Sometimes I just want to go back to being 17. When I didn't know any better. To the days when DD ice coffees were orgasmic, every Denny's trip was exciting and dancing in the Oak Hill gym til 11 was a "crazy night out."

It's really weird to think how things can change...and will never ever be the same. Things happen and are said. People come and go from your life, and you just never know. You can only live one day at a time. but when you take it all in and really look back. Just wow. I don't even know.

Of course it's super cold out tonight and the heat came on, which means winter is coming, which means I'm getting depressedish and emotional.... even though this year will be soooo different I can't help it.

Right now I need to just pull myself away from 2002 Mix CD's, old Facebook wall comments, and pictures and give myself to sleep for awhile. Tomorrow's another day. and it isn't Monday!


xoxoxo.

oh yea... and the Halloween fun has begun....

Oh it's been crazy. Not crazy good, or crazy bad.Just crazy.
The 80's social was pretty much amazing and can probably be logged as "THE event of the year." We had an incredible turnout, the music and people were amazing, I went without a single cent, had drinks covered for me (cause I'm fab like that) and oh yea I WON the costume contest! Weeeeeeee. It was just amazing.


The next day my knees hurt soooo hard from dancing. It was lovely.


Since then, stuffs been kinda up and down. The weekend was nice. I slept for like 12+ hours, which I pretty much needed, like whoa...
Then this week, I've just been kinda rollin' with things, trying to get my work done, and not fail out of school. I think I'm doing ok! yay for that.

Last night was pretty fabulous too. I worked a little bit on a paper that isn't due until next week, which I felt good about, then I was at the snackbar with Miss Andrea and Mary, and Meg randomly called me and asked if I wanted to go to the bar with them. I didn't really have anything pressing to do, so I said suuuuuure.
Meg, Jen, Caitlin and I all went down to the bar, in the pouring rain...almost got attacked by a skunk, but finally got there and had a lovely time. I was cold and soggy, and got an amazing Irish coffee, which is like a Denny's cappucinno x 50.
we all hung out, until Meg and I started making fun of people a little too evidently and had to remove ourselves to another room where there were other people and it was fun. Then Caitlin and Jen left and a while later, and we trudged home in the even worse pouring rain. But it was pretty amazing and we didn't care.

That's the stuff memories are made of!


Next up. HALLOWEEN DANCE 10/26 @ 10:07 pm (haha, don't ask me thats just what the schedule said!) BE THERE!!!!

Tonight was busy, but after my two meetings, I snuck off to The Landing and listened to the band they had there. I splurged and bought the CD and felt so at peace with being alone. and the new Landing is gorgeous. I need to go there more often, like I did a couple years ago. It's wonderful for some reflection and me time. They have surprisingly good music too I discovered..(and had discovered the night of Rachel Griffin)

Now I'm off to seriously relax, read and go to sleeeeeeeep! Yay for surviving another Hump Day!

Check out The Whatnot!

<3

It's Fall. And stuff like this makes me wish I had an apartment super bad. Oh yea, and I just watched the Laguna Beach thing on Overdrive, which showed one of their rediculously glamorous, way too big houses. That helped.

The maple stuff is out at Starbucks too. I may have to try the maple machiatto when I go home this weekend. Last year, only Canada had it.... and Maine...cause we're basically Canada.

Last night was fun. But I still feel like this week is just weird. Everyone feels kind of off.... but what can you do. I tried to have a night in, but like after three episodes of "Strangers with Candy" and 45 minutes of Gilmore Girls (yes, yet another guilty pleasure) I got super antsy and ended up going to the bar with Meg, then again with Nate and Roxanne, and hung out in their apartment til like 2.
It was fun though. It was a gorgeous night, and I really just wanted to be out doing something since pretty soon it'll be too cold to want to go anywhere. The moon was pretty, and it was just a very laid back good time. I needed the fresh air.
Now it's wednesday, and I sort of have a busy day, and it's blah. But we have a class meeting tonight, then LAGUNA. and I may subscribe to CosmoGirl I've decided. It's cheap....

on that note.

xoxoxox.

Oh fall. What can I say....

