I am supposed to experience after an “at home facial.” 

NOT THIS ONE. If I didn’t have a nose, I’m pretty sure I could get it off in one piece.  If you let it dry all the way, literally, lift it up and gently peel.  It is the most satisfying, mesmerizing experience! 

The instructions say to cleanse your skin after, but I’ve splashed it with water, used a toner, and made sure I didn’t have any glittery remnants behind before applying a moisturizer, and my skin feels amaaaazing.  And I think it looks good!  Even my toughest beauty critics at work have mentioned they think the glitter mask is working!  

So what's my arbitrary made up rating? 

I give it 4 out of 5 pony stickers.

I wish I got more product for the price, and I wish it dried a little quicker.  Otherwise… I’m already deciding what pony to get next.

I’m hooked. This may be my holy grail mask, and I’m sure it will be limited edition!

So with that, let me know, have you tried it? Loved it? Hate it?

Want more beauty product reviews from me?    Tell me what’s up! 

Love you all!  Peace, love, and my little pony Glitter masks! 

How do we do it?

I originally wrote this post on Valentine's Day, but since I've been experiencing a serious case of DBS (delayed blogging syndrome) I thought it made sense, to just post it on our 7th Meetiversary.

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Good morning everyone and Happy Valentine’s Day.  Or Galentine’s Day, or Singles Awareness Day!  However you choose to celebrate, I’m here for it! Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of the V-day.  Although in elementary school, I remember agonizing over which Hello Kitty/Barbie/Little Mermaid valentine would go to who, so nobody would get the wrong message. 

Then I was single and bitter for a good chunk of my life, but never missed an opportunity to go out for pink drinks with my gal pals. And now here we are.  I’ve become that person I never thought I would be.  Planning a wedding, caring about flowers, and centerpieces, and loving every minute of it.  I remember when Owen and I first started “dating,” (Disclaimer, I hate that word, because our “dates” consisted of Skype calls and trips to Vegas… I think we had been together for over a year before we saw a movie like normal people) telling my friends and family about him, and everyone was like “Mallory… I think you really like him. I’ve never seen you like this.”  My face would turn red and I would smile, and just feel true happiness, it was WEIRD. 

This month, our story was published in the newsletter for the Kansas Youth Empowerment Academy (KYEA) and we were asked to share how we met, and our advice for a happy relationship, or for young people with disabilities who are looking for love.  We shared the abridged version here, and if you recall, a few years back, I shared a more detailed version of the story of how we met.   But having this opportunity, got us thinking, that maybe I should just write an actual blog entry.  Many of you know, we have a Facebook “Fan page.”  I believe it was on our first Meetiversary, 1 year after we met, Owen had a status about meeting me, and over 100 people liked it.  I was surprised, honestly.  Yea, I had been single for a while, but man, people were that excited to see me with someone, finally? 

People were following our story because it gave them hope.  It showed them that just because they had a disability, they could have love, that they DESERVED love.  It showed parents of kids with disabilities that their kid would find someone who loved, respected them and gave them an experience that most “typically developing” adolescents have.  So we said “Heck! Why not?”  Our Facebook “fanbase” has followed us through a move to Boston, 110” of snow, a graduation, celebrating jobs, a move to Colorado, an engagement, and now THE BIG DAY! And I’ll be honest, I didn’t know that we would hit some of those milestones, but really, not because of each other, it’s just been a real adventure. 

When we were moving to Boston, it was the biggest, scariest thing, either of us had ever done, and I remember people saying to me, “AND you’re MOVING IN together!” like that was really the scariest, hardest part of what we were doing.  Never mind the fact I was going to be going to grad school while working, or we were learning to navigate a city, and access healthcare. WE WERE GOING TO BE SHARING A BATHROOM.  Granted our first studio was 500 sq. feet, and it was quite a transition, but it was mind blowing to me how people perceived relationships, and that moving in together was so scary.  We are so grateful we lived together.  There were days (most) that it was the other person that kept us going.  I wouldn’t have finished grad school if it weren’t for Owen telling me I was needed there, and I was doing this for a reason.  He gave me pep talks, reminded me to eat, and laughed with me every step of the day.

It wasn’t easy, but we learned, we grew, and we conquered- one chapter after the next.

