You were bound to Fly Away

The song in Starbucks right now, “You were bound to fly away…”

I can’t write this stuff.

Except that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  So indulge me.

There is no more denying it.  Fall is HERE.  You know how I know?

PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE.

Also, I’m wearing my Ralph Lauren fleece, because it’s cold.  And school. 

Which brings me here right now. 

This semester I’m taking a class at the College of Communications at BU, which I’m so excited for.  I get to write again and be creative, and think about other things besides how sad and unhealthy the world is.

Unfortunately, this class begins at 9:00 a.m., which for anyone who lives in Boston, knows is just ridiculous to even try to be anywhere for which is why most people just sleep at their offices (or get there at like 5….) or roll in around 10:30 when all the BU students are already where they need to be, and the B line becomes normal again.

Anyway-  the Comm School is 1.8 miles from my house… it takes me exactly 30 minutes to get to work which is downtown, at the very last stop of the train, so why would it take LONGER to get 4 four stops?  BECAUSE THE B LINE.

But also- because Scooter.  So whereas an average BU Basic would be able to squeeze in any old spot on the  train so they have to force the doors close- I don’t have such a luxury.  Last week, I left my house around 8:00… thinking I might even have time to grab a coffee, and THREE TRAINS LATER, I am on my scooter, in the middle of hoards of people, not even in the parking spot, or able to reach the button to tell the driver when I need to get off.  Total anarchy. I honestly went all 2 years ago and almost started weeping.  But whatever. #Blineproblems.  We’ll get there.

I’m also moderately determined to not need to have the “accommodations talk” with my new professor.  I’m not afraid to talk to her, and I’m no longer afraid to ask for help, but I don’t want to play the “scooter card.” I’m sure it will come up, and honestly that’s what I want to do my story on for her class- about what it’s like for a non-walking individual to get around this god forsaken city, and how it is NOT the fault of MBTA, but the general public who think that standing in your way staring at you while you’re trying to get on the train is actually going to make the ramp come down. 

I just want to show that I got this… I’ve lived here for 2 years, and go to work on the B line every day.  If I have to leave the house at 7:30 every Wednesday then gross, but I just need to put on my big girl journalism panties and roll with it.

But for now… here I am.  Drinking a latte, writing on my sparkly MacBook, remembering who I am, and what I’m passionate about, in a CITY.  Full of opportunity and people who want me to succeed.

Seven years ago, the beginning of September, I sat in a coffee shop in the small town of Farmington, with a journal, and tried to convince myself it was the same thing.  It wasn’t, and I knew it… but it was a step in the journey.  And here I am.

There is so so much more to write about, as I venture into this fall, feeling like the best Me I have ever been, but I just had to capture this moment and share it.  For all of my young college almost graduates who are cranking on your last year, just remember- the dream is out there.  You just gotta find it… and it may not be what others think it is.  Keep on, keeping on.

Love you all. 

M.

Teaser Blog

There is SO much to write about, and it will happen.  I haven't even really been putting it off, i've just actually been doing some grown up prioritizing and have had SO much going on.

Last week I had 3 assignments due the same day, and I have ONE MORE assignment before the academic year is over for me.
 My BUSPH class ended like 3 weeks ago, and my fellowship is STILL happening until June 13.  Ri. Diculous.  I am so done, I can't even make werds anymore.  And I've had other random stuff come up, like writing things for other people, which is remarkably more challenging than just rambling in my safe little corner of the cyber-verse

I promise though, lots to come, and I will have lots to write this SUMMER. Since it's the first time in 2 years I will not be taking classes!!!!

So hang tight, and be sure to come back soon.   We went to Baltimore and back, had some scooter adventures, went to BOSTON CALLING, which was epic upon epic.

and apparently I have a birthday soon.  This silly entry is basically serving as a reminder to myself to write about all these things, and not forget anything!


CRAZY.

All right.  Thanks all for dealing with my madness!   So. close. to the end!!!!!

New Bloggitude and True Confessions:

I started this blog in 2005.  I can't believe it turns 9 in a few months! 

Needless to say, I was a completely different person back then. I feel like I'm a completely different person every time I take a long hiatus from writing.  After my last entry my mom asked me, "Aren't you going to do a catch up post?"

Well. The truth is... It has almost been A YEAR. I can't effectively "catch up" on everything that has happened.  But what I can do, is write about what I (and we) have learned and what I want to do with this blog moving forward!

What I will say, is, it has been an AMAZING year. We have come SO far, learned so much, and I really feel like we are living life here- not just figured out how to safely exist and how to not fail school. 

Over the last year, and specifically since the fall, I have had some serious realizations.  Safe to say some huge, possibly terrifying realizations that feel almost like confessions. Some of which may change people's perspectives of me. If that's the case, I probably have already unfriended you anyway.  I also believe the key to anything- policy change, program success, any healthy relationship, is honesty and transparency.  I can no longer maintain this blog if I don't acknowledge my whole self and how I feel about things

In September I began what's called a LEND fellowship.  It stands for Leadership Education in Neurodevelopmental Disabilities.  It is an intense 9 month program in which we learn about policy, leadership, genetics, law, etc all having to do with disabilities. It is Super intense but also wonderful, and it has brought me some incredible friends, colleagues and opportunities to make these self discoveries.  

So let's just get to the nitty gritty.

True Confessions of 2014:

1. I had no idea what "public health" was when I applied, got accepted, or began attending school. 

I suppose I should have taken a hint from myself when my grad school essay was about how I am not entirely sure how I ended up here and I was never one of those people who grew up with the goal of wanting to "help people."

Beyond children with special health needs, I had no idea what public health was. I truly wonder at this point if I were not at BUSPH with some amazing mentors, if I would still be in the program.  I have no interest in babies, and I often struggle with the idea that it somehow became my job to "change the world". Simply because of the path I followed to get where I am.

I have had conversations with some of my peers who have disabilities who have asked the same thing. How did we get in roles working with other people with severe disabilities (with little to NO training) simply because of what we have accomplished in our own life?  Does it make us bad people to say "um, white flag! This is not what I want to do!"  How is it different from a non-disabled person saying "I want to go into finance, not be a doctor?"

I think there is a certain snowball effect of advocacy in which people speak at one conference or show competence in one area (even just advocating for themselves) and others rely on them to be the voice of a generation.  No pressure or anything.

Are there different expectations for people with disabilities to "change the world?"

Recently I have been asked in a lot of my classes "what are your values?  What do you stand for?"  

*cue FUN music video*

And yet there is also an unspoken expectation that these values must be similar to everyone else who is here to "change the world"....

2.  Sometimes it is just too much. 

This is MY LIFE.  To quote someone I learned a whole lot from this past winter when we were discussing advocacy and looking for accessible housing, she had told her real estate broker, "this isn't fun for me.  I just want to be able to get in the door"

And I realized that sort of summed up my career. I am not in health care/ advocacy because I think it's fun or interesting. I am here because I have HAD TO BE. I am coming at this from a whole different perspective than my classmates. I didn't pick up a grad school brochure and decided I wanted to go to food banks or join the peace corps. I am here because of the work I have had to do FOR ME.  And when I am done my jobs of changing the system and my classes of learning about health disparities, I can't PUT IT AWAY. I then have to manage my own health care.

Recently we were told an assignment was supposed to be "fun."  It was something I already do for a career and often get compensated for.  Pretending to help an agency is not fun for me. It's a way of life. 

And it gets exhausting. And it's consuming. And it's depressing.

It makes you forget who you are. I know many people in the disability community who cannot answer "well, what do you LIKE to do?"  Because we are not asked that anymore. 

I also know people who cannot have a conversation or a Facebook post that is not about civil rights, access or how everyone is ignorant about disabilities.  And frankly, I'm just over it. 

3.  Now that this blog has begun to resemble a total off the hook rant, I want to tell you my purpose moving forward. 

And so everyone doesn't now think I'm a heartless bitch, ice queen (if you do... Again, I respect your opinion) 

What do I believe in?

• I believe that all young people should be able to do whatever they want for their future.
• I believe in self care for all the people changing the world, not just the execs who can afford "work retreats"
• I want all young divas and gentlemen to feel loved and attractive no matter if they are in a wheelchair or not.
• I believe people should have access adequate healthcare and insurance without being completely broken by the process of trying to obtain it.
• I want to be able to pick up an issue of Glamour or The New Yorker without being judged for my decision. 

I want to recreate this blog. I want to tell you what I believe in, and I want you to know ME.  I want to celebrate and enjoy how far I have come instead of burning myself out on far we have to go. (Because trust me... I know)

Owen and I have made a goal that this summer will be about pursuing our interests, discovering what we "like to do" and who we are outside the "advocacy world."  And I want to take all of you along for the ride.

Hi. My name is Mallory.  I am getting my masters in Public Health at Boston University.  

I live with my amazing boyfriend of almost 3 years.  I love shopping, fashion, sushi, traveling or having a good staycation in our incredible city.  My family lives in Maine, and I now am in a long distance relationship with my diva cat Muffy. 

Summer is my favorite season, and I have been told I seem happier when I'm blonde.

We like going to movies, drinking beer, and making the most of every moment. 

Oh.... And sometimes we need to find an elevator.

.... I present to you.

Curb Cuts & Cocktails.

Xoxo

Boston Begins!

No, I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
Well - not "simply"
'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
- Galinda

You know what's a crazy feeling?

When you look around, and wake up each day, and realize that you are living the life you have dreamed about, written about, ached for, and cried over for 10+ years.

I remember, there is a journal entry I wrote during my first week at UMF, trying to convince myself that had happened, and it was a huge step for me to be sitting in a coffee shop writing in my hipster journal, but it wasn't IT.

Now... I'm sitting here, writing, drinking coffee, with an amazing view of the CITY from our incredible studio apartment window.   And there's a pretty incredible guy here with me, which wasn't even part of the equation back then.  God, that would just be too much, you can't have it all right?

But I'm here.  We're here.  We got here.   

Of course, it isn't quite Carrie Bradshaw glamourous.  I'm not flitting about in 5" manolos, and I curse the city as my scooter jostles across the T tracks, and I get caught in the rain without the luxury of a Burberry umbrella, but it's my life, and I have minimal complaints at the moment.

I started classes yesterday, and I'm pretty sure I FELT my brain smile.   They're speaking my language!  The professors are the most real, wonderful, supportive, sarcastic, funny people I have ever encountered in "this work."  They have big dreams for us, and they're ready to train us to be part of the public health world changing team.   I sat in a library yesterday.  I talked about marketing campaigns.  I ate lunch with people that then became my friends.  I showed my BU ID to get into one of the med school buildings.  I sat in the front row of a lecture hall to discuss legal cases!!!!

I know, I know.  It will get challenging, and truly, I'm prepared for that, but knowing so many people are here to support, and want us to succeed seems to take the edge off a little bit, and for now I just am letting myself breathe in the scent of academia and ENJOY THE MOMENT.  I have been on autopilot for so long, pushing myself to make this happen, it's so amazing when I can just look around, or sit on the roof deck of our apartment and look out over the skyline and go, "This is real."

...it still doesn't feel it, but I truly believe that I was brought here because there is work to be done and it is part of my journey (and Owen's) to lead those efforts, and make big changes.  Someone's got to.  I've always been that girl to raise her hand and say the thing that everyone is thinking but is afraid to say, and that's not changing, and now I am in the midst of people (brilliant people) who want to hear it!

Aside from changing the world, Owen and I have also been warmly received socially, and have had some wonderful times with Team Boston already!  We've had dinner dates, spent a night on the cape during the Falmouth Road Race, and taken multiple trips to IKEA, and adventures around Boston just to get the feel for the neighborhood.  We are absolutely not alone here, which adds a level of comfort and reassurance to this whole experience.  We have friends, we have a support team.  We're gonna be okay  (mom and dad ;)   )

Owen also got to experience Maine, meet the rest of my family AND see camp!

We have covered many bases in a very short time! 

So here we are.  It's been a lot, but we're settling in, and school (and work) is rolling. We are so grateful for everyone who has helped us, or supported us to get here.  We do NOT take for granted that it takes a village!

There will be much more (including a video tour of our apartment)!   Stay tuned! If you are not already following our facebook page, you should:

https://www.facebook.com/OwenandMal

More pictures of our first month!

Weekend in New England!

Let it Grow

“It’s your turn now to show your world now….

Let it grow.”

My gosh, 2 blogs in 2 days.  Who am I?

