Friday Favorites 5.20.16

When I relaunched this blog two years ago, I decided it was going to be a balance of all aspects of my life.   Well, I don’t know about you, but that last entry made my head hurt, so I think it’s time for something a little more fun.  How about some Friday Favorites?

Ok.  I thought so.  Here’s a list of random things I’m loving recently!

1.     This box of K-cups.

Seriously though.  I bought this random box of Kcups because I like getting to pick a new flavor every day instead of being limited to 24 of the same flavor I may or may not be in the mood for, and since my favorite local small business coffee dealer Big Cats Coffee (out of New England) is no longer able to customize boxes, I went to Amazon.   This box has so many brands and flavors I had never even heard of, including Friendly’s ice cream flavors like Vienna Mocha Chunk! It's just like going out with my family after a dance recital!  Every morning is a treat, and I actually have found myself spending less at Starbucks, because I can have an even better cup of coffee in the office!  Bam!

2.     These Kenneth Cole boots

There is actually a funny story here, because I didn’t buy them.  I have not bought shoes in quite some time, and have recently found myself regretting some of the intense purging I did before the move.  Ugh.  I was at work the other day, and a colleague of mine stopped me in the hall and said, “Mallory, can I ask you a weird question?  What size do you wear… like where do you shop?”  Trust me, on the scale of weird questions I have received, that’s like a .5.   She went on to explain she had a daughter who had outgrown some of her shoes and clothes and they were really nice and she was wondering if I would like to try them on and see what I wanted before she tried to sell or get rid of the rest.  WELL YES, AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.  She brought a bag of shoes a couple days later and I sat awkwardly in my cube with no shame, trying on various pink winter boots, flip flops and these babies.  The thing I love about them is they are so comfortable, AND they both zip up all the way.  I have a few other pairs of black zippy boots and while my Fryes are also super comfortable, I swear I have one calf that’s bigger than the other, and one won’t zip all the way.  So thanks Kenneth Cole, and my dear friend Gina for these beauties!  My awkward calves are so grateful!

4.  Vanderpump Rules

I am so sorry if you are a person who used to have respect for me, but this show has been my existence for like the last month and I am totally in a show hole.  I even began dreaming about these people like they were my friends and that Lisa Vanderpump was my boss. Let me be honest with you.  This is pure trash with people that I have zero respect for.  Except, I basically want their lives.  Nobody in the world could ever drink that much or speak to their boss the way they do and still have a job, let alone get to take a week off here and there to go to Vegas or Hawaii EVERY time a staff member has a birthday.  But they do.  And they’re models and have gorgeous apartments and it’s L/A and just… I CANNOT STOP WATCHING.  Lucky for me, there is talk of Season 5, and I have been filling the void with the podcast of our favorite beauty/villain, Straight up with Stassi.  So there’s that.  Also, my NY housewives are back, so it’s not a total show hole.  Sigh.

5.   My license picture

Let’s talk about this for a second.  Are you serious?  I got complimented on my old license and ID picture. Gone are those days! Nobody told me that when we moved here that Colorado was a “no smiling state.”  Bummer dude.  I especially love my new lazy eye that appears when I try to take a selfie, and my perma-cow lick that I cannot get rid of no matter what I do.  So, I guess it is just all things me.  There are plenty of other smiling pictures, and, if I ever do commit a crime (not in the cards….)  I can save them a step.

Happy Friday Y’all.

She Needs Wide Open Spaces

Hello from yet another unintentional blogging hiatus.  I have wanted to write for some time now, but you know… life.

I actually had to laugh because I was reading old entries from last winter, and I shared my frustration with the people who kept telling us, if we didn’t like the weather in Boston, “just move.” 

Well, SURPRISE.  We did.

Greetings, from the Mile High City, Denver Colorado, for the next chapter of this journey.  I know right?

So here’s what happened.  After that cathartic, terrible, eye opening winter in Boston, we realized that our lives were just not what we wanted them to be in that city. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it just turned out to be a lot more than we bargained for, without a lot of pay off (aka, things that made us happy, to balance out the crappier parts)

Another thing that happened, which I will be transparent about, because I don’t think we do enough of that when talking about transition- is that we actually couldn’t really afford to stay in Boston.   Before I graduated, we got the letter that they were raising our rent (as well as taking away things we had, charging for others, etc. but that’s another blog) Owen and I had talked about what we were going to do after I graduated, and although we did not want to “settle,” in Boston, we figured we might be able to make due for another year until we had a reason to relocate.  When the letter came, saying that they wanted us to pay $1950 (with nothing included) for our tiny studio, we made the decision to not sign the lease.  We didn’t know what that meant, or where we would go, but it was the kick in the butt we needed to realize we actually didn’t WANT to stay in Boston.

