Marathon Monday 4/15/2013

One week ago today was our first “Marathon Monday” as residents of Boston.  Not being much of an athlete, I didn’t think much of it.  Then, as I realized it was quite a big deal for the city, I began secretly googling “What does one do on Marathon Monday?”  to see if I indeed, got the day off, or should imbibe with some Sam Adams at an inappropriate hour.

After I gave a speech for Team Hole in the Wall:
 

 however, I was given an itinerary and an invitation to join them at the “cheer zone” near HeartBreak Hill.  I thought the most exciting part of the day would be taking the B line to the other end, and seeing a BC student peeing in a corner of the sidewalk (stay classy BC)….

What I did not anticipate, was this day becoming one that would become a part of history for our city… and our country.

The morning after my speech, at Maggiano’s, a block or so from the finish line of the race, I walked Owen to the T stop to see what the weather was like, treated myself to a sesame bagel and butter pecan coffee at Dunkin Donuts (far better than the Irish Crème, ps) I decided to make the trek and join the camp team in cheering on our runners.

After a series of events, and a broken elevator, Owen ended up leaving his venture to work and meeting me at the B.C. stop on the green line.  We trudged up Heartbreak Hill with Hooptie and Scootie until we found the Cheer Zone.  We quickly donned “Team Hole in the Wall” t-shirts, tattoos, grabbed noisemakers and the day had begun. 

As I sat watching the runners, of all ages, and all abilities, and the crowds that came out to support, whether it was a hoard of college students just looking for an excuse to drink at 9 a.m. or a family with emotional hand written signs of encouragement, this was truly a big event for the city.  I felt such a connection to people I didn’t even know, and felt fortunate that I got to share in this journey of theirs- the result of months, maybe even years of training.

At about 2:30 p.m. the runners began to thin out, and the sun had gone behind the clouds.  “Are you ready to venture back down our way?” I asked Owen.

Owen: “Yea sure.  Do you want to go to the finish line?”

Mal:  “Ummmm, I don’t know, it’s probably going to be a mad house down there, and I haven’t even taken anything out for dinner.  Let’s head home first and see if we want to go out again.”

So we headed back to the B line.  As we boarded the train I got a text from my mom.  “Are you ok!?!?”

Confused, I began texting her back, but my phone rang as I was typing.  “Where are you, are you ok???” she asked frantically. 

“Yea, we’re fine, just getting on the train to head home, why what’s going on?”

The news had just broken.  I hadn’t had my phone out much that day except for the occasional facebook update, but it never occurred to me to keep up with twitter to see if tragedy might strike.

“There were explosions at the finish line.  It’s bad. Where are you??”

I reassured my mother we were fine and hung up immediately to check on the camp volunteers we had planted at the other end of the race.  Everyone was fine, except for witnessing the horrible event, and moments later, we were evacuated from the train and the city’s entire transportation system was haulted.

I called a couple of our “go to people” in Boston just to tell them what was going on and where we were, having no idea how we were getting home or what might happen next, then we just began wandering.  We stopped for a few minutes next to a construction vehicle, and he turned up the news on his radio for others to hear.   They described the scene at the finish line, and I broke down in tears.  “We just have to get home,” I told Owen. 

I asked an officer (or somebody with a neon vest) when the shuttle bus that was supposed to be replacing the train, was arriving, to which he responded “I don’t know nothin’ about no shuttle bus.  All the roads are closed.”  And he spit on the ground.

Thanks sir, for your support in my time of need.

“Let’s start walking I guess.”

Not knowing what else to do, and being in pure fight or flight mode, we just took off down Comm Ave towards home.  The streets were eerie.  Everyone was on their cell phone, crying or trying to comfort their parents who knew they were somewhere at the race.  Drunk B.C. student sauntered back to campus.  One thing I’ll never forget, as we passed a “hydration station” on the course of the race, the entire volunteer team, about 20 people in neon yellow jackets and white hats, sitting in a row, on the ground, silently looking at their phones.  I wish now I had taken a picture, but it’s one of many images that is permanently engraved in my mind from that day.

We kept “walking” and the sidewalks got more broken, the hills got steeper and the wind got more brutal.  Finally, we saw a Best Western and we decided to just hang out there and see who could come get us before we ended up in the middle of nowhere with a dead scooter battery and no cell phones.   The Best Western university let us hang out as long as we needed to and I was able to plug in my phone as we watched the horrifying coverage on the news.

I called Bill, who lives in Cambridge and explained the situation.  Since then, I have mapquested the entire path we took from where we were at the Cheer Zone, to the hotel, and poor hooptie and scootie ventured about 4 miles before we surrendered.  Perhaps next year’s marathon is not so far off.

Bill texted me back that he would find a way to get to us, and they were buying the first round.  I hugged Owen and said, “This is why we’re here.”

After navigating the mess of Comm Ave, we were back in Allston and had a comforting dinner and a few drinks before Bill and Nancy brought us safely to our apartment (with 2 more bottles of wine)

“My god, with everything that has happened since you guys have been here, you’re gonna need them.”  Nancy said as she loaded up Owen’s backpack with a Pinot Noir and Chardonnay.

As the week went on… we did need them.

Now- just to back up a second- I am not going to go into the details of what happened, or link to media or news sources.  Google it.  It’s all out there, more than you probably want to know or see, and regretting some of the links I have clicked in the past week, I will let you view with your own judgment. This is simply my account of the events…

Tuesday, we didn’t go anywhere.  I told Owen as long as there was heightened security anywhere I just wanted to be together.  I needed him there.  I barely slept after the events of the day before and still jumped at the slightest noise.

Wednesday was a better day.  My parents were in Boston, and I was able to have lunch and an early beer with my dad. I have never been so relieved to see my father.  We had a coffee in my apartment (“Dad, it’s 10:00… we need to wait like an hour before we can go anywhere for brunch…”) and I got to show him a bit of our neighborhood before we settled in at Tavern in the Square by an open window.  It was a beautiful day in the city, and it reminded me that we were ok, and things would go back to normal.  Dad and I talked a lot, and he got that scrunched up face he gets when he’s trying not to cry, a couple of times.  I sort of just wanted to go home with them.  But I knew I couldn’t.  Then fear would win.

Thursday, Owen and I both resumed normal activity to the best of our ability.  I participated in a transportation training, which was actually really informative, and another reminder that there is so much good in our city, and people do want to make it possible for people with disabilities to be included, and successful here!  Then I went to the Next Step office, mostly to be around people, and immerse myself in something other than news and worry.  The day ended with some amazing craft beer at our favorite tavern near where Owen works, and a toast to the week being almost over.  Or so we thought.

That night, we went to sleep just after hearing about the shooting at MIT.  Refusing to jump on the mass hysteria wagon I assured my mother that once again we were ok, and passed out into a broken sleep.  My phone continued to vibrate all night and I knew I was getting emergency alerts from BU, but my heart couldn’t take it.  I opened one eye and thought “There is nothing I can do right now, and I just.  Can’t.  I’ll see them all tomorrow.”

Sure enough, what we awoke to Friday morning was NOT what I expected at all.  The entire city was in lockdown to find one individual who they believed to be the perpetrator of Monday’s finish line crime scene. So much for sleeping in.  I didn’t even want to take a shower, in case we needed to evacuate or an officer came to the door.

Let me say-  it is one thing to see all of this stuff on the news.  I am still recovering from 9/11 truthfully, but it is a complete other level of horror to know this happened WHERE YOU LIVE.  We didn’t open our shades that day.  I was reassured when the newscasters explained a lot of the lockdown was so that the law enforcement could focus on the “manhunt” and not have to worry about traffic or other behavior of people just being idiots in general.

But still.  Transition be damned.  Planning and preparation?  There is NO tip sheet for this shit.  We hugged a lot.  I was exhausted but couldn’t sleep.  I made us egg sandwiches but I didn’t want to eat.  We just waited.

After a whole day in the ghost town of Boston, the suspect was discovered, and the whole city breathed a sigh of relief.

We had a glass of wine.  But we didn’t celebrate.  We shared that sigh of relief, but it was also a sigh of sadness.  I have so many thoughts and emotions from this whole week, and it will take me months, maybe years to process everything.

Here is what I do know:

• First and oh so foremost.  Thank god.  All the gods.  Thank whoever you know up there, and whoever continues to look out for us, that we were safe and that we were together.  That we were not at that finish line.
• Social media is such a blessing and a curse in times like these.  I am so glad we were able to instantly update 600+ people that we were home and safe, and I could contact my sister even though she is in another country.  However, it also fuels the fire of ignorance and false security.  News channels, do we really need the general public to weigh in on what we think the motives of these individuals were?  Why are engaging in the mass hysteria?  Let the professionals handle this, and be adults about it.
• Boston kicks some serious ass.  I had been waffling about whether we are meant to be here, and what it’s all about but watching the courage, and love, and sense of community at that race, even before the tragedy.  I dig it.  As horrific as the whole thing was, I am proud to be able to say, years down the road, “We lived in Boston.  We remember what it was like to be on lockdown and to hug and cry when it was over.”  Owen’s nieces might learn about this in history class some day.  These are our stories.
• My heart is confused.  Yes, this man committed a horrible crime.  He and his brother inflicted terror, and damage on hundreds of people, that cannot be denied.  He also is the same age as my baby sister. My heart breaks about all of it.  This is a failed transition folks.  He had a promising future, he made some poor choices. REALLY poor choices, but he is a kid.  Picturing him in that boat just hiding from police, I can’t imagine what was going on in his head.  No, I am not defending him, but good god. I just don’t know…
• As proud as I am of Boston, I am ASHAMED of our country.  When the young man was captured, the streets erupted with celebrations, cheering, and chants of USA.  What?  Do your homework folks… he was a US citizen.  He was a college student, with your sons and daughters and friends!  This was not some terrorist bombing from a country far away, this was a neighbor of yours.  I know that is probably scary to admit, but it’s true.  Just because you can’t pronounce their last name, does that make it different?  What if it were a white man named Mark Smith…. Or Timothy McVeigh.  Oh wait.  Terrorism is terrorism.  Why do we need to play the race card?  So much of what I have seen on the internet, and people’s reactions is full of ignorance and hate, and it is disgusting.  People are saying this young man should not receive health care because of what he did.  Hate to say it guys, but he was a student, there is a good chance he has insurance, and guess what- he is going to get billed like everyone else. How will they have a chance to question him, or him to learn from what he did, if we don’t care for him.  As Boston, the mecca of health care, that is the job of our medical professionals.  We are America. These are not the witch trials.  Remove heads from ass, then speak. Or don’t.

Do I have all the answers?  Hell no. I am simply grateful that all of my friends and and family are safe.  I am exhausted, I’m sad, I’m still a little bit scared, but it will get easier as the days go on. I am reminded ONCE AGAIN that time is short, and we can never miss a chance to say what we are feeling or take a chance.

The biggest thing I have taken away from this week, after the rollercoaster of emotion, fear, hope, strength, this is the journey. Our journey. The moments that make us who we are.  For better or worse.

As that finish line proved, maybe it really isn’t about the destination.

#BOSTONSTRONG

What would you wish for....


I'm sure everyone remembers that wildly overplayed song by B.O.B and Hailey William's, "Airplanes?" I could really use a wish right now.

I used to get really annoyed with that song and say, "Oh stop sitting around wishing on things that are not stars, get out there and get stuff done and it'll all work out."
But as I write this entry, it's completely stuck in my head, and ya know.... sometimes... maybe it's ok to "really need a wish right now."

...and sometimes. The right people find out....

Earlier this summer, I discovered an incredible organization. It’s called The Sister’s Wish, and the purpose is to grant “Wishes” for young adults from ages 18-30 who have life threatening or terminal illnesses (and live in ME, NH, or MA).

Most people know about the many “wish granting” organizations for “sick” children, that send kids to Disney before they may not have the chance anymore, or things like that. What a lot of people don’t know is that once those children turn 18, the magic, and wish granting tends to come to a screeching halt. Doing all the work that I do, this is why the field of transition is such a hot topic right now. At the (less than) magic age of 18, legality changes, financial situations change, eligibility rules change, and often times, services that seemed consistent, all of a sudden may not even be available. In lots of cases, being legally an adult when you have a special health need is a series of struggles and figuring out where to go next. To put it quite bluntly, you are no longer “the cute sick kid” that everybody brought stuffed animals.

So when that scary point of adulthood hits, it's often a matter of just getting your daily needs met, and it is not common that people come along and ask “what do you WANT? What can make your life easier, or maybe just a little brighter? How can we make you HAPPY?” But, this is exactly what the amazing people at The Sister’s Wish do!

When I first heard about them, I not only thought that was incredible, and got a little weepy over some of the stories posted on their website that explained some of the wishes they had granted, but I forwarded the information to one of my colleagues who works with Next Step, a spin off program of camp (again, for young adults who have outgrown that source of fun and hope…) I said, “this sounds like something that is for our population. Have you heard of it?” Ready to hit the ground running, spreading the word about this incredible idea. Shortly he wrote back and said, “Mal… those are the Turgeon sisters… their brother was Craig. That IS our population.”

After having a mini meltdown of how small the world is, and how many GOOD people I have come across through my life, I realized he was right, and indeed these were the sisters of a young man I went to camp, and college with. I didn’t know him well, but my family had also known their father, and any connection to camp just makes all of our hearts swell. I quickly wrote an email explaining my connection to them, the work I do, and how I just really wanted to support their mission.

Soon, I was chatting with Beth on the phone and she invited me to a fundraiser on the Casco Bay ferry to meet everyone. It was a lovely afternoon, we had delicious pizza in Portland and I got to see what Sister’s Wish was really all about. I also got to meet local rap artist Spose (http://youtu.be/KgxT5a0Vmeo he really is pretty awesome, and once again…we knew a lot of the same people. Oh hey Maine)

After this event, they told me I should apply for a wish? ME? I didn’t imagine I would be eligible for something like that, and moreover, what would I wish for? Think about it! When was the last time someone asked you “what do you wish for?”

It was a striking moment for me when I realized…. “You know. I am so fortunate and it is crazy to say right now, I am in a wonderful place in my life, and can’t think of a darn thing I need to fulfill me right now.” Wow.

Then I realized this wish was not going to be for me. I had done my time, I had had my journey, and although it goes on, it was time for somebody else to be rewarded. My little sister, Maisy.

She was going off to college and drastically needed a new computer. She is one of those people who has always gotten hand me downs. Gadgets, clothes, etc. And not once would she ever complain about what she has. However, over the past few months I had watched her grow into an incredible young woman, leader, self advocate, mentor, who simply dove headfirst into the process of applying to college, following her heart more intensely than I had ever seen. She deserved this.

I explained my idea to Beth, and we decided to make this happen, and even better, make it a surprise! This wouldn’t be easy as we would have to convince Maisy to come home for a special fundraising event to present it to her AFTER she went away to school (in New Hampshire nonetheless. But we did it! I was able to get her to fill out the application with her own words, and get her home without her even knowing!

When the day finally came, we all piled into the car (I had a terrible cold, and Maisy was exhausted from school. She even asked me the night before, “If I get sick too, do I still have to go to this thing?” ….yes. You do.) and arrived at the ice cream store in Sanford Maine. There was a wonderful crowd, great music, ice cream, and amazing French fries (I have a thing for French fries, ok?) When suddenly, the music turned off, and they called Maisy’s name to go up. She thought she was simply dragged along because I was speaking, and had no idea why she was being called up.

I stood with her as Amy and Beth presented her with her new Macbook Pro and explained how we had planned the whole thing. Then they told me, because of what I had done, I got a wish too! Maisy cried, we all hugged and took a bunch of pictures, BECAUSE WE ARE ALL SISTERS!!!! Sisters’ wish for sisters!!!! It was a terrific afternoon, wishes were fulfilled… and now…

I am back to the drawing board! I suppose I can think of something!

What would YOU wish for : )

OR do you know a young adult who would love to have a wish granted? Check out their website, and have them apply! Spread the word about this amazing group :)

http://thesisterswish.org/

LIKE them on Facebook!

YFRF

I have decided, that for this blog, instead of trying to catch up on the far too epic past 2 months (during which normally, not a heck of a lot would happen....) I will post a Video blog, and break it down bullet style.

In one of my less public journals I try to do something called "You freakin' rock, Friday!!!" and I just list 5 things that are awesome for that week. In this version it will be more of an update form, but I'll try not to be too long winded!

Happy Friday


YFRF- JULY 2011

1. Maisy graduated!!! She is all ready, and eager to head off to Colby Sawyer college in New Hampshire, for psychology. I'm so excited for her, I think it will be wonderful for her, and even though I'll miss my other half, I'm spoiling her rotten in the mean time (BRITNEY IN 2 WEEKS!!!!) and I know it's exactly what she needs right now. (Still nagging her to do a guest blog too one of these days- and by nagging I mean, I've asked once)

.

2. This past weekend, and over the last few months, I have reconnected with so many of my friends! I was home by myself for the weekend and partly thought I'd sit home and watch movies all weekend, wishing I were somewhere where I actually had people to go out with *cough*Vegas*cough* but before I knew it, I was booked every day, and over the course of this week I have seen 5 of my best friends (and maybe more this week). It was just great to relax, catch up and remember why I consider people important in my life. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time! When it comes down to it, I do have people here. And all over the country. Pretty cool stuff!

(My lovely THITWGC Graduates <3)

Birthday in Vegas, with friends I never knew I had but I missed before I left.

More Vegas antics. Sari, and the Bare Naked Ladies concert. Pretty epic week... all birthdays from here on out are going to have a tough act to follow!

Heather from Kansas, and I at a Red Sox game in Baltimore.

3. CAMP CAMP CAMP. Next week Maisy and I are speaking at a golf tournament fundraiser, then a couple weeks later is Alumni stage night, then in the fall we're volunteering at the gala, which is always an incredible experience, whether I'm serving mac & cheese, or on stage with half of Broadway. I can't wait. Any month that has camp events, is pretty much a good month.

4. My professional life is sort of exploding. I've been working with lots of different people, traveling, speaking, learning, growing, and it's all just been an amazing experience. I'm really excited about where I'm at, and where it's all heading. As I talked about in the video, Face Forward is a really cool project that I'm excited to sink my teeth into, and things with Got Transition? are moving a mile a minute, but I really feel like I know what's going on and am contributing, and really leading a lot of stuff. Check out our facebook for the latest ongoings! Or the Website to sign up to get notices about cool stuff we're doing!

Outside the White House Conference Center (yes, I met the man... and I'm not sure the rules of posting pictures, but find me on facebook it's in my profile picture album :) )

5. Best for last I suppose. I went back and forth about posting this, since in this forum I'm actually pretty chill about my personal life, but this has been a huge, wonderful part of the last few months for me, so I'm putting it out there- it can also prove as proof that I maybe am not THAT much of a cynical cat lady.

So there's this boy. His name is Owen, and he lives in Nevada (duh, go big or go home... I don't do anything half way), which is how we met- when I was out at the conference in Vegas in March. Clearly I could write a whole blog about it because "our story" is fun. But long story short, we met, talked, really connected, and he flew to Vegas to be with me for my birthday. The whole thing is sort of Disney, and I'm convinced there should be a Vegas princess and I should be cast.

It's wonderful. He gets me, we have the same sense of humor, do similar work, and just compliment each other so well. He is the completely level Jason to my spastic crazy Bethenny. It's fantastic. And we just have fun together. So much.

To be pretty transparent, I was hesitant to do the "r word" thing (relationship), because I have seen what it has done to some of my best friends, and I was afraid of changing, and losing what I had and who I was, or duh, getting hurt...

But it is so different than anything I thought I had before... I really didn't know what to do. It was sort of shocking to me how we could just be so real and honest with each other, and how it all just felt right....

So. Finally I decided to stop being jaded, let myself be happy- and we went "Facebook official." And guess what? I'm still me. Except better. Mal vs. 2011, puts Mal vs. 2010 to shame. And now, i just have someone to be sarcastic and cynical, and happy and stressed out, and politically frustrated WITH. We keep checking to make sure we're not those people we hate yet. I think we're getting there- but not quite.

However, as I write this, I am becoming one... so I will end here, before I throw up in my mouth and just say, this year, and summer has been incredible in so many ways, I'm happier than I've ever been. And I cannot wait for everything that's to come.

..oh, and as far as Muffy is concerned. I'll always be a cat lady :)

xoxo

Time to Give thanks.... for what?

I write a lot about how blessed I am, and I do not take anything in my life for granted. I KNOW how lucky I am. BUT. I’d also be lying if I didn’t say that like a lot of people, when the air turns cold, and the holiday lights start twinkling, I have days where I get in a weird space of saying “what am I thankful for?”

It is hard sometimes, to look at my life, and say, sheesh, I expected to be farther than this. To watch my friends stop coming home, or having time for me because they have to do two thanksgiving with their significant others’ family too, or they don’t live here anymore and it’s just too expensive to come home. Granted, I have a lot going on in my life, but when it all slows down, it’s just me and Muffy, at my parents’ house attempting to listen to all the Christmas music that reminds me of the good old ASTP days, or the times I listened to certain CD’s 24/7 so I could stop crying at school long enough to write that on last paper between me and coming home to everyone I loved.

The holidays = memories, and let’s face it. Even when you’re home… you can’t go home again.

I’m not writing this to get people to feel bad, or pick up the phone to call and squeeze me in when you’re home (but hey, if you have time…. ) I’m just putting it out there, because I feel like being honest, and I think it hits a lot of people, but we’re forced to gag down a cup of cheer and trudge through the malls even when we’re just not feeling it. You’re not alone…

On that note, I took most of the day to spend time by myself, and knowing our tried and true, unoriginal tradition of going around the table and sharing, pondering the question, “What AM I thankful for?”