I feel like it's been a really significant past week, and I'm basically a different person since last October...but we've still come full circle it seems. It's just weird. who knows.

Last week was really good though. I went out like five days in a row, which yes, is a little crazy, but it was fabulous. For the first time I feel like I'm really LIVING in college. And I truly do have the best friends like ever.
Thursday we all went to the bar and even though there was definitely Fall in the air, we all at on the patio with our drinks and just talked and laughed for hours. It was really really wonderful. It's so great to feel like I finally have a "group" and it kind of includes everyone.

Then Friday I slept on the way home then quickly changed and Jordan and I hit up Gritty's, which is kind of becoming our Friday tradition. It was really fun. I have not laughed that hard in sooooo long. It was much needed for both of us. Saturday was Aimee and Margarita's. Basically I've just been seeing everyone and having a good time, which is pretty much what I need to do, because otherwise I find fall is kind of tough. and some things have happened, which have left me kind of confused emotionally, but it's nothing serious, just a strange replay of last Fall I guess.

Sunday, I ended the weekend with a dinner of filet mignon with my family and a hot bath to warm up and rejuvenate before coming back. It was pretty much amazing.

I'm kind of ready for a downish week now, and definitely another weekend. Family coziness, friends, and pumpkin spice lattes, preeeetty much make my life.

autumn <3

Sometimes old habits are heard to break... even if it isn't something intentional. Last night there were serious bouts of insomnia. I woke up at 5ish, and basically just could not fall back to sleep. I don't know why. Could've been the fact that I slept in all weekend and broke my pattern of a good schedule, or the fact that I couldn't breathe through my nose. But either way, after 5 a.m. I pretty much saw every hour on the clock and didn't fall asleep til I basically had to get up anyway.
When I woke up, I randomly listened to Clay Aiken... yes, make fun of me, but I adore his music, and it was an instant transportation to freshmen year, since that CD basically got me through the rough nights. So between the not feeling so hot, the reminiscent music, and the epitome of fall in the air, things got sort of sentimental. I think my mind (and heart) is just so used to spending the fall missing certain things... that it just thought it was supposed to, even though this year is so very different.

I took a nap after my first class, and slept way better than my entire night's sleep... but still, I just keep thinking about things. Also... I think it's just because I'm really lonely... and it's kind of hitting me. Not like depressed, solitary emo-ness...but it sucks I guess....

Anyway... my nap was nice, and I had dinner and coffee with Miss Caitlin... but man... sometimes it just hits harder than others. It's weird.

wake me up when September ends.... basically.

Whooooa. It's senior year. Craziness. Unbelievable really. Buuuuuuut. For the first time, I'm reaaaaaaally happy. It's like I finally know who my friends are, and how to manage time and all that jazz and can finally just sit back and have fun.

A lot happened this summer and basically I just feel like I'm a new person with a new outlook and a new attitude so I really think it'll be a good year....since it mostly has been already...
My room is pink and amazingly cute. smaller but I don't even notice the difference really, it works for me!
Here's a peek:




It is SUCH a different lifestyle from the stupid, all girl, mostly freshman floor I put up with for so long. I don't know why I didn't do that sooner.... oy vey! It's so good.

Anyway. obviously a ton of stuff has happened and I can't give the entire lodown here cause well.... it'd take me a week.... but I'll simplify and just discuss some of the key players in my life right now...since oh, you know, they'll be mentioned a buuuunch!
(for the dramatic crew who may read this, I swear this order is random, so get over it....and if you're not mentioned...then...welll.....do something nice for me and maybe you will be)

The Girls:
Andrea: aka- ; or the soulmate. We spent a ton of time together this summer and talked 24/7. She is my other half, knows everything that goes on in my life and basically completes me and makes school worth going to. k thanks.

Kerry: fabulous, chill bff from last year, she's in rehab. but we still enjoy numerous bar trips. She's a cool kid. Also my photographer. Most of the good pictures that are up here, are probably Kerry Brown originals

Meg: A crazy amazing wine. and laguna lover who also completes me. We hate people together and make fun of freshmen. Hey, sometimes it's too easy.

Caitlin: A fabulous fashion diva, who enjoys coffee and shopping almost as much as myself. we had lovely beach festivities this summer and are super tight.

