So you want to say "Yes to the Dress!"

Unlike most brides who begin planning a wedding, dress shopping was probably what I was least looking forward to. I spent more time scouring photos of styles that might actually work for my body (3’ 9”, a central line I would have to creatively tuck into whatever neckline I chose…) than those I actually liked.  My biggest fear was that I would have my family fly in, we would devote a day to shopping and all leave defeated and disappointed. Well, i am here to tell you that is NOT what happened, and dress shopping was easily one of my favorite memories of the entire wedding planning process!  I thought I would pull together some of my Dos and Don’ts so that all my tiny brides, or differently shaped brides can have a positive experience on your big day (or maybe just make it suck a little less!)

DO your research! A few places I found on Yelp were NOT wheelchair accessible. Regardless of the fact that myself and some of my wedding party required accessibility, I struggle to give my business to places that are accessible to all. I had a list of places I wanted to go when the day came. Come to find out, we only needed one! We went to Luv Bridal in Denver, and they were fantastic from beginning to end. You can read my full review here.

DON’T bring a ton of people. No really. I invited my mom, my sister (Maid of Honor) and one of my bridesmaids who was local and it was perfect!. I did not ask people to fly in, or invite the entire bridal party. Let me let you in on one of the biggest wedding planning secrets you’ll need.  When you invite people… you also invite their opinions.  This place happened to have a limit of how many people could join you, but I just advise bringing people who know YOU and that YOU want to share the moment with. If that’s everyone, great, but you can also meet up with your crew for bottomless brunch after and let them be surprised just like everyone else!

DO advocate. Ugh. So annoying right? I’m the bride, everyone should KNOW what I need!  When you have a disability, you are no stranger to advocacy. Well guess what? You don’t get to put that away when you’re planning a wedding. I took a few minutes to call the bridal salon I had an appointment with and explain that I was not of average height, and what they were working with.  I did NOT do this to ask permission to shop there, or create any sort of pity party.  I wanted them to be aware so they could make informed choices when choosing dresses and make the most of my time AND theirs! They were so wonderful, and acted like this was business as usual for them!

DON’T pop bottles.  I know… I know…. how can I possibly be giving this advice?  I imagined my dress shopping experience to be welcomed with glasses of champagne because, duh… wedding. But it was BYOB, and we didn’t, and I am GLAD! Have you ever decided to have just “a couple glasses of wine” and ordered some weird stuff from Amazon? You want to be in your BEST state of mind. Also, for my ladies with disabilities, standing on that round circle in dresses that don’t fit, you don’t need anything else impairing your balance! Trust me, there will be PLENTY of champs in your future!

DO stick to your budget!

I was terrified to buy a dress.  I know people spend four times our wedding budget on dresses and I was afraid to even try one on!  I was transparent about our budget from the beginning and guess what? My dress was UNDER our budget! It all worked out.  And if it hadn’t? I probably would have kept looking. I know this is a big day folks, but my wedding motto was also “it’s ONE DAY!” You have to pay rent after the wedding! Stick to your guns! I also shopped around for alterations and found an amazing deal going through a local seamstress vs. what the salon wanted to charge me!  Yelp is your friend!

 

DON’T limit yourself to your comfort zone. I went in thinking I knew exactly what I wanted based on what had always worked for me, and what wouldn’t work, but guess what? I tried on a mermaid fit, and guess what? It looked amazing!! It wasn’t what I wanted for the day, but I was shocked to see that something I never thought would work for me kind of did!  

DO be HONEST.  This is your day and your body, and your emotions.  I told my consultant at the very beginning that I was feeling nervous, and dress shopping was not always a positive experience for me. I was NOT looking forward to this day. Because of this, she was always checking in and making sure I was having a good time. If there is a dress you don’t love, SAY IT! You’re the customer!  What don’t you like about it? Be specific, so your team can help find what you love!

DO try a veil. I was CONVINCED I was not going to have a veil, but you see people on these wedding shows put on a veil, and get “all jacked up” and then everyone cries? THAT IS REAL! My consultant found me a veil, and I put it on, and shoot! I was a bride. I definitely took it off for the reception, but it added that touch of glamour I just never imagined.  Even if you just try one one….trust me, your mom wants you to. 

DO let your consultant do their job. Seriously.  It’s great to have ideas and Pinterest photos, but this girl knew what she was doing.  My dress was the last dress she pulled and when I came out of the dressing room, the whole salon gasped and went “THAT ONE.” Now here’s the thing, when I found the stock photo of my dress on the model, I NEVER would have even pinned it. It was nothing like what I had on my “Let’s Get Married” wedding board, but it fit me like a dream. Not only did it fit me, but I could move in it! I could go to the bathroom by myself, and DANCE! It was MY DRESS. 

DO enjoy every moment!  After my day with my “Bride Tribe” I went back to pay off my dress, and pick up my accessories, and I went by myself.  My consultant brought me different tiaras and took photos, and that was when I felt it. My mom cried as soon as I put on the first dress I tried, but I’m a tougher crowd.  Here I was, buying a wedding dress. This was happening!  It my first “bridal” moment.” And I just let myself have it. 

Of course everyone’s day will be different, and it may not be that simple. Maybe you do want to go more than one place (frankly I was sad we only had to go to one store because it was so much fun) but just remember, at the end of the day, whether it’s mermaid, or a ballgown, or a pantsuit whatever make YOU feel beautiful on your big day will be the right choice! 

Brunch, Baseball and Beauty

This past week ended up being pretty epic! It was super busy but also relaxing, enjoyable and the perfect way to kick off spring in Boston!

Sunday was Easter, and as much as I waffled with going back to Maine to spend it with my family, we had just had a weekend in New Hampshire, and frankly, taking the train and organizing all the transportation and getting from point A to point B, is a lot of work, and sometimes counteracts the realization we might actually get from the trip.  So we made the executive decision to stay here and enjoy our own traditions, which we are still figuring out.  Holidays are odd as adults, because I’m realizing so much of our important traditions, I don’t actually believe in the context of.  Don’t get me wrong, I love any excuse to be with family and have a huge dinner, but Easter was sort of like… “well. We don’t have kids, I’m not hiding eggs, and we’re not going to church.”  What does that mean for us?

PAJAMA BRUNCH.  Clearly.

There is a place in the South End we had been trying to get reservations at for awhile now, and when we decided that we were going to be in the city for Easter Sunday, I made us a reservation at Tremont 647!  It was fun to try a new place and we went home comfortably stuffed.  I am learning my ideal religion involves the worshiping of sun and brunch.

Then we had an evening of total spontaneity (well not really, but deciding on Friday, was spontaneous for me) and ended up going to a concert at Brighton Music Hall to see an old school hipster band I liked in college, HelloGoodbye.  

I had seen the sign on my way home from class on Friday and tickets were super cheap, we had nothing that night and we figured, why not!  It ended up being really fun.  At first I was hesitant about the venue, when we were waiting outside in the cold and someone said they would “come get us,” when the doors opened, and then I turned around and saw people at the other door getting wrist bands and going inside.  Sigh.  Good thing we didn’t actually just live life sitting around waiting for people to “come get us!”  So I flagged someone down and we went inside.  The “Accessible” entrance of course totally had a mini bump to get in, and stupid me, in a rush to get inside, stuffed my iPhone in my pocket, and as soon as Scootie and I went over the bump, it fell on the ground and smashed.  Again.  Perfect way to start the night.  Then, as we entered the small venue that was general admission, with no actual seating, we tried to strategize the safest place for us to be.  Granted it wasn’t expected to be a heavy metal show or anything (Actually, it was on 4/20, and I lost count of how many times the word chill was used)  but still, we wanted to be safe.

Just when I was about to just settle in the back by the bar, a staff member came up and asked if we would like to be seated next to the stage.  They made some hipsters get up off the floor and move their stupid backpacks, then tucked us comfortably in a corner inches from the stage and put up a rope so nobody would come in contact with us.

It ended up being a fun show!  We were able to get drinks, move around how we wanted and the crowd wasn’t that unbearable!  Everyone was super nice, and it’s cool that this place is like 2 blocks from our apartment, although it’s definitely a starter venue, as the opening band pulled up in a mini van (ran over the curb) and went in the main entrance where people were waiting.  Excuse me kids, does your mommy know you’re here?

After some steamed buns and egg rolls at our favorite spot, Shang Hai Social Club we went home far later than our usual senior citizen bed time, excited to sleep in the next day because it was

MARATHON MONDAY!