Here’s what I came up with:

Being alive- I’m a bit of a miracle. I don’t think anyone thought that at 25, I’d be here, let along be doing what I’m doing (and be quite so fabulous doing it). I don’t walk around on a daily basis going, “Um, don’t mess with me, I’m a miracle you know!” But it is something that helps me feel empowered when I think about it. Clearly I was kept around to do something big… so let’s keep at it.

My family. We have a crazy unique dynamic, and don’t you dare get in the middle of a game of cards, but I cannot deny I have the best, strongest, safet

y net/fan base any girl could ever ask for. From my first dance recital (that I only made it to the rehearsal apparently?) to college graduation, and flying all over the country, they are there, and/or telling all their friends. I’d be nowhere without them.

My job and the opportunities I have had from it- Sure it’s a tough world to be thrown into, but getting to go all over the country and get a sense of national wisdom (and I continue to learn) has inspired me, and given me a sense of what else IS out there- as well as the people who push me to get it. I now feel like I can back up my argument that “Yea, I am bigger than this.”

Camp- Not just for the time spent on the stage of Lincoln Center with Julia and Kristin but for shaping who I am, and REMINDING ME who I am, even now, when I hit that place of, I just can’t do it any more, I’m just me.

The little things that get me through the day- Being able to drive, and blast music in my car that I bought myself. My Starbucks crew that makes me smile and provides the perfect latte, the bartenders in the twin cities that know just how I take my margarita, seeing the sunset over the cow fields on the way home (even though I curse them at the same time), my friends who text me just to say they thought of me. Ke$ha, Britney, Taylor, and all those others that pump me up when I’m not feeling hot. My kitty who makes sure that I don’t have to sleep alone (even though she is a rebel and always wants to snuggle when it’s time to get up)

And ultimately- although I already mentioned family, this one deserves it’s own, final bullet:

MY SISTER.

Lots of people have siblings, but even strangers have pointed out that we have something special. Everything I gripe about when I’m in that place of slump seems irrelevant when I think of going through it with Maisy, from shopping for jugs of water during a Maine wilderness power failure to eating Sushi near Lincoln Center in NYC, we’re pretty unstoppable when we’re together and anything becomes a memorable adventure. We have reached the point where we can exchange personal jokes without even uttering a word, and just making eye contact. We say the things at the same time. We’ll start singing the same song at the same time without even having heard it recently. She may be an outdoor cowgirl and I try to avoid walking in grass, but I have so much respect for everything she has achieved and how hard she works. She is the Timone to my Pumbaa, the Glinda to my Elphaba, the Beavis to my Butthead (I shall not go on). Recently, with her college application process, and watching her crank out essays and fill out applications, I have actually been inspired to start busting my own ass on this whole GRE process and really thinking seriously about the whole grad school thing. Her courage and fresh excitement for the whole “college thing” has made me realize that I need to not fear my own future. With 2011 fast approaching, who knows where things could go!
So after figuring all of this out, and coming to terms with where I’m at, and seeing once again how clearly lucky I am, I can now finish my tea, go to sleep happy and blessed, and wake up tomorrow to watch the parade in the city I will be in in approximately 2 weeks, eat too much, laugh too much, lose money at cards and finally, officially ring in the holiday season, for whatever it is, as Mal version 2010 as she will only exist for a few more weeks!
Let’s do this.

WE LOVE YOU PLN

After I wrote my last entry, a good friend of mine (and faithful reader) said to me “You need to write more!”  So I am proud to say it is not even a month later and here is another entry!  Of course, I partly wish I could say, well nothing has really happened, so there is nothing to write about, but as we all know, my life never has a dull moment, and it has already felt like months

 have passed! However, because of recent events, all my selfish rantings are going to be put aside for now, because my heart and mind is only focusing on one thing today.

I’m sure most of you know by now, because clearly the media is far ahead of me (when I began writing this, there was not much out there but now there is).  A very important man passed away today.  Some of you know him from movies, some of you know him from his amazing organic food line. I know him, because he created camp, and changed my life.  Until my recent years, I didn’t know him as a “celebrity.”  I knew him as Paul…the guy who made camp, and dressed up like a woman in the gala to

 make people laugh…
Now- I am fully aware of everything he has done, and have met his truly wonderful family, and I am really feeling his loss.

I believe that he had done all that he could to make sure camp was in the right hands, and went when he truly believed it was time.  Having listened to his daughter Lissy at the gala last month, we all knew deep down that it wouldn’t be long, but it wasn’t real until today.  It was a grey, rainy day, and hard not to feel the sadness that I know is shared by all THITWGCers no matter where they are in the world.  It is because of this one man that we were able to create such a strong, expansive family, and although he is gone, I know that will not change.  I wish we could all be together today and celebrate his life.