To dart around a little bit, after we attended AMCHP in January, before Snowmageddon hit, I began to see that I had options.  MCH was my home, my family, and although there were times I actually didn’t feel wanted or needed in Boston, people elsewhere seemed pretty interested that I was graduating in May.  

Not to toot my own horn, but Owen compared it to the NFL draft (toot, toot).

Now, I had been to Denver before, actually it was four years ago today that I was here for some transition work, and met some of the people I’d ultimately be working with (small world), and we had sort of been joking about Team Denver for some time, but after the conference, I really started thinking about it.

• The weather is better
• Closer to Owen’s family, and lifestyle (Boston doesn’t know much in the way of hunting, etc.)
• Amazing support system
• Good health care
• Good economy (thanks weed)
• Potential job opportunities
• Decent transportation
• Nobody we talked to had a single negative  thing to say about Denver (some people actually said it’s the best city in the world.  When we told people we were moving to Boston they asked if we were crazy)

Soon, when people asked what I was doing after graduation, I found myself saying “I think we’re moving to Colorado!”  Before I even realized the words were coming out of my mouth.

The other thing I have to laugh about, is that, in my speeches about transition, I always say how, “We don’t have the luxury of just going somewhere and ‘figuring it out.” Like many young people who simply want to move somewhere, but once again, that’s exactly what we did.

After recovering from a vacation, and multiple graduations, we took the plunge and booked a trip to Denver.  We packed clothes for potential interviews, slept on my best friend’s couch and checked it out for the week.

People once again, laughed and said, “Oh cool, you’re going to out there for a week and find a job, and a place to live?”  and HA. HA.  WE DID.

Ok, not exactly- we didn’t get the first apartment we wanted (transition transparency) because it was a little out of our price range just starting out, but when we got home, we put down a deposit on a studio in the building we had just stayed in and ended up getting approved- ON OUR VERY OWN (without a co-signer) It was  A BREEZE, compared to finding housing in Boston (when I was terrified we actually were adopting a child…there was so much money, paperwork and screening involved)

Here's the before and "after," of our new apartment!

And after some meetings while we were there, I had a job description in my inbox for a position at the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment.  We had to take it as a sign that it was meant to be.

There are a lot of things I want to write about, but I wanted to just let people know WE JUST MOVED before going forward writing about our life here.

 

The weirdest thing about this move has really been how I have felt about it.  For some reason, leaving Boston, I keep having to tell myself, “you have not failed. You are not letting people down.”  For some reason it feels like a foreign concept to people when you say, “We moved because we weren’t happy.”  It seems that since we had an apartment and jobs, we should have been content. Why leave?

But one of my mentors who kept me moving forward in the job hunt/grad school/life in Boston thing, said as I was contemplating this transition, 

“You have not failed.  You actually have achieved ultimate success because you can CHOOSE to really go anywhere and you have built those networks. Nobody else did that for you.”  

And I began to see it differently.

It still feels weird sometimes though, because Boston was everything I THOUGHT I wanted.  It was a life that the “old me,” had created, full of things I thought I wanted to do and changes that the world was not ready to make.

The hardest part of leaving Boston wasn’t about leaving that studio apartment in Allston, or selling our Bob’s discount furniture, it has been about accepting who I am not, and who I really am as I continue to grow up and create my life with Owen.  I achieved my dream, only to realize it was not the dream I wanted anymore.

Now, as I sit here, in a new, much bigger studio, with my pumpkin spice coffee and the sun shining in the window, I realize, the dream is really just beginning, and for the first time, in a really long time.  I’m happy.

What I Did on my Summer Vacation

I took a week off last week.

Like OFF OFF. the last time I recall having a legit VACATION, where I unplugged, and did not touch my work phone, or business e-mail, or call into just one conference call, or say I was “working remotely,”  Was probably when I went to Vegas for my birthday in 2011.  that was probably the last time I felt so refreshed, empowered and rejuvenated by a week off.  And this time, I didn’t go ANYWHERE.

I simply took the week and attacked everything that was stressing me out, and took care of me.  the first big step of this was not taking classes this summer, then once my fellowship finished it was just work.  I’m getting unfortunately accustomed to not having school work, so going back in September is going to be rough.  I have also made some choices however, that I think will benefit my schedule once school does start back up.  I have no classes, or obligations past 5:00 pm, once Fall comes.  Although it gets dark at 4 in the winter, there will be no chasing down transportation, or not getting home until 10 after my classes.  Owen and I can still maintain a reasonable typical work schedule, which I’m psyched about.

SO. What did I do on my summer “vacation?”  Nothing, and everything!