I wasn’t planning this, but then today happened!  It was Friday the 13^th, and when your name means bad luck, as mine does (The meaning of the name Mallory is Ill-Omened)  you’re a little superstitious, but today could not have been farther from a bad day.

I woke up at 8 on the dot to Lady Gaga’s Edgy of Glory, which on its own makes me want to take on the world, so I “popped right up.”  Then after a brief adventure discovering we had no more K cups, and an unsurprising failed attempt with the coffee pot I found a blessed pack of Starbucks Cinnamon Spice Via.

I had a meeting with the Next Step team, where we discussed the upcoming Face Forward conference for 2012, and my boys Duy and Kepler, educated me on the following song.  Clearly I need to get out more if I’m lacking on the pop culture scene!

Then I made some phone calls I had been dreading, which felt good, and then- as if I was having any doubts about the way things are going (which, after the last entry, I confirmed I don’t…) the universe kicked it up a notch.

-       I got my financial aid info from BU a week earlier than they thought it would be in, and even though dollar sign’s make my head spin it was reassuring to see even that piece is coming together and may not be as horrifying as it once felt.

-     Then I received an email from the MCH concentration folks, saying they wanted to discuss my goals, and plans with me, so I could best plan for my future.  I thought it was nice, and I am excited to have that conversation too.  But then as I went back and read the e-mail again it said, “It was wonderful to have you on campus last Friday, and we would like to continue the conversation, as the Admissions Departments has told us you are one of our most outstanding applicants.  *Jaw drop*

  Granted- I am coming from quite a bit of experience, but a the end of the day, sometimes it feels like my resume doesn’t reflect my life (sometimes it does, it’s weird).  But anyway, that was just incredible to see, and I can’t wait to write back to her and tell her I’m totally coming there and all the ideas that are swimming around in my dizzy little brain.

Just as I was coming down from that, the housing people called me (I was actually still in my bathrobe from taking a shower, TMI, but I knew I had to get at it when I could) And we talked about our situation and they showed me the grad building with accessible units and connected me to the realty person for the complex!  Nothing is in stone, but we talked about a time line and I submitted the application, and maybe I can go look at one in the next couple of weeks. It’s small, but really adorable, and would be perfect at least until Owen and I get established and know the city a little better.  I really am crossing my fingers this could be it!!!

Then we went to see The Lorax.  Which I did not think much of, as it wasn’t really my favorite book growing up.  I guess I sort of forgot what it was about, or thought it was about earth loving hippies or whatever.  But it was brilliant.  And we saw it in 3D which just totally turned me into a 6 year old.

I advise everyone to go see it and I won’t give any spoilers except that it was very timely, and these last couple of days have just been very serendipitous.  I was just sort of watching it, enjoying it, thinking of how, yea, it’s a little bit relevant, and one thing you should know about me, is I do tend to find symbolism in many things, when big things are happening in my life, but some are just blatant.  I also just found so much joy in the fact that there are short jokes throughout the whole thing because the Lorax is a teeny thing...who happens to know his stuff.

Then towards the end, after hearing the story of the demise of the Truffular Trees, they show a rock that says “Unless.”   

Which leads to the Onceler realizing what this boy was brought to teach him.  "Unless someone like YOU cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." 

And I suddenly remembered the quote, and although we were one of two groups in the theater, I finished the line out loud,  “it’s not.”  Because obviously, the Onceler was talking to me.

Someone has to plant the seed, and bring awareness to how things need to be, and doing what’s right…. Or eventually, we all WILL be paying for air.

I can no longer even try to deny that my path is being laid out for me before my eyes…

So of course the last two days totally caught up with me, and much to the horror (or confusion) of the pre-teens we brought the see the movie, tears streamed from behind my goofy 3-D glasses. “It’s your turn now, to show your world now…”

It is just one tiny seed

But it's all we really need...

"Just Believe, and you're almost there...."

 Silly maybe, but see the movie… preferably before the election. 

The Epic Adventures of 2012!

I have been reading a couple of my favorite blogs lately and it has reminded me of how delinquent I have been as a blogger.  Mostly because I've been pretty on top of everything else, and my life has sort of exploded lately, but I still wish I could get better about writing.  I think I will really try.

I am starting to realize that if I spent as much time writing as I spend playing ridiculous games on Facebook, my book would be written 7 times over.  So, it's time.  I can't get any further on Bubble Witch Saga, and I can beat a hot shot board in 2 days. Time to buckle down.

Also, when I think about how dedicated I was about studying for my GRE's, I realize I can really make the time when I make something my goal.  So bam.  Blogging/writing. It's going on my calendar.  Then I can prevent epic entries covering a year.  Haha.  I say that every time!

With that-  let's recap what has happened since last time I wrote (well the big stuff anyway…).

- I gained another family. I went to NV to visit Owen's family twice, and well...both trips went by way too fast, I have never felt so comfortable with a group of people in my life, and I can't wait to see them again.  We truly are all cut out of the same mold, and I now have 2 little princesses in training that I get to Skype with on my "Ipatch"  I can't wait for the day when the Cyrs and Erquiaga/Diegels are on the same turf to get to know each other.  The world better watch out!!

(one of those favorite blogs is the adventures of these princesses, their family, and a new pug  http://shesahoot.blogspot.com/  )

- I went to Vegas a couple times and a bunch of other places.  I had an epic month in October with a sort of change of plans Vegas trip that resulted in a missed flight home, a new tattoo and one of the best trips of my life.  I had come from DC, and Denver the weeks before, where I had been going strong and inspired about all things Got Transition.   Work hard, play hard.  And we did.

 

- I APPLIED AND GOT ACCEPTED TO GRAD SCHOOL.  

Although the acceptance piece has been a reality for about a month, I still am having the realization of "Wow.  I can't believe I did it!" and I probably will continue to!

 For a couple years now I have been saying "I will take my GRE's,  I think I'm going to look into going back to school."  but as we dropped Maisy off at her college at the end of this summer, when I saw how much my heart ached just by being on the grounds of a beautiful place of learning, I knew I was done joking around.

I also have been saying... probably for about 10 years.  I have to get out of Maine.  It wasn't time yet, and I knew that in my heart. I was meant to be here, to grow, and to see what else was out there.  So I did.  Eventually my friends started saying it too.  "You're more than this.  Why are you even still here?"  then slowly, my life grew beyond Maine too, and it wasn't just the big city dreams of Broadway shows and public transportation (haha can you even imagine???)  pieces of my heart in California, Washington DC, Connecticut, Colorado, Boston, Nevada....

So I did it.  I looked at programs all over the country, and thought about what I wanted to do.  Where I wanted to be.  The list began as being pretty extensive.  Then I got real, and thought about where I could really see myself living.  Where we're the real opportunities of stuff I was already doing?  Where were my circles of support.  The list got shorter.  I did look at some online programs too, but I realized, this was my reason to move on, I want the opportunities that came with going to school, not just the letters after my name.

I memorized deadlines, got all the pieces together, wrote an essay, and Owen virtually held my hand, as I clicked send.

Last Friday I attended an accepted student day at Boston University, and FELT IT.  That feeling, that magazines and guidance counselors tell you you'll feel.... That I never felt before.  The day was amazing, the people were receptive and fun and answered questions big and small, and then there was a reception, where looking out over the beautiful Boston skyline, I really accepted it was happening.  It's time. 

Don't take this the wrong way Maine, I'm glad I'll be so close, and I know I'll always have a home here, but as one of my heroes PR guru Kelly Cutrone says, "When you're the most happening person at the party, it's time to leave."

So here I am, slam dunking my red solo cup, and heading on to the next thing!

Here’s another quote- by the one and only, JRB.  "I wrote a story, and we changed the ending." (The Last Five Years)

I realized recently, that when I was younger, I didn't plan my fairy tale wedding.  When I was in middle and high school I thought it was dumb to ruin a really good notebook with I heart "guy of the moment” only to scribble it out for someone else's name.  I had accepted early on that I was not going to settle or find my soulmate in those settings, and I was fine with that.  I was fine if I never did.  I was content with my goals of observing life in coffee shops writing my memoirs. 

I'm still ok with that.... But now I may (better...)  be bringing home a caramel macchiato to someone in my Boston apartment, instead of just going home to feed the cat.  I'm still me, but now my fairy tale has different characters (an AMAZING lineup I might add)  and maybe there will be a white dress at the end of it, but it's not already planned, waiting for someone to play the part.  It will be a part of the journey that is truly reflective of our lives and our amazing adventure.

Yep.  It will be a year in May, and Owen is going to be a New England boy.  It will be a huge transition for all of us, but I am so excited to not be facing a new city alone, and we are both ready for new beginnings.  And it is JUST the beginning!

Stay tuned!

(Yep, we have a fan page!)

http://www.facebook.com/owenandmal

Back to School (after Irene)

(post dated- 8/28)

So there’s this hurricane…

The power’s back, but cable isn’t. Everyone is napping, since we mostly don’t remember how to interact without being able to fall back on internet access. But sleep and I have not been getting along so well lately, and I figure what better opportunity to write than right now, where it’s just the sound of my keys, and the wind and rain (hey tree… please don’t come through our sliding glass door. That’d be a total buzz kill)

I feel like so much has happened, and yet, not a whole lot has changed. Maisy is leaving in a matter of days, and that’s sort of just sinking in for both of us. Last month we had our first sister solo adventure that we have only been talking about since she was like 12! We took the train into Boston for the Britney Spears/Nicki Minaj concert.

All you haters can just stop right there. They are two very talented women who have had some rough times and have come out on top. Much like some other people I know…

There was also a crazy surprise as Pauly D opened for them. Judge away, we did, but man it got the crowd going, so rock on Mr. Delveccio.

Not only was the show jaw-droppingly amazing (literally, my mind was blown. What an experience) but it was just so good to have my sister all to myself for 2 days. We did everything girly, with no agenda, spoiled ourselves with room service after the show, and even met up with one of our loves from camp (you’ll see this is a pattern). It was just perfect. And I think we have convinced ourselves that perhaps the Cyrs can travel without tragedy striking!

Now I’m getting ready to send her off to college, and only is she going to a wonderful school with wonderful standings, but she is also already taking time off to go to DC for an anti-bullying summit with the feds, and may speak on a panel. I could not be more proud of her for everything that is about to come her way. It does feel like just yesterday she was a little girl riding behind me on my scooter, now we’re both flying back and forth to our nation’s capitol to tell people what’s up. Eat your heart out Kim & Kourtney, Mal and Maisy are taking DC.

I know she’ll do so well in college, but I can’t help but have so many mixed feelings as I know the ups and downs that will come with it. I know she is a smart girl, but to have to relive all the mistakes I already made once…. Oy vey…. I feel old already. But kudos Miss Maisy, the world is yours and I (and I know you’re entire family and following) is SO proud of what you have become, and all that you will do!

In other news, my life is simply speeding along as it tends to. Although I thought September would be mostly spent at home, I am excited to be invited to a 3 day training in Atlanta on cultural and linguistic competence. This is with the same group that I happened to shut down Disneyland with, so I’m excited for everything about it!

Last week, I also went to our actual home base for Got Transition? And was able to have some face-to-face time with the core team. Granted, I could do an entire blog about the pros and cons of working from home, but this was definitely an important opportunity. I got to meet people I had never even met before, be in the same room as my colleagues for several conference calls, and meet our graphic design/marketing team (the stuff I really get excited over). It really jazzed me up to sink my teeth into work this fall and find new ways to take transition to a whole new level (stay tuned for our sure to epic radio show coming at the end of September… Khloe After Dark, you have met your match).

I like to think of fall as a fresh start, even if I am not physically going “back to school,” so I feel really good about where things are at. Grad school process is slowly moving forward, and I’m hoping to have some interviews in a couple of months. Camp gala is in September for my dose of musical theater, and the glamorous side of camp…

Then comes October! Which… is going to be a ball buster, but I’m so excited! October and March have proven to be my killer months but it’s what keeps me going. In October we have:

Reno (more than likely) for non-work related business that will make happier than any other trip in the near future, shortly followed by Denver, for our Learning Collaborative, and maybe some long distance bff catch up, DC for maybe grad school interviewing and our last session with that learning collaborative… then a weekend who knows where… and then, bam, almost Thanksgiving!

To say the least fall is not looking so bad this year…

Lots going on, change is in the air (literally) and I am ready to jump into this new beginning feet first!