As I ate dinner with my entire family this evening, and both of my grandparents, I couldn’t help but think about Lissy Newman’s children I sat behind at the gala, and how it wasn’t about losing a movie star, it was about real kids losing their grandfather.

Joanne- and the entire Newman family- You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope that you find the love and support that I know, because of Paul, has been provided to so many others.

To my extended camp family- I love you all, and know we are all sharing similar feelings today.  I know it’s not the same, but when you are feeling sad, and that nobody else “gets it.”  Close your eyes and imagine we are all in the dining hall holding hands, and singing Can You Feel the Love Tonight, because I know for a fact that as spread out as we are, I definitely can and even though Mr. Newman may be gone physically, he will never leave camp, and that love will always be strong.

To everyone else, however you are affected by this- realize how lucky you are when you hug your grandparents, or give your husband a kiss or your father a hug tonight.  Look at all that Mr. Newman has achieved in his time and realize that HE is a hero.  He is what we should all aspire to be.  Be genuine, be good, be selfless, but don’t forget to drink beer, make jokes and raise a little hell.  He’d want us to.

And always remember- as I was reminded every summer at THITWGC:

**The time is short and there’s so much to do.  Don’t waste a moment of what’s given to you. Don’t waste a moment cause you’ll never see it returned…**

Thank you.

The Facts.

Loved by all....

Camp Fabulous!  Gala 2008

It’s officially fall!  The air is chilly, and I’m sitting here in my Yale hoodie (did I mention my best friend is going to Yale for grad school.. I’m a little proud…)  

And I’m not at school.  This is the second year this has occurred, but I’m still not used to it.  I mean- when you go to school for fourteen years or something ridiculous- it’s a little hard to train your body and your biological clock to not automatically associate early sunsets and crisp nights with having classes and moving back into a dorm.  But alas here I am- and once again I am so ok with it.

Not being in school that is, not necessarily being home…. In Maine (although everyone else thinks it's pretty cool...)

Let me back up a little bit.  I am still coming down from a really surreal, emotional, intensely fabulous weekend.  It involved another camp fundraiser that Maisy was in, but for the first time, I was not in the show.  I spent the weekend trying to figure out what my role was, but in the end I did discover it and was completely thrilled.  I had an alumni committee meeting the day of the gala, and it’s a small group of people made up of campers, counselors, and board members.  It’s quite an honor considering how many people have graduated from there in 20 years!  We discussed opportunities for alumni events, and went over the beginning seed of a social networking site (a la facebook) that will just be for camp alumni.   There were some great things discussed, and it’s good to know I am not done with my camp involvement.  …and I have a feeling I won’t be for some time.

I don’t know how to explain this without sounding arrogant, and I want to preface by saying that is not my intention at all- but I am kind of a big deal there.  People from the board of directors were bringing me around to meet people to tell them about camp (specifically, former Dodgers pitcher Sandy Koufax…)  and I would introduce myself to people saying, “I’m Mallory,”  80% of the time their response was “Oh, I know!  I saw you in New York!  (or… on the video… or the giant banner at the 20^th reunion)”  It was kind of amazing.  I mean… I chalk myself up to being pretty fabulous around here… but to see it was true there was kind of intense. 

 

Not to mention the schmoozing and chilling I did with some fabulous theater folk.  I have gotten pretty tight with the musical director of the show (what is it with me befriending musical directors? ) Mary-Mitchell Campbell since she did my first gala in 1998, and we’ve been working together for 10 years.  She knows I’m pretty knowledgeable about the world of Broadway and is the one who hooked me with front row seats to Next to Normal, back in March.  The director (James Naughton) and all the costume people and even the stage crew know who I am, so I basically had free run of the theater and spent the first afternoon watching the sound crew work to get things ready.  It was a little weird to not have to be in rehearsal, so I had a lot of free time, and that night I found myself having pizza and wine in the dining hall with some lovely sound boys!  I am not one to mingle with techies usually, but my perception has totally changed!  One of them works on Hairspray and Jersey Boys on Broadway, and the other (who totally reminded me of Anthony Rapp) was leaving for Rome with Liza Minelli!  ...and of course they were all from New York.  

The next night was the an incredible, catered, surf and turf dinner where all the camp, board, and theater people came together for a night of celebrating everything that was going to occur the next day.  It was my first time of what happens after the campers go to bed, and it was amazing.  The dining hall was transformed into a candlelit dinner reminiscent of the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Mary Mitchell quickly found me and asked if I had met Tituss yet (Tituss Burgess- of Sebastian in the Little Mermaid, and Jersey Boys fame) I said I hadn’t and she quickly introduced us. He was absolutely lovely and joined us in the festivities til almost 2 a.m!  Nothing like partying like a Broadway Rockstar…

.

I ended up chatting for quite some time with someone from the main camp office who works on the promotion of camp.   I mentioned to him how in school I was a creative writing major and had written a piece about camp for my portfolio. In it I had said “Camp isn’t something that can be described with words.”  And the critique I receive was, “But you’re a writer… you have to!”  He replied that he totally understood what I meant, because that is his job is to portray camp so it will receive funding.  Long story short, we really connected and he wants me to speak to the board at some point!  It was the most amazing, thrilling networking I’ve ever done.  And I realized one thing.  I was passionate. I cared.  I was honest.  I was me 105%.  That's the thing about camp...

The next day was the day of the show and GALA Day!  I had my alumni meeting, and then we attended the auction which was completely overwhelmingly powerful!  One of my old counselors, Bud was there, so I sat by him (Aka Calvin Trillin

Keith Richards auctioned off a guitar that went for $30,000 (which one of my friends and I had to help set up earlier in the day!  Ahem…) 

Sandy Kofax (who I had mingled with earlier and had NO IDEA ….I fail) auctioned off a signed bottle of champagne he won in the World Series.  Alec Baldwin was there hanging out and bid $12,000 which he ended up giving to the guy who was bidding against him.

Among other things, we got the most choked up when a poster of Paul Newman in Exodus had speed fire bidding and went for $30,000.  Remember- all of the money made goes to the camp, so kids with serious illnesses can attend for free. You really have to be there to understand the power of it all, but it was such an amazing experience, I was so thrilled to be a part of it. 

When it was time for the show, we ended up being in the third show, between Sandy Kofax (who by now I knew pretty well!)…and Lissy Newman…and her kids.  Making them the Newman grandchildren.  The show was incredible.  It was such a thrill to be on the other side of the stage and to see what happened in the audience.  It was so incredible to be seeing my baby sister who has been doing camp fundraisers since she was four, up there on stage, now transformed into a chorus line showgirl sharing a stage with Bette Midler.  Not to mention that when I was four, my mom and I used to dance in her bedroom to Bette Midler… now we were watching our baby up there singing with her!  I kept elbowing my mom saying “did ya ever think!!?!!!”

At one point, Lissy got up and gave a speech on behalf of her family.  She didn’t intend too, but she knew she had too.  I cried harder than I had cried all day.  Later that night I saw her in the dining hall and talked to her.  I told her I was so happy she could be there, and it was so important that those blue eyes could have a presence there that night.

After the show, I bypassed the masses and just went back stage to see my baby sis.  The only person guarding the door was Matt (my Anthony Rapp sound guy) and he said “uh, I dunno, you guys have pretty much been here for the run… go ahead!”  I got to the green room right as Bette was finishing taking pics with the kids, and I swooped in to congratulate my sister on an amazing job.  I was so proud of her.  It has always been us, but this was ALL HER.  And she rocked it

The next morning there was breakfast to be had with Jim Naughton and his family, and John Pizzarelli and his lovely daughter Maddie (who reminds me so much of Maisy!)  He is married to Jessica Molaskey (Songs for a New World anyone?) and they are the most enjoyable, down to earth people ever!  They were incredible performers too.  I got to thank them for being a part of the gala, and it was so cool.  I think that’s another thing about camp is how it is so humanizing and really lets you just get to know celebs like regular people….cause…well they are!

So… now I’m home.
and a little lost.
The more I travel and do fabulous things I realize THAT’S where I’m at home.  I like being known, I like doing big things.  It’s starting to really hit me that people say, when I tell them I’m from Maine “…you’re so much more than that!”  I’m starting to believe it myself.

I know, I know everything will happen when it’s meant to, but I just felt something so powerful… I don’t think we have seen the last of each other!  Even if I have to pay $1500 to go to another gala, I’ll do it.  I need to be there.  I need that sense of fulfillment that I don’t get anywhere else.
I guess bottom line, I just realized, once again what is really important, that I AM a big deal, and that I shouldn’t let silly Maine drama get me down.  I have great things going for me.  People know who I am, and some day, when I’m ready, all my ducks will fall in line and I WILL end up where I’m meant to be, doing what I’m meant to do.

Everything else… is only for now ;-)

xoxo