So how?  Why are we as successful and strong as we are?   When we were brainstorming for KYEA it was tough to articulate what we have created over the last 7 years, but I’m going to attempt to share our Top 5 tips for a happy, healthy, relationship, and what made us know we wanted to go the distance.   Ready?

1.     No B.S.  Seriously.  Before O and I made it official, I had hung out with guys before, but it never went beyond being a “thing.”  They didn’t want anything serious, and nobody wanted to commit, bla bla bla.  I straight up told Owen, “If we’re long distance, I’m not leaving this as a “thing.” I don’t have time for petty bullshit and I don’t play games.” He had me at “Me either.”  And there was none.  We didn’t (and still don’t) post passive aggressive digs on Facebook, we trust each other. I know that’s easy to say, but really. TRUST. 100%

2.     Communication. This goes hand in hand with #1, and together, they make a healthy relationship.  Ta DA!  But really.  Even when I was younger, I remember all of my friends would come to me with their relationship drama, and I hear things now, and my response is always “Well, did you tell them/talk to them, etc.”  And my mind is blown at how often the answer is, “No…” or “They should know!” I don’t know about most people, but I know that I am not a mind reader.  Owen and I talk about EVERYTHING, and we did before we moved in together.  I think part of the reason we may be so good at this is because we were long distance for a year and all we could do was talk!  We asked each other get to know you questions long into the night and covered so much before we even were together in person. Owen is well aware I’m definitely an over communicator, and not only do we talk about the “big stuff,” when we have to, but we just check in pretty frequently.  How’s it going? Are we happy? Are we on the same page? When the answer is no, what do we do about it?  I don’t know, we’ve just always been able to open up with each other in a way we never good before, and that was one of the reasons we knew we wanted to do this for real. 

3.      Support each other.  No matter what.  When we moved to Boston, Owen left everything he knew so that I could go to grad school.  I know it was hard for him, probably in ways I’ll never truly understand, but he never ONCE made me feel bad that we had moved there or that I was in school. When I doubted myself, and I wanted to quit, he would make me dinner or run me a bath and say “The world needs you, you can do this.”  We still have conversations about what we wanted to do with our lives, and how the other one would be there no matter what. I have no doubt in my mind that we never would have made it through the “Boston era” if we did not have each other.  Period. 

4.     TAKE A RISK. I will never forget when Owen flew to Vegas for my birthday because he was in love with me and he didn’t know if he would ever see me again.  Like that is some rom com stuff, you know?  At the time I didn’t really even know what to do about it, because nobody had ever made me a priority like that or been so honest.  But it CAN happen and I continue to tell people “If someone loves you, they will find a way.”  Don’t waste your time on people who can’t make you a priority, because there is someone out there who will! It was scary for me to say “Yes, let’s do this,” that night in Vegas.  Truth be told, I had never had a serious relationship before Owen.  Sure, there were guys I talked to, and it was fine, but I always knew going into it, it would never be more than a “thing,” and it wasn’t what I wanted for the rest of my life.  This was different.  Owen was everything I didn’t know I wanted. 
I’m not going to lie, we both talked a lot about the disability piece as well.  I had always said I didn’t want to be with someone who had a disability, because I had enough of my own "stuff" to deal with.  What ended up happening was we found someone whose “stuff” aligned with our own, and understood each other on a level, that nobody else would.  Don’t be afraid to take a chance, and take a step outside of your comfort zone. You deserve someone who gets you and loves you on ALL levels.

5.     At the end of the day, all you can do is laugh. 
When I first met Owen, before we even began dating officially, I remember he made me laugh.  Like really, genuinely, laugh, not like “I’m laughing because you want me to think you’re funny.”  I actually remember thinking “Huh… usually I’m the funny one… this is kind of nice.” When we would meet up in Vegas, we would walk the strip and talk and laugh.  I always tell people; Owen makes me laugh in the kind of way where you remember something he said, days later and start laughing again.  It’s true.  We have FUN, and everything is an adventure.  Seven years later, we still will get the giggles as we’re falling asleep.  I didn’t know if I would ever find someone who not only appreciated my unique (kind of dark) sense of humor, but we compliment each other perfectly and it is the laughter and looking on the bright side that has gotten us to where we are.  The world can happen around you, but if you get home, and can smile about the life you created, with the person who is by your side, it’s going to be ok.