I read whole books, in record time.   For those who think I’m some politically minded, health care addict.  Stop reading this right now. And go away.  When it’s up to me, I’m a shallow, materialistic Vegas party girl.  You know what I read?  Here are my literary confessions:

My Life in Loubies:

A real housewife tale of a shallow chick who wants to marry into money to maintain her shoe addiction, but actually gets an interesting surprise- I was not expecting (and I usually predict these things, because I could probably just write one…)  

Jodie Sweetin’s (that’s right- Stephanie Tanner) memoir about her struggle with addiction and partying in the Hollywood Hills.  I was obsessed and finished it in 2 days.  Full House will never be the same, but yea.  It was good. No regrets.

And the hilarious, superficial, tongue in cheek, “I could’ve written this”  White Girl Problems.  Based on my favorite Twitter account, I buzzed through this one, flipping through my kindle problems on the T, in the back of black uber cars, and ok, even during the Red Sox game.  So sue me.

Along the self care route, I also got my hair and nails done, and get this-  I had lunch with FRIENDS.  TWICE!  And it was “let’s get an overpriced sandwich from the snack bar before class.”  It was afternoon margs, and actual sit down and talk about each other’s lives meals.  I truthfully do not think I have done that since I moved here.  It was AWESOME.

After one, we went SHOPPING!   We plotted which Michael Kors bag we’d get, whether or not it was on sale, swooned over Burberries we’ll probably never owned, and got foundation matched in Sephora and got matching mask variety packs.  It was a true, long overdue girls’ day that just put me on cloud 10.

The other girly outing was centered around interior decorating.  My neighbor, LEND classmate, and dear friend and I did some damage at TJ Maxx  then went to town on the Element Studio.  She made magic happen on our shamefully small closet, I put new 750 thread count sheets on our bed, and we hung things on the wall.  It looks like people live there now, and are not just hoarding a bunch of boxes.  Owen and I are SO happy.  I’m so proud of my little home!  It’s not longer an overpriced studio that was “all we could make work.”  It is our HOME!

Part of the reason (other than the fact that I was keeping myself up at night having OCD about all the stupid piles all over the apartment) was that Owen’s family came to visit, which was primarily my reason for taking the week off at all!  And man, did we see the city!  We went to a Sox game, a duck tour (so fun!!!! Can’t believe it took us so long), went to the aquarium, are planning to eat in the North End, and spent the fourth on a harbor dinner cruise!  It has been wonderful, and it is so nice to really know where we are now, and how to live here!  It was such a good feeling to really host people, and show them our city, and not just be like “well… I think this is nearby, it just may take us all day to get there.  We didn’t even go in a circle ONCE.

In addition to all of the above, I accomplished one other REAL success.  I managed to address, attend, or schedule, every. single. medical appointment or obligation that I had outstanding.  We’re talking, PCP, eye doctor, dentist, iron infusion, GI speciality, started medicine for completely life ruining stomach issues, and I even took the ultimate self care measure of getting a therapist, who I managed to see TWICE, just during my time off.  I believe in being super transparent about addressing mental health needs, because EVERYBODY has them.  It has been fantastic, and I have not felt this good in a long time!

So bam.  For all those times that there were not enough hours in the day, I finally just buckled down and stopped making excuses.  I can check all of those off the list, and basically, I should win some sort of prize.

Today I am back to work, but I am calm, comfortable, tan, and confident.  I am ready to lean into my new role, and this second half of summer.  I am taking care of me, and it is amazing how the rest can fall into place.  One thing I have learned over the last few years, is, as urgent as everything may feel, at the end of the day, if everything else were to go away, all you have is yourself, and if you’re not happy in that solitude, you need do some re-arranging.

Here’s to a happy, healthy, zentastic summer.

xoxo.

A Night in Room 506

Things have really been picking up for us!  Owen is doing an internship, supporting with fundraising, and social media.   In addition to my “Day job,” which is undergoing a serious transformation because the whole organization is restructuring (a good thing), Face Forward is in full swing, and it looks like we are going to have an amazing turn out this year!!

Because of all of this, we have had some days where we had an obscene amount of things to accomplish.  One day, a couple of weeks ago, I had to bounce from meeting to meeting, and then switch gears for an event, and then a concert that Owen and I were going to, at House of Blues.

I must say, I was really proud of how this day went.  It was the first time in a long time, I have had to be in my multiple roles in one day, and I was able to feel fully present at every single piece of the day.  Then, at a certain point, I made one last phone call, and made the decision it was time to put it away.  Owen and I had the opportunity to debrief a little and unwind at the open house, I wisely remembered to actually print our tickets for the concert, and we took the train down to Fenway.

Come to find out, the concert started an hour after I thought it did, so we actually had even more time, but it worked out.  We had awesome “ADA” seating, high up, with a private bar, and a great view.  We weren’t next to the stage this time, which worked out because parts of the concert were SUPER loud (or I’m just old.  Those kids and their damn rock and roll!)

It was a fun night.  I found myself doing a lot of “Oooooh! I remember this song!  I didn’t know they sang this!”  And enjoying a ton of high school nostalgia, and basking in chart toppers that graced the ORIGINAL Now Album (yes, kids, BEFORE there was even a number in the title… I think they’re up to 51 now?)

 

After the show, we both felt remarkably energized, and I was starving.  Usually, when I’m going to a show, I like to get dinner before hand, and transition a little better than bolting from a work event, but we had done it, and now we wanted food.  No big deal I figured, these crazy kids go out all the time and now the T is open late!  Let’s do it!  (Side note- we did not even have a drink during the concert, all of these decisions were made at full mental capacity…. Just saying)

We settled into one of our favorite places, Boston Beerworks, and enjoyed sandwiches and their epic sour cream and chive fries, before heading back towards the B line to go home. 

We arrived at the elevator in Kenmore Square and hit the button.  It didn’t light up.  We hit it again.  And again.  Nothing.  Both of our phones were dead at this point, so I asked a kid nearby what time it was, and he informed me it was 12:38.

“I don’t get it.  It’s open later, isn’t it?”

Then we realized the gate to the stairs leading to the train was also closed and locked.  Oh no.

Of course, at this point, I also had my old/new completely NOT portable scooter, so there went any idea of ubering, and we also had NO phones to even complete such a task.

The funny thing is, a couple of years ago this probably would have ruined our night, caused panic attacks and we would’ve made some foolish decision like walking the two miles home because “it’s not that far.”  But at this point in the game, we just looked at each other, laughed and went “What the hell are we supposed to do?”

Luckily, we were very centrally located.  We were still near all the bars of Fenway, there were other people around, and there was a hotel right across the street.

“There’s a bus that stops here.  We can ask the hotel where it goes, at least.  There’s that.”

Without having much other choice we headed into the (ritzy, historical) Hotel Commonwealth to beg for a brief lesson in MBTA since we have only taken a bus once in the 2 years we have lived here.  Luckily, we did discover that the hotel was accessible, the woman was pleasant, AND it smelled delicious.

She looked up the bus schedule and told us that there was a bus arriving in 6 minutes, which would eventually end up a couple blocks from our house!  Perfect.  So we went back outside and waited.

Soon a bus pulled up, far away from the curb, and we watched anxiously as the driver turned off the ignition…. Put his coat on…. Shut the doors to the bus…. And left.

The bus was silent, and dark. The street was dark, and it was almost 2 a.m. at this point.  

We looked at each other.

After thinking for a minute we concluded we had two options.  “Well… the hotel is right there, so let’s see if they can call us an accessible cab, and we can actually get home.   Or, I mean, I guess we could just see if they have a room.”

Here we were, two miles from our home, both having to work in the morning, completely stranded, with no way to get in touch with anyone.  Planning FAIL.

We headed back into the hotel and waited sheepishly while the woman at the front desk finished with the phone call she was making.  Once again she was super kind to us, and called about a wheelchair accessible cab for us, before even asking if we wanted to stay, which I thought was great. 

Unfortunately, the accessible cab would’ve taken “around a 2 hour wait.”  TWO HOURS. On a Thursday night at 2 a.m.  What?  I also had this terrible image of an “accessible cab,” arriving, at 4 a.m. and not actually being what we needed, and we would’ve had sat there for 2 hours, when we could have been, oh you know, sleeping.

Had it been early, we probably would’ve challenged our city and seen what arrived, but at this point I just wanted a bed.

“Ok then, do you have a room?”

“We have one room left actually, with 2 beds, but it’s not accessible, is that going to be a problem?”

No, Ma’am.  The problem has already occurred.  The problem would be sleeping in Kenmore Square, since we apparently can’t read fine print on new transportation policy.

A few minutes later we were checking into a GORGEOUS, historical, non- ADA room at the Hotel Commonwealth.  Truth be told, the “lack” of accessibility really didn’t matter, because the room was huge. 

The other funny thing, of course, cause… oh hey universe, you so funny.  The room was #506.  Our apartment number?  506.

Almost home… so close, but SO FAR!

Without having toothbrushes or any other clothes but those on our back, we set the alarm clock on the bedside Kindle Fire, and climbed into the cloud of an Eloise style bed, and passed out.

And slept like a dream.  When the sun was up, we turned around, checked out of our room, and headed home to begin the day.

I’m considering a business investment, because the hotel got a stellar review.

Our solution?  Crazy? perhaps.  Impulsive?  Maybe.  But we were able to make it happen, it meant that we got home safely, and were able to take care of ourselves to be able to be productive the next day.

Lesson learned.  No regrets.