Rachel: Sadly, she does not to F'ton, but we've been bffs since high school, I would not have made it through the summer without her. We are soulmates in theater, boys....and theater boys..... hehe

The Boys:

Colin: The opposite gendered soulmate. he's in CT which saddens me, but when he isn't, we see movies, spend way too much time together, belt bad 80's music, drink at Applebee's and pretty much finish each others sentences..... yeaaaa, it's a good time. oh yea he's good at music stuff.... psh.

Matt: silly, younger than me poly-sci nerd who doesn't believe in segways (like the transition, not the scooter), he likes to ditch me for Family Guy or Jimmy Kimmel.

Brandon: Knows how to have a good time. Has a hot tub, and is known for taking me on random Roadtrips to be a groupie for Colin's accapella group. oh we have fun. <3 him

Doyon, Roland, Adam G, et. al.- the other boys who come to parties and always provide good story telling and drunken (or not drunken) musical performances....they make my life pretty much!



Ok, so basically those are the tried and true. What can I say. Now, after being entirely lazy all day, I must sign out and be lazy some more, where it will eventually lead to bed. Back to school tomorrow for more adventures.

~You know you love me.
<3


and an updated pic, cause you know, it's been like A YEAR!!!

So a lot's happened, and I don't feel like writing it all here. Fiddler's going well, sort of..it's crunch time now...and my costume needs utter revamping. My infection is gone and all is well (can I get a hallelujah?) and the kid's show is behind us, so we're down to 2 commitments. Woo hoo! but it was a great weekend, and I'm just posting to let you know there some pics up of everything. Not as many as I'd like since a couple on my phone didn't save and I was doing lights during the actual show...but anyway.

Here ya go...


More later. Sorry for the slacking.

~Malphaba

Just another fun little update. I do have an infection and am going to the hospital. *sigh* We're hoping it will be something we can deal with at home since I utterly DO NOT have time for this and would much prefer to have a summer. But life comes as it will I have learned. And all we can do is Defy Gravity. So love to all and I'll update as I can....


~Malphaba~

ps- Broadway Rocks, truly rocks, and I get to sing in a Godspell song...and tons more. and you ALL better come see it.

So...once again, as Mallory is having a good streak....

I'm seriously getting a wee bit sick of being me. Not 'I hate my life, etc.' because truly I do not. But I get sick of random stuff happening just when I get ahead in life healthwise, so grr...

The past couple of nights, exactly an hour after I get hooked up I've been overcome with the worst chills ever that make my muscles so tense I can hardly move, and I just have to get in bed and shiver with 6 blankets til it goes away. good times. It's bizarre because usually that is a sign of infection and my fever spikes, and/or I'll have rapid heart rate etc, like I did with endocarditis, but there's nothing else. no fever or anything

Last night was the second time in a row it happened. And my mom called the pharmacy and the medical supply company and stuff, and I might go for bloodwork today and stuff so if there is something brewing we can head it off at the pass. Not cool. I do NOT have time for this shiznit. I love being the only person in the world who can get infections from existing. Agh.

On the upside....we have our first Broadway Rocks rehearsal tonight, and I'm psyched!!!! squeeeeeeee

ok...more soon I promise.

you know you love me.
~Malphie~

Just a little update. Not too much going on. Today Colin and I did a fun lunch then did the Bates thing that I love so much! *smile* It was really nice. We discussed potential plans for a city trip, and my sunburn itches like craaaazy.

Maisy's birthday is tomorrow too, which oughta be crazy, since we're having it at the pool and it's supposed to be crappy out. Ooooh well.

Anyway. I basically just posted to say I got some pics from the fourth of july party up! Such a good time!!! Yay.

Check it out here!


I also just won Fossil sunglasses on Ebay. Yay!

Cynic Princess- out.

So...let us talk about a lovely day shall we? Yesterday we had our fourth of July soiree, and honestly I don't think it could've gone any better. Other than the fact that I am brutally sunburned from hitting the beach on Sunday. It hurts to move. Eh. Annnyway.