And it was beautiful, and uneventful.  We watched the first couple hours of the race on TV and were amazed by the winners, and the wheelchair elite division, which just astounds me.  Then we went to …you guessed it, BRUNCH!  Because that is the wonderful thing about Marathon Monday.  There is brunch at places that typically would not be open on Monday.  We went to one of our favorite places in Coolidge Corner, where we were able to watch the race right out the window (for more of where our favorite brunch places are- check out my Yelp page here) and we talked about how amazing it is, that we are able to experience all of this, and it is just a part of our neighborhood.  This was a week of just realizing how cool it is that we LIVE here.

After brunch we met up with Team Next Step to cheer on our runners, then hung out for so

me good food and drinks, and had an awesome time just unwinding with the cool kids we’re going to be working with all summer.  Then Owen went out for another round and I came home and enjoyed some home spa goodness and reality TV since I had to go to work the next day.

It was such an incredible day, and although there was a tiny bit of trauma, retracing the path we ventured last year, and seeing footage of the finish, the day went on without a hitch and it was a true depiction of what Boston Strong really is all about.

Thursday was another big Boston milestone for us.  Our very first Red Sox game at Fenway!  And they were playing the Yankees.  A few weeks ago we went to a fundraising event for camp, and on a whim, won the tickets in the silent auction.  As soon as I saw our bid highlighted, I realized the tickets were for specific seats that were most likely not accessible.  THESE are the things you do not think about- but you learn from.  Camp was amazing and were able to arrange it so we could get (awesome) seats and still attend the game!  So we did.  And it was awesome. And FREEZING.  April is NOT warm.  I’m sorry.  I keep thinking, “YAY SPRING” but no… it was not warm.  But between hand warmers, epic layers, and a ginormous DD coffee we made due!  But… I do hope our next game it is above 40 degrees….

This weekend began the process of my spring transformation.  This time of year, I always get so antsy with EVERYTHING. I want to change my hair color, get fit, and move somewhere warm.  Ugh Spring Fever!  While I can’t necessarily do all of that, I took some baby steps to see that I feel my best powering through these last few weeks of school.  First I got my phone fixed at a random kiosk at the mall, got a watch resized that I got for Christmas and haven’t been able to wear!  Then I used a Sephora gift card that has been burning a hole in my pocket to invest in some big girl skin care products. It’s funny, because I’m realizing, even though I am so into beauty and products, I basically use free samples, and whatever is laying around (or things that are given to me, aka LUSH) to wash my face.  Now that I’m in a place to really take care of myself, I decided it was time to take the plunge.

Yesterday it was rainy and gross but I made myself leave and I got a pedicure, and made the decision to get some pre-summer highlights and a hair cut!  When I first started school, I made the big decision to try to get back to my original hair color, and it was torture, but I went a whole year without coloring my hair.  I just babied it, and got it trimmed every 6 weeks.  Now, I’m ready to brighten things up again!  It feels so good!

So with all of that- it is time to move forward!

• 2 more weeks of BU classes, and one final presentation (5 minutes, 6 slides…yikes)
• 6 more weeks of LEND- a poster presentation, and a paper

And a quick trip to Baltimore for a transition conference, where Owen and I are speaking on a panel!

There you have it! 

Spring… enough with the 40 degree weather. I’m ready for May.  Any day now….

Sometimes I have to wonder why the Cyr family can't catch a break. I know, I understand the "everything happens for a reason" mantra and that "God doesn't give you anything you can't handle" but I mean SERIOUSLY. The extreme ups and downs are just sucking. It's not like a sunny day, then it rains, it's like, we built a mansion then a tornado came through just to say hi.

The Good:
Mom and I drove down to camp on Thursday, and it was really fun, and nice. I don't think we've spent that much uninterrupted time together in.....months? I made a huge playlist of all songs that represent everyone in our family and they were great to sing to. Then we got Aunt Annie's pretzels, which always rock my world.
Camp was beyond amazing of course. We got settled into our lodge which was gooorgeous and had some time to kill before dinner so we just sat outside and read for awhile. Then Karen found us, and we talked forever and she taught my mom how to drive the golf cart. Camp is so beautiful this time of year and it is truly so strange how while you're there, all negative or confusing thoughts just leave your mind, and you're just THERE. In the moment, being peaceful and young. I needed it more than I realized.
Dinner was a vegetarian feast of pita, couscous, hummus and everything amazing that I adore, and they had pitchers of iced chai at every table. Delish. After, of course, there was singing, and Marissa, one of Maisy's counselors grabbed me and pulled me into the circle and said "oh come on Mal...." because usually I try to keep a low profile before I speak, then I get in with everyone after. But I did join in and the first song we sang was Seasons of Love. Thanks guys. Followed by Hero (maisy recorded last summer at camp), and Can You Feel the Love tonight (first NYC moment). Gah.
We went up to the theater for a "campfire" since it was raining, and they did that whole thing...ending of course with Stars in the Sky... all of this working up to my speech. Thaaaaanks.
Before my speech, they played the camp video from 98 when I climbed the wall, which of course made me cry because not only is the video playing but the entire theater was cheering and saying "YEAAA MAL." like I was doing it again! that's camp for ya.
THEN Matty read off my intro and credentials (which did sound pretty impressive I must say) and Peaches and Hilary marched into the theater in graduation gowns singing pomp and circumstance with the biggest bouquet of flowers I've ever seen. It was amazing.
THEN I had to speak. But I did, and it was awesome and I think it was one of the best speeches I've given, like ever...
This sounds silly, but I know it's the power of that stage. Do you know all of the people who have been on that stage.... No you probably don't...cause I don't, but just of the ones I know, it's pretty amazing. And you can feel it. It's so cool to think of how many little kids will be able to be on that stage without even knowing the power of it. It's pretty unreal.

After my speech we went back to the dining hall and had ice cream and just socialized. Eventually it was just me and mom and Noodle and it so quiet except for the crickets and summer night noises and it was just perfect. One of those times you just want to freeze to carry with you when you need that kind of atmosphere.

The next day, we drove home, and felt hungover with emotional exhaustion but it was still nice to spend time with mom. I wish we could do that more often. But I guess the more time that passes, the more we have to talk about.

On Friday, Maisy had friends over, and we all went to Portland and I had a SUPER amazing shopping trip. One of those where you just get so many good deals, you go home and end up forgetting how much you bought. It was lovely.
I christened our Coach store too and the girls were SOOOOOOO sweet. I tried on sunglasses and really wanted to buy them, but they were > $100 so I decided to be good...
Maybe with the first paycheck. hee hee.
But I did get this:
(for those who don't know.. it's an amazing teeny wallet that fits all my worldly necessities)


Cause I needed a new one. My other one is from last year, and I bought with Megan. Er...time for a new one....

and there was Sushi to be had, and sales to be utilized, and it was just amazingly perfect.
Then we came home...

The Bad:
Long story short. We had the dog put down this past weekend. He bit one of Maisy's friends (the third or fourth person he's ever bitten) and she didn't clean it out (cause she's stupid and irresponsible) even though Maisy persistently asked her if she was ok. she ended up going to the ER, the cops were called. It was a drama of dramas. Later that same night, he bit Maisy. Not just nipped.

We knew it would happen eventually, and in all reality, we just bought him time. He wasn't realistic to have as a pet. He was unpredictable. We couldn't have people in our house unless my mom was home to go through the "routine." If anyone else tried...well, we know what happens.

It's a blessing in disguise (house party anyone?), but man, even though I bitched about him all the time, it suuuuucked. I woke up on Sunday morning as late as possible, and Dad had been on the phone with various vets and animal people. I came out of my room to get coffee just as he went out the door. Maisy was just standing in the hallway, hysterical. The kind where you cry so hard there isn't any noise...
I told her it was ok, and it wasn't her fault. Then we just sat on the couch and held each other and cried. She broke my heart.
After a while we were composed (semi...) and I started making breakfast, and she went to watch TV in her room (I seriously was afraid to let her go, I didn't want any emo episodes) Then dad came home. He said that was one of the hardest things he's ever done, then he went in Maisy's room and we all cried together some more. Yea, my dad cried. That pretty much did us both in again. But somehow it just seemed right that we were all together. We got it together once again and we all sat down and had brunch together, and laughed about how I'd have to get out of the habit of throwing food on the floor, and whether our cats would all move downstairs and back into our house. (still hasn't happened)

It was a rough morning to say the least, but then Maisy went to the farm to take her mind of things, Dad and I went to Verizon (helloooooo TREO) and we all reconvened at Nana's for dinner and I had a luxurious cosmo with my favoritest aunt. and we all played cards.
My mom still is pretty upset, since they were the tightest, and it is definitely way lonely here when I'm all by myself during the day. But things are easier now...sadly. And I will have my flip flops for a long long time. I guess it just ends another chapter....
but seriously? Where is the break.... we just didn't need that.

RIP EVIL PUPPY :(...please don't bite God...