Writing these five things makes a relationship look pretty simple.  We all know that is far from the truth, but with these five things at the foundation of a relationship, the rest will come together.  It takes time, patience, and a whole lot of vulnerability, but it’s worth it. 

My life has become something I never thought it would be. So what’s the point of all this?  Be patient, be yourself, and don’t settle.  For all those young people (or not so young people) who are thinking they’ll be alone forever with their cat (and hey, that’s ok too), live the best life you can,  and someone will notice, and want to live their best life with you.

2017 in Review

Good morning!

I could be sleeping in right now but it’s the last day of 2017 and I don’t want to waste it!

A lot of people are saying 2017 was a garbage fire and while some of that may be true, I think most of the negativity is seeping over from a decision our country made in 2016.  Regardless of that, 2017 was good to us, and I’m not here to talk about the negativity.  I’m here to talk about the AWESOME things that happened in 2017, and you know what that means.  A COUNTDOWN!  Because… say it with me now: “I love bulleted lists!”

Here we go!

• In February, we went to Nevada, for the annual dinner for Nevada Big Horns Unlimited.  It’s a tradition that is a big part of Owen’s family, and I got to go and be a part of it with his whole family.  Maybe after a couple more years I can even explain it to people when I tell them we’re going!
  
  
  
• WE MOVED! After 5 years living together and two different studios, we FINALLY were able to snag a one bedroom, AND it’s on the first floor, which is essential for safety, when the fire alarm goes off here all the time.  We’ve never been on the first floor, and that alone has been life changing.  Nevermind the fact we now have a bedroom, a couch, closets, high ceilings.  It really is beginning to feel like home, and not a dorm room furnished with the most minimal budget furniture we can find!

• We had the opportunity to represent the Mountain States region at their annual meeting, and I got to visit Salt Lake City for the first time!  Having been involved in the genetics community, always representing New England, it was a little weird to be telling people we are in Colorado now, but it was great to see some familiar faces, meet new people, and know we still have a set at the genetics table!

• After several attempts, and not being able to make it work I finally had the chance to speak at the Youth Leadership Forum (YLF) in Kansas!  I had dinner with one of my good friends from my MCH life, and was reminded the speaking to youth is really one of my all time favorite things in the world to do. Being able to share my story, and help youth understand what it really takes to create a life they love, and be independent to the degree they are able just gives me that surge of energy, that buzz of…. “I think this is my passion!”  Thanks Kansas! 

• I started “going to” therapy consistently.  Yup. We’re going to talk about Mental Health.  Ready?  I have gone to therapy off and on since I lived in Maine. As many of you know, I am a verbal processor, and having someone who just lets me blabber, who asks questions and challenges my thinking is just helpful.  When I was in Boston, I had the only therapist that ever took my insurance, and it was basically less helpful than going to coffee with a friend.  Every time I went, we literally had the same conversation… but hey, it was FREE. When I moved to Denver, I found a wonderful person who was also a life coach, AND $130 A VISIT. Plus the Uber to get there, and the time off I had to take from work.  Then I took the plunge and signed up for TalkSpace, and it has been one of the best decisions I made.  I still pay out of pocket, but I have access to my therapist 24/7 (who I LOVE) and it’s all virtual.  I don’t have to schedule appointments or figure out how to get there.  I send her messages while I’m drinking coffee in the morning, or if I have after a bad meeting at work.  She has helped me set goals, and begin to process some of the things we experienced while living in Boston (and even before then).  For so long we were both in survival mode, most of our feelings sort of got pushed aside as we just had to get through the day, the week, that degree.  Now that we are settled, its time to practice some self care and really check in with where we are at and how we can be our best selves moving forward!  Virtual therapy may not be the best model for everyone, but it is a perfect fit for me, and I’m so glad I took the plunge!
  
  
  
• I got a new scooter!  As you all remember, this summer brought some literal bumps in the road as my old reliable scooter Barbie took her last scooter breath.   I was absolutely stunned as my community came together and I was able to raise enough money for a new scooter in less than two days.  I am SO grateful for all the people who love and support us on our journey and helped me to maintain my independence for the rest of 2017!

• We went to CONCERTS!  When we were long distance, Zac Brown Band was our soundtrack, and although they came to Boston a couple times when we were there, we just couldn’t make it work to see them.  This time, we weren’t about to pass it up, and seeing them at Coors Field (while its not Fenway) was incredible!  AND THEN THERE WAS KESHA. Seeing Kesha was not only fun, it was cathartic and healing.  I know that sounds silly, but both Kesha and I have been through a lot in the last few years.  Kesha was the first CD I blasted in my car in 2010, she was my going out anthem, the song that played when I got driven to my hotel in Vegas and said goodbye to Owen along with “You have my number, use it or don’t!”  The crowd at this show was one full of love and acceptance.  Yea, she got political and we needed it.  She only sang for an hour but it was the best night we had in a long time.  I sang, I cried, I let my hair down, and there was glitter, so much glitter. 

• In September, my family came to visit, and I realized that it was the first time since I’ve lived in another state that both my mom and dad, and my sister have come to visit at the same time, and it was AWESOME.  They were able to sty with us since we have a bigger apartment now, and we did so much!  We brunched, we went to Taste of Colorado, I got to take my dad to the Grateful Dead bar by our house (which I’m pretty sure is now one of my favorite memories of all time), and we went wedding dress shopping!  I know we all went, feeling vaguely pessimistic, since dress shopping for me tends to be challenging, but the angels at Luv Bridal were incredible, and made it the best experience.  I didn’t expect to find a dress on my first trip, but I did, and I was actually sad when it was over!  We also went to the butterfly pavilion, which was so special, since butterflies are a symbol of the Nana, and it was like she was right there with us. Then we surprised my family by taking them to dinner at our future wedding venue.  It was so exciting to be able to share Denver with them, and celebrate how far we have come!  

• THE WEDDING STUFF!  Last year at this time, we had just gotten engaged, and I was absolutely overwhelmed at what had to go into having a wedding.  I thought we could never do it, and people kept asking if we had a date or a venue and I already felt like we were behind.  Then we took some time, thought about what we wanted, enjoyed looking at venues and now a year later, it’s really happening.  I have a dress, we have our venue, DJ, photographer, and it’s really going to be what we want it to be!  We are SO excited to have all the people we love in one room, it’s going to be so incredible.  280 days and counting! 

• Last but certainly not least, in the last couple weeks of 2017, Owen GOT A JOB!! Since moving to Denver he was worked endlessly, applying and networking to land a consistent opportunity that was a good fit, and something he could get to easily.  Well, his hard work paid off, and he is now a marketing research recruiter, and works just a few blocks from our apartment (and my office).  In addition to this huge accomplishment, in 2017 he worked at the elections division again and really found his niche in dog sitting which has been SO FUN!  He has such a knack with the canine crowd, and it has been great, spending time with different kinds of doggos,  so we can practice before adding our own furry friend to our home (I mean.. .we all know we’re going to eventually).  If you need a dog sitter in the Denver area, find Owen on Rover!  

So there you have it!  I thought it would be tough to make a list of 10 things, but really it was hard ONLY picking 10!  Cheers to all of you who supported us, and helped to make 2017 so incredible, I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store.  May the new year bring you all health, and happiness!  Be safe, have fun, and make the most of this last night of 2017.  

Colorado Continued

Remember when I used to write a blog?  Ugh me too. 

I am the WORST.  Except not really. I don’t even have any good excuses except for life has been happening at an unbelievable pace, and there was this period of time after the presidential election when I forgot how to make words.  But I’m not here to talk about that (yet).

I’m mostly here to pour some words onto a page about the last almost year of my life because that’s what I do, and I am a selfish millennial who believes the world wants to hear about it.

Before I get to the good stuff, let’s back up to where we last were.  About a year ago, my temp position, my first job in Colorado was coming to an end.  I applied for a position within my section, sure that I would get it, because well… they wanted me to move here.  Well SURPRISE.  I didn’t get it.  I didn’t talk much about this when it happened, because it was a lot to process, and I still didn’t know where I fit into this department landscape, and I didn’t want to burn any bridges.  It was tough.  This was also during a time I did NOT have health insurance (another blog I will revisit).  My health was not at its best, and I was trying to “put my best foot forward” to land a permanent position (doing anything really at this point, I just needed a paycheck and to be able to get my prescriptions again).  When I didn’t get the job, it was like the rug got pulled out from under me again and the world started spinning. 

Had we made a mistake coming here? Would we be able to pay rent?  Whose family would we live with when I failed once again? Maybe not all of these thoughts were necessary, but they were real.  These are the rollercoaster emotions and thoughts of real transition folks. I cried in the parking lot as I watched my current “team” walk away from me and go to lunch together.

I let myself feel all of my feelings, and then I took a deep breath, put on my big girl pants (again… man these things get a lot of use, the rhinestones are starting to fall off) and I re-evaluated.  There was a barricade in front of the “easy road” I had hoped I could take, seamlessly falling into a job where I already was, with the work I had already been doing for 9 months.  But here I was. Once again, the universe had presented me with an opportunity.  An opportunity to decide what my Colorado path was going to be!  I revamped my résumé, and hit the ground running. I reached out to my networks and applied for so many jobs.  Now mind you, before spring of 2015, when I was getting close to graduating from BU I had NEVER applied for a job (I know, don’t hate me).  But I’ve always worked.  I was very fortunate in the way that every “job” I’ve ever had rolled into another one, and people just sought me out to be a part of things, so all of this was new to me.   I had to remember how to sell myself, and I had lots of people help with cover letters, since I didn’t speak the language of the system yet.

Fast forward to June, when my job is about to end, the Friday before my last day, and I have two offers on the table, one with my current employer, who had (at the last possible second) whipped together a “position” for me, and one, doing real, state level health policy at an office that would be two blocks from my apartment.  During that interview, I was nervous, but I had this buzz throughout my body as I spoke about my experience in policy, getting invited to the White House and my connections with the disability community that made me realize “You know… I think this means I’m excited about this!”(I was later told I had given a “mic drop interview”).

 

It turns out, my boss had been in Vegas when we were going back and forth about the job offer, but he had gotten the cell phone number of the director of HR to be able to give me a formal offer, since he knew I had another offer at the same time.  What a day that was! I was shown, if you really want someone, you can make it happen, and it was time to go where I was valued!

I even got a couple weeks of "Funemployment" before I started new position, which was much needed! 

Today actually marks my 10 months in my current position, and I think it is one of the best jobs I’ve ever had.  Granted it is HARD work, but while some may consider it thankless and unfulfilling, I can’t believe I am finally in the process of making tangible systems change.  We are not doing ambiguous logic models and learning objectives that never go anywhere.  We are writing policy and serving real people.  What could be more fulfilling?  I recently realized, I think I am the perfect balance of optimistic and jaded to be in this work.  I have seen both sides of this service and I know it’s not easy and it’s not fun, but it’s ESSENTIAL for so many individuals to live their best lives, so someone has to do.  I now have a paycheck, health insurance, a retirement plan, PAID TIME OFF AND SICK TIME, and an amazing group of colleagues, so I can’t complain.  It all works out. 

Trust the process, and trust yourself and those who truly care about you. I have zero regret coming to Denver, and what this last year taught me is just how many people we DO have in our corner and who really mean it when they say “Do you need anything?” or “How are you really doing?”  I still am in awe of our incredible community.

A couple of other huge milestones that happened recently, that I will put on my calendar to write more about, but for a teaser

WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!  After dating for 5 years, and living together for 4 -After braving blizzards, and bombings, and grad school Owen gave me a ring, with the Nana’s flawless diamond and said “Will you Marry me?”  And I was like OK!  Stay tuned for lots of wedding talk, and me being a cheesy girly girl that I once despised!

The other big news WE MOVED!  After 4 years of cozy studio living, we have a 850 sq ft ONE BEDROOM.  I need to wrap this up so we can go buy a couch.  It is so perfect for us, and we are on the first floor, which has already been life changing. 

So guess what guys?  It’s all happening.  All of those things I thought we’d never get to, here we are.  It is the craziest thing.  I am REALLY happy.  To those on the transition train, let me just tell you. It’s possible.  It’s not always easy, and it sure isn’t fun, but keep going.  I know it sounds silly, but really, you can create the life you want.  I never thought I would be here, but if you put it out to the universe, make a lot of Google docs spreadsheets, and aren’t afraid to take a leap of faith, you may surprise yourself with how things work out.

More on that later, but for now, I am going to wake up my FIANCÉ, and go buy some furniture for my big girl house!

Xoxo.