We all went over to the pool at Nana's, and she had an amazing buffet with fabulous food as usual. Michael and his family got there first, but Colin called and asked if it was ok if they came over early! Yay! It totally was since the company had only consisted of French old ladies who felt the need to dig they're long nails into my lobster red back. Thanks guys.

So they got there and we swam, and talked and ate and laughed. And the pool was ultimately perfect. truly the best it has been all year.
I had a mudslide, and it was amazing. And it hit me a liiiiiiittle, but just enough to be fun and make Colin make fun of me.
And we laid in the sun together and it was ultimately perfect.
We had a barbecue dinner which was divine, and fabulous red white and blue layered cupcakes that mom and I made.

When the sun started to go down, we all got dressed and went to the fireworks. Colin left early with his mom and was going to meet us there. The rest of us drove over, and parked near the parking garage as far from the festival as possible, because my grandfather can't possibly see the point of going where there's other people. When we got there, Michael and I walked down the bridge to where everyone was, and met up with Colin and everyone right by the stage.
It was the usual gang that isn't mine, and I was able to avoid the awkward conversations with people I did go to school with, since we basically stayed by the stage the whole time except when the boys needed a potty break.

It was an ok time I guess...but it seemed like the fireworks went a little too long, and just got boring. there was nothing spectacular about them. I didn't get fried dough either since it was on the other side of everything...but oh well.

The day made up for it. It was a royally good time. Pics to come later.

~Malphie

Gemini daily horoscope:
There's something out there that you really want -- something you've been wishing to have for a long time. You've been saving your pennies, working overtime, depriving yourself of even the most basic of daily pleasures and flipping through catalogues to find the right deal. Well, don't look now, but today could actually be the day you find it. Make sure you have the cash on you and do some in-person comparison shopping.



Utterly ironic that I just happened to be going to Freeport today to get my Coach purse. I still had my birthday money in my savings that I had saved just for this occasion, so my parents and I went down early this morning (well, like 9 or 10ish). We stopped and got coffee at DD, (duh) mostly to make sure my new Debit card worked before going to Coach. For if my card got rejected there I would truly just kill myself.
So we did that and a few minutes later we were in Freeport! I was so nervous/excited I had butterflies. It's always so awkward and thrilling when you go in there and the ladies are all watching you (even though they're super super nice), but I was fine once I got there, since I've been like 8 times or something and even did the purchasing thing once. I squealed when I saw my purse was there. I was so horrified that the tourist vultures would clean the place out, but alas they did not. I grabbed it, and browsed around with it over my shoulder. My mom and I calculated and it turned out to be under $100! Weeeee now I could get the other smaller more universal one I had wanted, which also ended up being less than planned! Hoooly crap this was fate. the lady came over to talk to me for a bit about how classic the white demi was, and I said I really shouldn't get both, but since I made Dean's list it was justified. She was shocked for a moment then looked relieved and intrigued as if it all made sense as to why this teensy girl was investing in two Coach purses.

Then I wandered back over to the wallets which I had seriously been wanting and it turned out THEY were cheaper than before too! So I figured it out and realized I could get all three for what I had planned on spending for one! Perfect. It was meant to be. So I bit the bullet, remembered my horoscope and paid with my brand new shiny debit card. It was so thrilling watching them wrap everything and my wallet got put in this soft little drawstring bag. they even already knew my address from when I registered to buy my wristlet! It was lovely! It was so super fun browsing with my mom, and I even got some ideas of what she liked. Usually she just feels out of place there and isn't very enthusiastic but everyone was in such a good mood, it was great.

After the purchasing, my mom asked if anyone was hungry and we wandered next door to the sushi restaurant. It was still only like noon, so I just got a seaweed salad, but it was soooo perfect, and just like the ones I had in NYC every day we were there. It felt like we were there, it was so incredible (and because LL Bean wasn't in view). Everything was just divine and perfect. I am a happy happy girl.

The white purse

The pink diva purse with lovely metallic handle

the Wallet

So...Colin's birthday was splendid. It was a lovely dinner and fun to see everyone. Ironically it worked out so that Nathan from the show (who even more ironically is my brother in the show) showed up randomly, and we totally sat together and joked the whole time, thus making me not the oddball one of our age group. Hooray!
My chest pain is feeling a little better and the dr. put me on a no carb diet just for the weekend to see if that made a difference for my stomach at all. I think it did, but not enough to make a lifestyle of it, or to give up caffine. I know my limits well enough by now I suppose.
Fiddler is going well. We had a blocking rehearsal for the crazy scene of "rumor" and that was cool, and it's been rediulously hot lately so we've been at the pool a lot. Thank god for that.
I finally got to Freeport the other night with Jordan, but like always, all my stores (my two I wanted to go to) were closed so we basically went to Starbucks... (iced white chocolate mochas are the best thing on the planet) and LL Bean for way too long. We seriously need a new system.
My mom, sister and I, also saw The Sisterhood of the Travelling pants yesterday. It was amazing as predicted, but very off from the book. My mom and I both bawled. Not so much for the obvious reasons, but it brought back a lot for me, and what I don't really have anymore I guess. I miss having a tight group of friends who complete me and everything. But I guess my situation is just different. I do have friends...I need to stop saying I don't...it's just that they're so dispersed all the time. And in all honesty, I don't have many who are actually like me. I want to be spontanteous and random, and live a little...can't people see that life is way too short to go to bed at 8 when you're in college? Honestly now.
I guess Bailey taught me a lot. Anyway... for that reason I'm going out with Colin and Nancy today mini golfing or something...wherever they take me. We shall see.
I have to go enjoy the View and wake the sleeping equestrian sister from my floor.

*you know you love me*
~Malphie~

Yes, I am a "mostly sunny partly cloudy" person I guess. Or so I've been told. Well fine. Here's the partly cloudy part...if you can tolerate the negativity. My deepest apologies.

My grammy is back in the hospital
My car is retarded
My stupid school is saying I don't have enough credits to "be" a junior. I'm sick of getting screwed over.
I pulled my back yesterday opening my window. It hurt like hell.
I don't feel good. Can't eat anything without feeling nauseous and sore, and my chest hasn't stopped hurting since I ate last. I need to go to the doctor and do something about it (I don't particularly have time for this)

I'm sick of being short.....and single.

There, now that that's done.
The mostly sunny forecast:
Fiddler is fun
The weather has been nice
I got a freaking adorable bathing suit on sale!!!!
Pomeranians under $1000 do exist.
I am seeing the Sisterhood movie TOMORROW!!!
Summer IS looking up for the most part, and I'm loving it.

and....for today's forecast.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLIN (our beyond fabulous music director, and my bestest friend)!!!!! :-)



Yay! That does indeed make a good day.

This just in:

I am officially cast in the Broadway Rocks show that CLT is doing November 12 & 13. WHICH just happens to be the weekend the RENT movie opens, WHICH means I can see it with people I want to see it with! It will be a RENTastic weekend. And I am beyond psyched for the show! As lovely director Ron Bouffard said on my voice mail (in fabulous gay voice), "I hope you are as excited as I am!!!!"

Yes Ron. I am. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Also- speaking of gay boys, new fab musical in my repetoire: Zanna Don't, with my Jai Rodriguez. Looooooove!!!!

(even if I just like it because I am a fairy...whatever)

That is all.
You know you love me.

So ok. This is the first entry of the new "blog." I'm not quite sure how all this works yet, but I'm a fast learner I guess, so we'll see. Currently, I am quite exhausted from getting up at 5 and spending 10 hours in the car, but it resulted in getting an Aunt Annie's pretzel *swoon,* the email of a NYU actor boy, and picking up the little sister. Who I actually am quite glad to have home because I feel very outnumbered the way it stands now. She was ultimately fabulous at stage night, and everyone loved her. bla bla bla. she was a bit peeved that she was known as "Mal's sister," but hey...I said I'd prepare them for her did I not? She had a good week I think. I personally wish it would not be 50 degrees anymore and I'm desperately wanting some sun again. I guess some silly Florida going brat took it with them, AGAIN. Ooooh well.
I'm going to try to figure some more stuff out here, but stay tuned... blocking rehearsal tomorrow. Woo!

~til later.
*the Malphaba*

My new baby: